


Rough Terrain

by hannrose



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Parent AU, Slow Burn, custody battles, gwen and peter are in a relationship in the beginning, mj and peter have a kid, theyre like 24
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-09-30 02:07:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 43,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17215019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannrose/pseuds/hannrose
Summary: after high school graduation, mj found out she was pregnant with peter's baby, but never told him. his life as spider-man was too dangerous, and after she moved to california, she never expected him to find out. but, she's back in new york city, and peter is pissed.





	1. Chapter 1

**MICHELLE**

 

The best night of Michelle’s life was the day she graduated high school. 

 

Not just because of how she felt when giving the valedictorian speech. And not just because of the look in her mother’s eyes when she proclaimed the words, “I’m proud of you, baby.” But because that was the night she  _ finally _ had sex with Peter Parker. 

 

Michelle had walked into that party with the sole intention of getting Peter alone. She had been in love with him for years, but never had any guts to make a move. She’d watch him from afar and appreciate his handsome face. When she talked to him, she always got flustered and never knew what to say. It was embarrassing. 

 

That night, Michelle wasn’t going to be embarrassing. She had nothing left to lose. 

 

She found Peter by the snack table. He was smiling at his drunk ex-classmates, and perked up when he saw Michelle. “Oh, MJ. Hi. You’re speech was literally so amazing. I might’ve cried.” She stopped directly in front of him, her eyes trailing all over his face, and it made him ask, “Is everything okay?’

 

“Yeah,” Michelle answered. “It’s-- It’s just-- Can I talk to you somewhere private?”

 

Peter nodded and worryingly took her hand in his. He directed them through the crowded living room and into a random bedroom, and looking back, Michelle really wished she could remember whose house it was. Just to visit the bed that changed her life.

 

“So, what’s up?” he asked as soon as the door was shut. He sat down on the desk chair, his legs spread as he half-spun back and forth.

 

Michelle didn’t have time to waste, so she just blurted her thoughts. “The part of my speech where I talked about people who I love, you were one of those.”

 

“Aw. MJ, I love you, too.”

 

“No, not-- Not like that, Peter. I’m  _ in _ love with you.” She sat down on her knees on the floor in front of him, placing her hands on one of his. “I’ve been in love with you since, like, the seventh grade.”

 

“MJ--”

 

“Let me talk,” Michelle insisted. This was the moment she’d dreamed of for years, and it wasn’t perfect, but she was going to try damn hard to make it just right. “You are the only guy I’ve ever trusted in my entire life. And you’re the only person who has ever gotten through to me and made me so genuinely and blissfully happy that I hardly know what to do with myself. And I’ll regret taking this long to have told you, but--”

 

Peter kissed first.

 

That’s right, the blubbering mess that was Peter kissed first. He leaned forward, ungracefully smashing his lips against her’s, his hands finding her waist as he migrated to the floor with her. Michelle kissed back in an instant. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that,” Peter whispered. “I love you, too. So much.”

 

Things escalated fast that night. Peter had picked her up and they moved to the bed, all while maintaining their lip locked status. His hands slipping up her shirt felt natural. Her hands taking off his pants, and subsequently his boxers, seemed like her God given right. Their skin clashing together, all of Michelle against all of Peter, was the most euphoric experience she would ever have. And it didn’t happen too fast, and it didn’t even matter that she was going to college in California at the end of the summer. That was their moment. 

 

Michelle never regretted it, but sometimes, she wished Peter had used a condom.

 

Maybe it wasn’t that one night that damned her. They spent June through August in that position, getting  _ really _ good at making the other explode, and maybe one time, the condom broke. But, when she went to the doctor a few weeks before she was set to leave for Stanford, Michelle found out she was two months pregnant, exactly.

 

Oh, how her mother screamed. “You are  _ eighteen years old _ . How do you expect to raise a baby! Whose is it? Is it that deadbeat Peter Parker?” And Michelle let her scream and belittle because she deserved it. She was raised to be safe. How could she have let that happen?

 

When Michelle went to Peter’s house that night, she was so prepared to tell him. She had the ultrasound picture. She had pamphlets of their options. Her tears had mostly died, so she was visually prepared.

 

However, when he opened the door, Peter’s face was horribly bloody. “Another Spider-Man issue,” he painfully let out when Michelle was cleaning his wounds. That’s what they’d do when they didn’t feel like having sex. Michelle was really good at playing nurse. “Kind of got slammed into concrete a few times, but I’m all good. How’s it going with you, babe?”

 

Michelle got scared. Peter had enemies-- real enemies, with real and dangerous technology and grudges that never quite went away. He’d never be truly free of the job; he would either die from old age or die from being killed. And thinking about that, and staying up with  _ their  _ kid, telling them that their daddy was never coming home, made Michelle hyperventilate.

 

Peter would never live a normal life. And no matter how much he would have loved and worshiped her and their baby, he’d never be fully in.

 

“I’m just a little scared. Stanford i-is so intimidating.”

 

He wrapped her up in his arms and kissed her shoulder. Michelle melted into the hug, feeling safe and loved and incredibly guilty all at once. “I wish I could come with you,” Peter said.

  
“I wish you could, too. I love you, Peter.”

 

There was something wrong with her, really. They had sex again that night, and the night after, like Michelle was convinced it would undo everything. In those moments, she wasn’t a pregnant teenager who was never going to tell the dad, she was out of her thoughts and blissfully unaware of everything else.

 

When they split, it was amicable. They both cried a lot, and Michelle fell asleep in his arms, but they both knew it was for the best. Peter was going to NYU, and Michelle--

 

Michelle and her mom were moving to California, but she wasn’t going to Stanford anymore. She told her mom that Peter didn’t want anything to do with the baby, and that she wanted to be as far away as possible. What a horrible thing to do, she knew, and Michelle felt guilty every day.

 

She had the baby on March 10th, hundreds and hundreds of miles away from New York, but she felt Peter’s presence as if he was actually there. Their baby boy looked so much like him, with his nose and his smile, and Michelle remembered what Peter had told her almost a year ago. “If I ever have a boy, I’m going to name him Ben.” And despite going through periods where Michelle hated Peter’s guts for doing this to her, and for not being there, and for not even texting her, she was still so in love with him. So in love that it hurt. And, she owed him something, right? Even if he would never know.

 

Ben was the happiest little boy Michelle had ever seen, and he certainly didn’t get that from her. There wasn’t a moment when he wasn’t smiling, and as he grew older, she was happy to see that that never changed. He, also, loved watching the news whenever Spider-Man was on.

 

When Michelle’s mother announced that she had to move back to New York, because her own mother was sick, Ben was so ecstatic. He was five, and had on his Spider-Man sweatshirt and socks, and screamed, “That’s where Spider-Man is! Mommy, do you think we can see him?”

 

“Yeah, of course, sweetie,” Michelle promised, the pit growing in her stomach. 

 

She was going to run into Peter. Is it possible that after almost six years, Michelle was still in love with him? Because, if so, she was. At twenty four, she still dreamed about his eyes and the way he looked down at her when she was beneath him, and if she ran into him in New York, all those memories would be tainted. Peter was going to despise her. That look would be filled with fire and hatred and Michelle just couldn’t take that.

 

It was a city of nine million people, though. What were the chances of running into Peter?

 

Apparently, the chances were good. It was the very afternoon that they were moving in, as Ben sat on the truck playing with his Spider-Man figure and Michelle and her mother moved boxes. Neither of them were gone at the same time, so when she walked out of the building and saw a man talking to her kid, she wondered what the hell happened.

 

And as she was walking up to yell at the man to fuck off, Michelle stopped in her tracks. Oh god. She knew that laugh. She knew those arms and that hair, and even the way he held himself. He was playing with the Spider-Man figure, because of course he was. 

 

“Peter?” Michelle said. He looked over at her, and within a second had swooped her up in his arms.

 

He had always wrapped her up so tightly. And he smelled the same. “MJ! Wow. You look-- Wow. What are you doing back?”

 

When they separated, he kept his hands on her waist. It was like nothing had changed. “Oh, we, uh, we are moving in.” Suddenly, she wanted to throw up.

 

“You’re still living with your mom? Honestly, I just moved out of May’s apartment, and the rent is so high. You’re smart for that.” She just needed one more moment where Peter stared at her with love.

 

One more.

 

“Me, my mom, and m-my son.”

 

Peter’s eyebrows furrowed, and he checked over his shoulder. “That’s your kid? He’s so much fun, MJ, you should be proud. Uh, h-how old is he?”

 

“Five.”

 

“ _ Five _ ?”

 

“Five.”

 

**PETER**

 

The past six years without Michelle had been okay, at best.

 

He graduated NYU with high honors, got a job at Stark Industries, fought criminals, and dated here and there. It really wasn’t anything monumental. However, he was getting better and faster at being Spider-Man, and that was a plus.

 

Also, he just got a girlfriend. Gwen Stacy worked in the floor below him, and they ate lunch together everyday and it got to the point where Gwen asked him, “So, are we doing this or not?” And then they made out in a broom closet, marking the beginning of their first two months together.

 

Gwen was great. She was funny and beautiful and understood all of Peter’s science jokes, but some nights, he would stay awake and think about Michelle. He’d think about how madly in love he was, and how he would’ve done everything for her, and he’d stare up at the nights sky and remember the time he brought her up to the roof, and they just layed there for hours, and how that was possibly the best night of his life.

 

Gwen wasn’t Michelle, not by a long shot. Peter, though, was okay with that. Apart of him was beginning to lose some of the feelings that still lingered.

 

Then, he saw her. She hadn’t aged a day since the last time he saw her, still gorgeous and tall and he got so overwhelmed that he had to hug her. Peter never wanted to let her go.

 

At first, he thought it was just some random kid sitting and playing in the truck. He’d dropped his Spider-Man toy, and the ground was too low for him to jump down and get it, so Peter crossed the street to pick it up for him. “Spider-Man is my favorite, too,” he explained as he gave the kid the toy.

 

But, he was Michelle’s. He was Michelle’s and he was five, and if you did the math, like Peter did in his head over and over again, that meant he was also Peter’s.

 

“Peter, I can explain,” Michelle started.

 

It felt like he had gotten hit with a super sonic gun, blasting him a million miles away and taking the air out of his lungs.

 

He’d always wanted kids. He wanted three, and he wanted to live in the suburbs with the love of his life and raise them and put together scrapbooks for them to look back at when they grow old. Peter wanted to be there at every birth and every birthday, and for every first that there was to experience. He wanted the family he never got.

 

And there, sitting in a truck playing with a toy, was  _ his _ kid that Peter wasn’t around for. He looked scarily like him, but Peter didn’t know what he was like. Because he wasn’t there. Not for his first steps, not for his  _ five  _ fucking birthdays, and he had zero pictures. 

 

“Your life is so dangerous, Peter. I couldn’t put my son through that--”

 

“ _ Our _ son,” Peter bit back, tears welling up in his eyes.

 

Four years ago, during summer vacation, he was seconds away from booking a flight to California. He missed Michelle more than he could’ve described, and he never went because Ned found a party for them to go to. He had meaningless sex that night, with a girl he couldn’t even remember the name of.

 

He should’ve went to California.

 

“ _ My _ son,” Michelle defensively answered. “You may have been the sperm donor, but I raised him.”

 

“You didn’t tell me! Do you think I wouldn’t have been around if you told me?” The kid had stopped playing with his toy, and was staring at the two arguing adults with a look of fear. Peter knew that look, he used to give it all the time before his parents died.

 

He was going to pass out.

 

“That was the problem, Peter. You being around would’ve resulted in you never coming back one day. Do you know how that would’ve killed Ben’s chances at a happy future?”

 

What did she say?

 

_ Ben _ ?

 

The kid’s name was Ben. His son was named after his uncle.

 

“Ben?” he repeated. “You named him Ben?”

 

Michelle’s face stiffened and she took in a shaky breath. “Yeah. You always said--”

 

“I know what I said.”

 

Her mother walked out of the apartment complex, and stared down Peter like he was a murderer. She walked down the steps, hit him in the shoulder as she passed him by, and whispered the word  _ deadbeat _ . 

 

“Let’s talk about this later, okay? I still have your number.” Michelle went back to her son and picked him up, saying, “Let’s go inside now, Benny.”

 

Peter was hypnotized by the kid’s smile, and when he waved goodbye, Ben waved back. 

 

Michelle walked into the apartment without a second look, but Peter stood there for a solid minute. Wanting her to come back out, he came up with what he was going to say to her. Most of them were anger filled, and he’d never wanted to scream profanities more than that moment, but--

 

But, she was the mother of his child. And, yeah, Peter was pissed and ready to punch people in the face, but he wanted to see his son, and knowing Michelle, she would've made it impossible to do if he tore into her. He wanted to see and talk and hold his son until the day he died.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i know what i said about updates taking a while but i got too excited. a freebie. but school is starting again so updates actually will take a while! anyways thank you for so much support on the first chapter, im sorry i didnt reply to many comments i got overwhelmed <3 hope this second chapter pleases yall

**MICHELLE**

 

Michelle watched over her son, who was watching the news and cheering on Spider-Man. She bit her nails anxiously. What was she going to tell Ben? How would he react?

 

And was Peter going to be okay?

 

Not with learning that he had a son-- Peter seemed mighty fine with that realization. In fact, he seemed more than okay; when Michelle told him what Ben’s name was, his face lit up the same way it did the night she said, “I love you,” for the first time. Blissfully happy. Excited for the future. Ready for whatever.

 

And now, there he was on 5th avenue, fighting a gang with machine guns. It always made her so nervous to hear what Spider-Man was up to, even before she was involved with him, and when Michelle was in California she still got those waves of anxiety. But being back in New York, and seeing Peter for the first time, it was different. She was nauseous watching Peter dodge bullets, her stomach compressing, but her eyes wouldn’t waver from the TV screen.

 

It was like she was pregnant again. That’s all Michelle would do those first few months, keep tabs on Peter’s health. She’d always tell herself that if he died before he met his son, she’d kill him. But, he met his son, so she had to tell herself something different-- if he died, period, she’d kill him.

 

Her mother came up from behind her, announcing her presence with a disgruntled groan. “That  _ Peter Parker _ ,” she said to her daughter. Her mother dropped the final moving box on the kitchen counter with total disregard to what was inside the box. “His face is so punch-able.”

 

Michelle took one more look at her enthusiastic son before turning around. “Mom, he isn’t that bad,” she defended. “I’ve missed him.”

 

“You missed the man who skipped out on you and that baby? I raised you so wrong. When your father left--” She was always equating Peter to Michelle’s father. Deadbeats with no other purpose than to screw, impregnate, and ditch. Child support wasn’t a word in their vocabulary, neither financial or emotional.

 

Michelle always hated that comparison. Peter was nothing like her father. “Mom,” she tried intervening, but to no avail.

 

“When your father left, I thought that would’ve taught you to be smart. To be safe with who you talked to, and to not engage with meaningless boys.” She opened the box, and it had a bunch of Ben’s toys. She lowered her voice, “Peter might be his father, but he didn’t want anything to do with him. Don’t give him the time of day just because they look alike.”

 

Of all the chances Michelle had to come clean to her mom, this had to be the loudest one. The one that was screaming in her face to tell her mom that Peter never knew, and that Peter deserved so much more than that betrayal, but whenever she was ready to confess, she remembered what her mom said when she found out Michelle was pregnant.  _ You can’t disappoint me anymore than you already have _ . And she was always preaching about how Ben should’ve had a father figure, and if she found out Michelle intentionally deprived him of that, she’d bet that her mom would kick her out.

 

“ _ Mom _ . Peter is his father, and-- and he wants to be in his life, now. I think he deserves a chance,” she said, all the while sounding unconvinced, herself. Michelle didn’t want Peter to know, ever, but now that he does, she has to give him a chance. Even if it breaks part of her heart.

 

Her mother stared her down. “Fine,” she finally said. “I won’t tell you what to do. You’re an adult, you’re a mother, and you know him better than I do. But trust me, Michelle, this is a bad idea.”

 

Michelle took an exasperated breath and went around her mom to take the box of Ben’s toys. She walked by her son on the way to his new bedroom, and smiled at him cheering on Spider-Man. She’d always be thankful for Peter for giving her the best thing in her life, even when it gave her a world full of hell.

 

Ben’s room was, for now, a terrible mess. Boxes of clothes piled over in a corner and the only things that were actually set up was his bed, his dresser, and the Spider-Man poster he put up first thing.  Michelle set the box of toys down and started to fold and place his clothes in his dresser.

 

Halfway through, however, her phone started to ring. And who other than Peter would’ve been calling her?

 

“MJ, listen,”  he started. Not a hello or even a hi, just ‘listen.’ She could hear wind gusting through the speakers and he sounded out of breath. “I’m not going to pretend like I’m not pissed, because I am, but can we talk? Like, immediately?”

 

“Are you doing Spider-Man things right now?” Michelle asked. She knew the answer.

 

“What? No. I-- I mean, kind of. I’m on my way home. What does it matter?”

 

“It doesn’t. I can’t talk tonight, actually. We just moved in and I need to help Ben acclimate.” Michelle balanced her phone between her cheek and neck and continued putting his clothes away. “Can you do tomorrow morning at eight, at that coffee shop we would always study at?”

 

Peter sighed. “ _ Sure _ . Can you, you know, send me a few pictures of him? Just so-- you know.” He sounded like he was about to cry.  _ Oh god _ , he sounded like he was about to  _ cry _ .

 

“Of course, Peter. I have to go, uh, take care of the kid. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Michelle, without hearing him say goodbye, hung up. He wanted pictures.

 

Why did that suprise her? Obviously, he would want pictures of his son. Michelle had hundreds of videos and pictures of Ben--of monumental occasions, like his first steps and first birthdays, and of things where he did nothing more than look cute. And all of them would make Peter hate her.

 

Michelle scrolled way back, to the day when Ben was born, and found the first picture she had of him. Ben was in her arms, and she looked sweaty and gross and exhausted, but her smile was so wide and happy. All Peter would see when looking at that one would be that he should be there, at her side.

 

The pit in her stomach was now devouring her whole. All these years Michelle convinced herself that what she did was right, that danger would be imposed on them if they stuck around, but she didn’t know that for sure. Peter was the best person she had ever known. And he deserved to know his son.

 

And she was a terrible, horrible person for depriving him of that.

 

**PETER**

 

He was freshly showered, minimal bruises spread over his chest, and he was crying.

 

They were mostly happy tears. Michelle had sent him dozens of pictures, including the very first one of him, and his first day of preschool, and a video of his first time eating a lemon.

 

He was adorable. And funny. And Peter was head-over-heels in love.

 

Ben had his chocolate brown curls, and he had never understood what people meant when they said, “I could just eat that little one whole,” but he understood now. He wanted all of his time to be consumed by that little boy; Peter didn’t give a shit about his job, or his extra-credit duties, all he wanted was to be with his son.

 

That’s where his  _ unhappy _ tears came in, because he had a pressing realization. Ben didn’t know him. He wasn’t going to love Peter the way Peter loved him, he’d consider Peter a stranger. That broke his heart.

 

And then he thought about Michelle, and the tears were replaced with his boiling blood.

 

The  _ nerve _ on that woman. She had cried to him over and over again about how much she missed her father, and he’d have to hold her in his arms until she fell asleep, and some nights, that never happened. At the time Peter hadn’t cared, he was more than happy to have a beautiful and fantastic girl in his arms, but hindsight was a bitch. As Peter sat on his bed looking through countless pictures, he kept thinking that Michelle was nothing less than a hypocrite. Voluntarily doing the thing that was done to her.

 

But, Michelle had told him, “You being around would’ve resulted in you never coming back one day.” She was so convinced that Peter would be murdered when they were together, and maybe the fear was amplified when she got pregnant.

 

Still. What she did was wrong… Right?

 

There was a knock at his apartment door, and Peter slid his phone in his pocket to go answer it. He’d texted Gwen to come over, because he had some big news, and that was all he had said. She told him that was cryptic, but nevertheless would be over in a pinch with freshly baked sugar cookies.

 

And she didn’t lie, she brought sugar cookies.

 

Peter opened the door, and Gwen’s cheerful face grew concerned. “Oh, baby,” she frowned. She reached up with one hand to caress his cheek, “What’s wrong?”

 

Peter swooped Gwen into a hug, the only thing between them being the container of cookies. Usually, he melted into these embraces, and his hand would get lost in her hair and his mind would be overcame by her rose perfume. These hugs were the only thing he looked forward to during a long day of work.

 

He wasn’t feeling that that afternoon.

 

He ushered Gwen inside and placed the container on the table. She took off her jacket and got comfortable on the couch, patting the space next to her for Peter to sit down. When he did, she draped her legs over his lap and started to comfortingly play with his hands. “What happened, Peter? You look live you’ve been crying.”

 

Peter concentrated on her hands, feeling unnerved. He’d only been with Gwen for two months-- this was too much for a fresh relationship. “Do you remember me talking about my high school, well, post-high school girlfriend?”

 

“Yeah. I also remember me thinking it was weird that you brought it up the way you did. Why?” 

 

They went to dinner together one day and when Peter payed for the check, he audibly said that Michelle never let him do it without a fight, but only meant for it to be in the head. He and Gwen then had a long talk about their ex’s, one Peter didn’t particularly enjoy.

 

“She’s back in New York. I saw her when I was walking home from work, and--”

 

Gwen, always the enthusiast and optimist, saw how much Peter was stressing and decided to try and make this situation lighter. “And you ran over and kissed her, and took a quick trip to Las Vegas and now you’re married? I didn’t know you could do that in a--”

 

And then Peter put his hand over her mouth. She talked too much when she was nervous. “Gwen, MJ has a five year old little boy named Ben.”

 

“O-okay?” she said, her voice muffled. Gwen grabbed his wrist and pulled it off of her. “How does that concern you?”

 

“Gwen,” Peter stressed. He raised his eyebrows at her.

 

She blankly stared back and mockingly said, “ _ Peter _ . Are you just freaking out because your ex-girlfriend has a kid? Growing older is scary, but I promise you, growing older really suits you.” She leaned forward to try to kiss him, but he dodged out of the way.

 

“No, you aren’t getting it. Do you need me to spell it out for you?” 

 

“Well, apparently!” Gwen snapped. “What is so bad about your ex having a kid?” She took her legs off of Peter’s lap and moved slightly away from him.

 

“The kid is  _ mine _ , Gwen. Six years ago, MJ and I fucked like rabbits and I got her pregnant and she never told me, okay?” Peter, in a fit of rage, stood up and walked over to to the counter. He planned to stress eat his feelings.

 

Gwen gasped. “Y-you never told me you and MJ-- Peter, all you said was that you used to love her, how am I supposed to know--” She cut herself off.

 

“You just assume, Gwen. We were eighteen! What else was there to do?” Peter ran his fingers through his air and groaned; he shouldn’t have yelled at Gwen, god, why did he yell at Gwen? “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have screamed that.”

 

She sat back in her seat and stared into open space, clearing her throat obsessively. “No, no, it’s, uh, fine. A kid? Y-you have a kid?” Peter nodded. “Wow. Peter, I don’t know what to say.”

 

“Yeah, neither do I.” He gripped the kitchen table, the feeling of how  _ real _ all this hanging on his shoulder. He had a kid. He met that kid, yeah for five seconds, but he still met him. And he saw Michelle again. And all of this sounded so great before he told Gwen.

 

But, now, it was real. It was real and Peter was a father and he didn’t know what to do besides dig his nails into the counter so hard the tiling started to chip off.

 

Suddenly, Gwen was next to him. She was rubbing his shoulders and whispering, “Hey, Peter, it’ll be okay. Tell me his name.”

 

Peter took a handful of long and shaky breaths, and decided to pull out his phone. “His name is Ben. Like, my uncle Ben. And, and MJ sent me these pictures. I think this one is my favorite, if I had to pick one.”

 

It was a picture of Ben in a Spider-Man t-shirt, with Spider-Man web shooters pretending to release a web. God, that kid really was something.

 

“He’s adorable, Peter. He looks just like you.” Gwen smiled. But it was so easy to tell with Gwen when she was uncomfortable--her smiles came so natural, her fake ones was like stepping on a nail. “And MJ just, never told you?”

 

“Nope. Never.” 

 

“Woah. What a--” Peter glared at her unknowingly, only realizing it when she said, “Sorry. I bet she’s a good mom, but really. How could she not want you in her son’s life? So, uh, what are you going to do?”

 

“I’m meeting her tomorrow morning for coffee. We’re gonna talk things out.” Peter grabbed Gwen’s hand, brough it up to his lips, and kissed it. Just lightly. “Are you okay with this? I’d understand if you want to back out now.”

 

Gwen, a little too fast, shouted, “No! No. Peter, this is  _ not _ what I was expecting when I came over, but we all have something that is a little challenging. I’m totally okay.”

 

When Gwen lied, she would her hair behind her ear. And that’s what she had just done.

 

They had dinner that night in silence. Peter was going to have to tell Ned, and Stark, and Aunt May. May was going to tear into him after years of preaching safe sex. It was going to be as bad as his conversation with Gwen.

 

But first, coffee with Michelle. He had no clue how that was going to go down.


	3. Chapter 3

**PETER**

 

The coffee house had remained untouched since they were in high school. Peter was always quite happy about that, as that was the spot he’d always come back to when he  _ really _ missed Michelle. That was where he, honestly, fell in love with her. They’d stay there until close, drinking espresso after espresso, goofing off while they were meant to be studying for their AP Euro test. Michelle would challenge him to do the cookie challenge, where you put a cookie on your forehead and slide it down into your mouth. She never won, but he loved watching her play. Peter almost kissed her there, one night, but the owner kicked them out before he could. 

 

Michelle would always be so happy there, away from all the troubles of her home life. It was almost jarring to walk in and see her frowning and be so serious.

 

“Hey, MJ,” Peter said. He slid into the chair across from her, and that felt weird in itself. He would always sit next to her.

 

“Peter,” she replied. “I ordered you an espresso. You might not drink them anymore, though, I-- I don’t know.”

 

She pushed over the extra drink on the table and he gladly took it. He hardly got any sleep the night before. “No, I do. Thank you. So,” he paused, not sure as to what to say.

 

“So,” Michelle repeated. “What do you want to know?”

 

Peter decided to start off easy, and he leaned over in an exciting manner. “What’s he like? Just-- just tell me everything.”

 

Michelle smiled back. She got this glimmer in her eyes like Ben was the one thing she could talk about for hours. “I know other parents will say this about their kid, but he’s the best. God, he’s so amazing, Peter. He loves science, which he got from you obviously, and he wants to be a superhero when he grows up. He’s so genuinely funny, not just kid funny, but  _ funny _ funny. And he’s kind and… and  _ super _ strong. Sometimes I worry he’s gonna start climbing up the walls.”

 

Peter laughed. “He loves science? Well, maybe I could give him a tour around Stark Industries one day. I, uh, I work there. Been promoted a lot since my intern days.”

 

“That’s amazing, Peter. I’m sure he’d love that.” She exhaled and surveyed Peter’s saddening face. She placed her hand on his. “I see so much of you in him. Even if you weren’t there, there are parts of him that I could have never taught him. Those all came from you. How kind he is, how much he loves science, how--”

 

“You’re kind, MJ.”

 

“No, not like you are. Especially with what I did to you. I just thought that I had to do what was best for my son, to keep him safe.” And at that, Peter brought his own hand back to his side.

 

He tilted his head, “And what does that mean?”

 

“You live such a dangerous life.” Her voice was hushed, aware of everyone around her. “How many guys did you send to prison yesterday? Twenty, thirty? Imagine if just one of those guys knew about Ben, and what they would do about it. I can’t have my boy getting hurt.”

 

_ My _ boy.  _ My _ son. “I would never let that happen. Not to you or Ben.”

 

“Peter. You can’t save everybody. And, even if you could, you aren’t invincible. I didn’t want to put Ben through losing you. I’m so sorry for not telling you, because you could’ve, I don’t know, visited us in California. But I’m not sorry for protecting him.” Michelle always had been set in her values, almost impossible to sway, and he had to admit-- she was right. 

 

Peter couldn’t save everybody; he couldn’t even count on his fingers the amount people he had lost over the years. However, it felt like a slap in the face. He would’ve done anything and everything to protect his family, even if it meant sacrificing himself. 

 

He already lost one Ben. The man who raised him and made him into who Peter was today. And now that Peter knew about the other Ben, he’d move planets to be next to him.

 

“So, what are you saying? Do you not want me around? Are you going to move back to California?”

 

“No. God, no, Peter, obviously I want you around. It’s-- it’s complicated. I haven’t even told Ben about you yet.” Michelle took a sip of her espresso and winced, “ _ Cold _ .”

 

“What have you told him about me?” Peter asked. He wasn’t interested in his drink.

 

She shrugged, “That you’re a kind man, who wanted to be around but couldn’t, because you’re a secret agent for SHIELD. He asks about you a lot, actually.”

 

“I want to see him again,” he blurted. “I want to spend time with my son.”

 

Michelle took time to consider this proposal, looking from Peter to the ground to her phone and back to Peter, and then came him a convincing smile. “Okay, sure. Do you want to come over for dinner tonight? I’ll talk to Ben when I get home.

 

“Yeah,” Peter grinned. “Yeah, of course I do. What time?”

 

“Six. Oh, and would you mind bringing May? I miss her.”

 

“For you, MJ, and for Ben, anything.” 

 

They talked for only a few for minutes before Michelle decided she should go back home. It wasn’t anything monumental--she bragged about Ben while Peter soaked in anticipating for seeing him again. And as Michelle waved goodbye and walked out the door, Peter realized he hadn’t told her one very important thing.

 

He didn’t tell her about Gwen.

 

As he walked to May’s apartment, he decided that was wrong for a few reasons. First, the fact that Gwen never popped into his mind was probably worrying, as it meant their relationship wasn’t all that important. Secondly, Peter damned himself for even thinking Michelle would care. It had been six years since they were together. Michelle wouldn’t be jealous, and if she could keep as secret from him that big, then so could he. 

 

Finally, it was wrong because Peter was hung up on how he thought she would react. It made his insides turn to mush wondering if Michelle would be mad, or sad, or happy for him, but maybe that was all because she had so much power over him at that moment. She could revoke his rights to seeing Ben in an instant, and Gwen might have been a tipping point.

 

It might have also been because he still felt some lingering feelings. Just a tad, not even enough for him to consider acting on them, but they were there. They were there when she smiled, and when she played with her hair. Michelle was the first girl Peter had ever been in love with-- that wasn’t just going to go away.

 

Peter knocked on May’s door with a speech all lined up. He had the pictures ready on his phone, a smile ready on his face, and words that were going to persuade her into being happy about this.

 

“Peter!” she cheered, bringing him in for a hug. “I was just about to call you, do you want something for breakfast?”

 

“No, May, I’m okay. Guess who is back in town?” He said it as cheery as he possibly could.

 

“Who? Is Betty finally back? Ned misses her--”

 

“It’s MJ. You remember MJ, right?” May nodded. “She wants us to come over for dinner tonight.”

 

May placed her hand over her chest and sentimentally inhaled. “That girl really was special, wasn’t she. Well, I’m free. Tell her I can bring some store bought dessert.”

 

“Will do. Oh, also--”  _ don’t throw up, Parker _ , he was screaming at himself “--six years ago MJ and I had unprotected sex at a grad party and now she has a five year old son named Ben.  _ We _ have a five year old son named Ben.”

 

He held out his phone to May’s face. “ _ Ben _ ?” May repeated. She was starting to cry.

 

“Ben.”

 

May stumbled backwards, reaching out for something to grab, but there was nothing around. Peter caught her before she fell to the ground and passed out.

 

That was a great sign.

 

**MICHELLE**

 

Ben was more than happy to hear that he was going to meet his father.

 

He exploded, jumping up and going to his toy box and saying, “Which one do you think he’ll love, mama? I want to give him one.”

 

Michelle, feeling a ping in her heart, pointed at the Iron Man toy. “That one. Your daddy used to love Iron Man.”

 

“Mama?” Ben whispered. He walked back over to Michelle and rested his chin on her knee. “Do you think he’ll love me?”

 

“He already does, Ben,” she promised. She got the hair out of his face and stared down at her son, fear of how the dinner was going to occur almost consuming her. 

 

When she told her mom what the plans were, she went livid— ranting about how she didn’t want that worthless man in her home, and repeated how Peter was only around to cause trouble. Michelle didn’t listen to any of it, though; she was still mentally stuck in the coffee house.

 

Peter was already prepared to put himself on the line for Ben, and even for Michelle, even after how she lied. He looked…  _ happy _ about this. It took her a long, long time to finally accept what was happening, even going as far as being eight months pregnant and having not bought a single baby product. And Peter was already prepared for it all, and for some reason, Michelle felt herself being jealous.

 

She loved Ben with her whole heart-- but, because she got pregnant, she dropped out of Stanford, she cut communications with the only man she had ever loved, and she had worked minimum wage at the local newspaper. Michelle wouldn’t go back and magically make Ben disappear, she would never even think about it, but… But,  _ Peter _ got to go to NYU, Peter got to date other people (she assumed,) and Peter had a job at Stark Industries.

 

Of course Peter was ready. He was stable, with a life that had never been better. Oh-- and he had a heart of gold, which Michelle would never possess.

 

When Ben saw his father, actually knowing it was his father, it was going to be the best day of his life. And Peter, Peter with the job, Peter with the college degree, would be able to give Ben everything that Michelle and her mother couldn’t. And since he was Spider-Man, Ben could get signed memorabilia and meet his hero.

 

Michelle was quickly going to be overpowered by the giant presence that was Peter Parker. She could feel it. She used to experience it all the time in high school herself, the one time she shined was her valedictorian speech.

 

Call her selfish, but Michelle wasn’t ready for her son to love someone the same as he loved her.

 

Maybe this was a mistake, she started to fear. Just as Ben was collecting all of his Iron Man toys in a pile to decide the best one to give to his father, she was close to canceling the dinner. Michelle should’ve just talked to Peter more, set up ground rules, and slowly integrate him into Ben’s life. This head first approach wasn’t her style.

 

It wasn’t her style. It was Peter’s.

 

And as she reached to grab her phone to reschedule, the doorbell rang. Ben perked up in the living room and shouted, “I’m not ready, mama!”

 

“I’ll give you a minute, baby,” Michelle tried laughing. 

 

Her mom, who was getting the salad ready, glared at her. “I’m not answering it, Michelle. Go.”

 

Michelle braced herself, wiping her hands repeatedly on her jeans as she breathed in and out. She put a smile on her face and walked towards the door, only opening it up enough to put her head through. “We are not ready for you, apparently,” she apologized.

 

She looked to May, who was holding a pan of brownies. May gasped, letting out an, “Oh, Michelle. You still look so beautiful.”

 

May was, by all means, the most supportive person in Michelle’s teen life. While her own mom was dealing with unrelenting anger about her husband leaving, May was by Michelle’s side telling her how important she was to everybody around her, and how she just  _ knew _ Michelle could get that A on the test, and that it wasn’t her fault that her father left. May said that so many times that Michelle started to believe her.

 

Peter was standing next to her-- his blue and yellow plaid was buttoned up all the way and tucked into his pants, and his hair was slicked back like he was at a job interview. He looked pale, and nervous, and kept glancing at May for reassuring smiles. 

 

“And you don’t look a day older than since I last saw you,” Michelle complimented. She turned to Peter and said, “You know he’s five, right? Right now he’s in his pajamas. I don’t think he cares if you look put together, Peter.”

 

He looked down at his shirt, “Oh. Right, I just--”

 

“No, I mean if you’re comfortable--”

 

She was eighteen again, always being caught on her tongue and her stomach concaving whenever Peter was around. Michelle went silent on her own means and watched Peter untuck and unbutton his shirt, only to reveal an…

 

Iron Man t-shirt. (The one Michelle remembered stealing for a week, but he probably didn’t remember that.) “Ben is going to love that,” Michelle smiled. She dipped her head back inside the apartment and yelled, “Are you ready, sweetie?”

 

“Ready, mama!” He was running from his room back to the living room, only one toy in his arms. He stood in the middle of the living room and rocked back and forth on his heels.

 

“Alright,” Michelle said to May and Peter. “Are you ready?”

 

May answered for the both of them, “So ready. Peter’s been talking about this all day, haven’t you?”

 

“Yeah,” he croaked. “I’m ready.”

 

Michelle swung the door open, and Peter walked in first. When he saw Ben eagerly waiting in the living room, his eyes sparkled, and all the nerves that tightly wound his face evaporated.

 

She wished she could feel the same.

 

Ben sprinted around the couch, his mouth ajar in surprise, and wrapped himself around Peter’s legs. Peter never looked happier, his eyes about to water as he bent down to hug his son back.

 

May watched from the door with Michelle. “That is just… the best thing I’ve ever seen.”

 

“Yeah. It really is, isn’t it?” Michelle admired. She couldn’t keep her eyes off of the interaction.

 

Ben was now giving Peter the Iron Man toy. “Mama said that your favorite superhero is Iron Man, so I got you a toy.”

 

He held his arms outstretched waiting for Peter to take it. As he did, Peter glanced over his shoulder to look at Michelle, just for a split second. “She did, did she? Well, let me tell you, Iron Man is pretty cool, but sometimes, I think Spider-Man is better.”

 

Ben gasped. “I love Spidey! He’s so cool!”

 

Michelle snapped away from her daze and directed May to the kitchen. “You can just put the brownies on the counter.” She pulled up a stool for her and May to sit at in front of her mother. “And sorry there’s so many boxes, we just moved in yesterday.”

 

“Oh, not a problem at all.” May sat down next to Michelle, turning direction to her mother. “Your name is Diana, right? I think we might’ve met a couple of times. I’m--”

 

“May Parker. I know,” Diana said, rudely, throwing dressing into the salad bowl. 

 

“ _ Mom _ ,” Michelle stressed.

 

Diana looked up, slumping her shoulders. “ _ Sorry _ . It’s been a bit stressful lately, and we moved back to New York so I could take care of my mom, and then Michelle threw this dinner on me--”

 

“I totally get it, Diana. No hard feelings. Well, how is California? I’ve never been.”

 

Michelle turned around to watch Peter and Ben, the conversation just background noise. Peter was sitting on the floor with him, playing Iron Man vs. Spider-Man with Ben’s toys, and she could obviously tell that Peter was letting him win. He made the sound effects, and added commentary like, “Ah! You got me,” and seemed like he was really having a good time.

 

Grinning like a mad man, Peter decided to pick him up and hold him in the air. Ben giggled and kicked his legs, but seemed content.

 

“Put him down, Peter!” Michelle commanded. She walked over to them and sat on the couch. “C’mon, Peter, there’s a glass table there.”

 

Peter jokingly groaned and set Ben down. “Your mama is a fun sponge,” he whispered.

 

“Yeah she is,” Ben whispered back.

 

A few minutes full of father-son observing later, Michelle was sitting down at the table. Ben was next to her, Peter and May across from them, and Diana at the head of the table. She set down the plate of chicken for the adults. Ben already got a plate of chicken nuggets, to her mom’s dismay.

 

“He’s a picky eater,” Michelle explained to Peter. She served Ben green beans before getting her own plate. When he made a face, Michelle said, “If you don’t eat your green beans, then no TV tonight.”

 

“Peter was the same way,” May said. “You won’t believe what I did to get him to eat just a bite of broccoli.”

 

“Everything except shoving it down my throat,” commented Peter. He laughed with the whole table while taking a bite of his meal.

 

May widened her eyes, “Believe me, I thought about it.”

 

“Every single day,” Michelle added. She observed her son struggling to eat the vegetable, smelling it and lurching back like it was fishy.

 

“Hey, Ben,” Peter started. “If I eat my green beans, will you eat your’s?”

 

And, believe it or not, Ben stuffed them down at the same speed Peter did. He’d put up a fight for  _ hours _ just to get out of eating vegetables, but there was finally an incentive that interested him-- impressing his father.

 

It felt like a punch in the gut that Michelle couldn’t do it herself, but part of her was grateful for it.

 

The dinner was, actually, going great. Michelle thought it would just be a silent occasion, with everyone side-eyeing each other into oblivion. It was somewhat fun, however, as May didn’t hate her and Peter was just invested in making everyone happy.

 

Then, Diana asked, “So, Peter. Is May your only family?”

 

“Uh, yeah. My parents died when I was young and then I went to her and my uncle.” 

 

“And what happened to your uncle?” she pressed.

 

Peter cleared his throat, and looked to Ben to make sure he wasn’t paying attention. He was playing with his dino-nuggets, and Michelle nodded to give Peter confirmation. “My uncle was killed when I was fourteen.”

 

“Oh. That’s terrible, I’m sorry. So,” she continued, “No long-term girlfriend that you would consider family?”

 

“No.”

 

“What? Peter--” May started. “Peter has a girlfriend.”

 

He stared at Michelle, almost apologetically. “No-- not a long term girlfriend. We’ve only been together for two months. Her… her name is Gwen. Stacy.”

 

Michelle’s jaw was on the floor.

 

She didn’t have a hold on him-- it had been over half a decade since they were together, and of course Peter dated. Who wouldn’t want to date Peter Parker? But, somewhere inside Michelle, she had never exactly thought it would be a reality that he’d truly move on.

 

She had had dreams where she would come back to New York and Peter would take her, right then and there, and they would get married, and that would be that. Michelle’s life wasn’t a dream, and she knew that, but… God, but why did she care so much? She wasn’t going to throw herself into his bed, Michelle needed to be more calculated with her choices now, however--

  
However, Michelle couldn’t figure out why her intestines were making a knot in her stomach. The longer she stared back at Peter without talking the worse it got.

 

“A-- a girlfriend, huh? What’s she like? What does she do? Where’d you meet her?”

 

“Well, she’s a biochemist at Stark Industries, and I’m, uh, I’m an engineer, and we work together a lot. She’s great, MJ, I think you’d like her.” His voice was shaky.

 

“I’d bet,” Michelle blurted.

 

The rest of the dinner was eaten in silence, as Ben was dozing off in his seat and May was running out of ways to lighten the mood. When everyone was done, Peter walked up to Michelle and said, “Do you mind if I help put Ben to bed?”

 

“Seriously?” She’d expected him to say something about Gwen, but,  _ okay _ . “I mean, yeah. Sure.”

 

God. She wasn’t eighteen, no, she was fifteen-- back when she always fretted her life away over the way Peter looked at Liz Allen.

 

Michelle watched as Peter gently picked up Ben. He stayed asleep as they walked down the hallway, and she found herself admiring, for the first time that night, Peter’s natural father instincts.

 

It just looked right, Peter holding his son. It felt perfect.

 

Michelle, again, watching from the doorway. Peter peeled the covers off and set Ben’s head on the pillow. He tucked Ben in softly, caressing his face with love behind his movements.

 

Finally, Peter kissed Ben’s forehead and turned the light off, and began to tiptoe out of his room. He closed the door behind him and looked to Michelle. “MJ, that kid is just-- Wow.”

 

“I know. So, Peter? I think we need to set down a few rules, if you’re okay with that.” Her back was against the wall and she slumped just a tiny bit to look him in the eyes. 

 

“Anything you want.”

 

“Before you buy anything for him, you should run it by me. Obviously not on Christmas or his birthday, but just if you see something and you want him to have it, don’t just spring it on me when you get here.”

 

Peter nodded, in a way that seems he was ready for anything she was going to say. “Got it. I’m still drowning in student debt, though, so don’t expect big presents.”

 

That got a smile out of her. “Second, I think that, for  _ now _ , you should just stick to babysitting. Study him with that Parker brain and if you want, you can set up a space for him in your apartment for sleepovers. His own bed, stuff like that.” Peter put his thumbs up. “No ditching him to go do Spider-Man business, okay? If you’re going to be there, then be there. And… don’t introduce him to Gwen. Not until I meet her.”

 

He furrowed his eyebrows. “Is this because I didn’t tell you about her? MJ, I’m so sorry about that.”

 

“No, Peter. He’ll get confused. Back in California, all of his friend’s parents were together, and if he sees you with Gwen, he won’t know what is going on. And I’m not going to have anyone around my son--  _ our _ son that I don’t trust, okay?”

 

“Yeah,” Peter agreed, looking to his toes. “Yeah, I get it. No Gwen, promise.”

 

“Thank you,” she sighed. That made her feel so much better. “And, Peter. I think you’re going to be a great dad.”

 

“Thanks, MJ. You’re a great mom.”

 

And then he brought her in for a hug, a hug that didn’t last long enough by her standards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for all the support!! im so glad you guys are enjoying this! @ me on twitter to tell me to update this or to ask me questions: @chaoshoIland


	4. Chapter 4

**PETER**

 

He could hardly concentrate. For hours, Peter had been staring at the same configurations trying to figure out why the stupid thing would break apart whenever he turned it on. 

 

All he wanted to do was fast forward to five p.m. Ben was coming over, per Michelle’s request, and Peter hadn’t seen him since the two days after the dinner. In that time, he and Gwen went to Ikea together to buy furniture for Ben. She helped set the items up in his spare bedroom, too.

 

Beds and dressers and tables were easy to assemble-- but Tony’s new blueprint for a new robot assistant was bullshit. Peter could hardly read it.

 

“Kid, you’re stressing me out from across the room,” his supervisor, Dr. Otto Octavius, said. “Do you need some assistance?”

 

Next to Tony, Otto was the next best thing Peter had to a mentor. He helped with projects that didn’t even contain a scrap of work influence, and didn’t care what time of night his phone rang or what Peter even needed help for. Peter knew a lot about him, on the surface level, but didn’t ask many deep questions. Otto usually was the one who asked them, and Peter would be too nervous to probe him back.

 

“Nah, I’m just freaking out a bit,” Peter explained. “D-do you have any kids, Doc?”

 

“No, I never got around to it. I wish I had, though… Why? Oh-- is Gwen…?” Otto insinuated.

 

Peter almost shouted, “No! No, she isn’t. But, my high school girlfriend, she just came back from California. And she has this little boy, and he’s mine, Doc. I’ve got a son.”   
  


Otto raised his eyebrows and dropped the tools that were in his hand. “Wow, Peter. You’re sure he’s your’s? Because we could go downstairs and do a test right now, if you have anything.”

 

“Certain, Doc. I’m babysitting tonight, and I’m just--” Peter groaned in an demonstration and pulled on his hair slightly.

 

Otto took a while before he said anything, and Peter watched as Otto’s eyes suddenly blazed with an idea that seemed revolutionary. However, he shoved it down with a clearing of his throat and his brightness dimmed down. “So, what’s making it so you can’t work, Parker?”

 

“I just know I won’t be able to live up to this kid’s expectations. And MJ--the mom-- she’s setting these rules that are somehow making it worse. Like, they’re reasonable! Yeah, and I totally understand them and I’m going to follow them, but--”

 

“But you just feel constricted, right?” Otto chimed in.

 

“Exactly.”

 

“Why is she setting these rules, anyways? I mean, she kept the child a secret from you, right?” he asked, his eyes locking with Peter’s.

  
Peter nodded. “What about it?”

 

“I mean, you should be the one setting conditions. If this was brought to a judge, like for custody, it would most likely be ruled in your favor.”

 

“ _ What _ ?” Peter hissed. “A court case? Doc, are you crazy?”

 

Just the thinking about suing for custody gave Peter sweaty palms. He would never do that. Never.

 

“It was a hypothetical! But, Parker, you’ll do great. As long as you can finish that by five o’clock rolls around, you can see your son in no time.” Otto walked by him, slapping an encouraging hand on his shoulder, and walked out the room.

 

He didn’t  _ want _ to think about what Otto had said, but he started to consider what that really meant. It meant having a chance to raise his son. But, it also meant destroying Michelle’s entire life, and ruining their whole past together. Peter would never do that to her.

 

He… he just never would.

 

Peter worked on his assignment with that in the back of his mind, in a constant debate about whether it was right or wrong. He didn’t even finish it, though. And on his way out of the building, it had clouded his head so much that he could hardly hear Gwen shouting his name until she was right next to him.

 

“Hey, Peter! What’s up? You didn’t eat lunch with me,” she pointed out. She saw the puzzled expression on his face and sighed. “Oh, right. You’ve got Ben tonight. Are you scared? I could, y’know, come over and help.”

 

He had had a whole weekend to tell her, but Peter never found the right words. Gwen was, actually, warming up to the idea of a mini-Peter. She mentioned something about buying him some toys, which he hoped was a joke, and was just generally excited to meet him and Michelle. Gwen said she hoped to be called the “cool aunt.” “The cool aunt, f-for now,” she had added.

 

Peter linked hands with her and exited Stark Industries. “I appreciate the offer, Gwen, I do, but… I think I need to bond with him myself, you know? And, MJ has to approve all people in his life.”

 

Gwen laughed like it was a joke. “Oh, so she’s a mama bear, is she? Well, I’ll be sure to introduce myself soon. It’s nice that you want to have alone time, though,” Gwen smiled up at him, resting her cheek on his shoulder as they walked in sync down that streets. “It is very father-like.”

 

“You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. What does a five year old even like to do? MJ won’t tell me anything. She says I need to use my instincts.” Peter had a few things planned, like board games and he bought a few child friendly PlayStation games-- basically, he had games. Anything that could fall under the umbrella of a ‘game,’ Peter had.

 

“Kids like to be entertained, and they like constant communication. So, a little like you.” He stuck his tongue out at her. “You are going to do great, I promise. You’ve never failed anything before in your life, have you?”

 

They stopped on the street corner where their paths diverged. They turned to face each other, and Peter was incredibly aware of everyone around him. He kept his hands at a PG level and didn’t dare to truly get in her space. “Children are different than a history test, Gwen.”

 

“I know! But,  _ I _ totally believe in you. And I’m sure MJ does, too, and if she doesn’t, then you chose the wrong person to mate with.” Gwen giggled and pressed her nose against Peter’s.

 

He grimaced, “ _ Mate _ ? God, you’re so--”

 

“Cool?” She quickly placed her lips against his. “Okay, I promise that was my last joke. I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Pete.”

 

Gwen turned away from him, holding onto his hand until the very last second. He watched her for a few second, leaving when she checked over her shoulder, and as he left himself, he cursed himself from being weak willed. Peter should’ve  _ told _ her. Why was it so hard for him to be truthful?

 

As if he hasn’t been keeping a secret from the whole world for seven years. Peter was reminded of that when a police car blazed past him on his walk home, followed by two more and an ambulance. His grip tightened on his satchel that held his Spider-Man suit, but he kept his fight tight on the ground. Michelle would be dropping Ben off in half an hour-- Peter didn’t have any time to do, well,  _ anything _ . 

 

God, but it was so tempting. And if he turned his back on it, Peter would feel a pit in his stomach when he would turn the news on later that night.

 

Crime had been occurring at an unusual rate in the city recently, which was saying something, and it all traced back to one individual. No one knew who they were, or how they were orchestrating it all, but all of his hired goons that had been caught had all said, “He hired us to stop  _ you _ .”

 

‘You’ as in Spider-Man. 

 

He had heard that before, so it didn’t send any chills down his spine. All this guy had was money, and no guts to go out and do anything about it himself. Peter wasn’t impressed.

 

He swallowed his pride, however much it hurt to, and continued to walk to his apartment. The Spider-Man suit burned a hole in his side and sirens began to consume Peter’s hearing, but he knew Michelle was right with what she had said.

 

Ben was now the most important thing in his life. He needed to put him first, above anything else.

 

When Peter got to his apartment, Michelle was already there. She was sitting on the ground with Ben in her lap, and he was staring intensely at whatever was on her phone. She looked happy, he had to admit, now that she had a family that didn’t find her replaceable. Michelle smiled down at their son and would clear his face of hair and every so often would place kisses on his cheek, and he could’ve watched them interact for hours.

 

“Peter,” she said, somewhat shocked. “Wow, you’re actually here.”

 

“Of course I am.” Peter walked over to where they were sitting and helped Michelle to her feet. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

 

Ben hugged Peter’s leg and said, “I missed you, daddy,” just as Michelle answered his question.

 

As Peter knelt down to hug him back, he heard her say, “Well, you know. I saw a police car come by when we walked in. I thought you were going to be busy.”

 

He lifted Ben up to hold him on his side. “Then why are you so early?”

 

“I’m going to see my grandma, and I wanted to get there as soon as possible. You’re-- you’re here, so that’s all that matters. Here’s a few things to remember,” she pulled out a notepad. A notepad. “Don’t give Ben sugar after seven, or he’ll never fall asleep. And his favorite food is plain cheese pizza from  _ Domino’s _ , he won’t eat anything else, and if he says he wants more than two slices, don’t give it to him. His stomach will just go wild. And if by  _ some chance _ you give him sugar after seven, the only way to calm him down is to play the movie  _ Clueless _ . Don’t ask why, he just loves it. And--”

 

“MJ,” Peter stopped her. He held onto one of her shoulders and gripped it tight. “It’ll be okay. I’ve got it.”

 

She looked up from her notepad and took a deep breath while staring into his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right. It’s just… the only people who have ever taken care of Ben before is me and my mom.”

 

“Don’t worry. We’re going to have a great time, you have nothing to worry about,” Peter promised, even though his insides were saying otherwise.

 

Michelle gulped. “Yeah. Probably not. You remember everything I said the other day, right? How--” She was holding onto Ben’s small hand, not daring to let it go.

 

“I remember. MJ, go. Trust me.”

 

She nodded, her nerves infecting Peter’s. “Okay. I’ll go.” Michelle kissed Ben’s cheek and then stiffened her back when she faced Peter. “If he isn’t happy and content by the time I’m back, I’ll kill you, Parker.”

 

“Go, MJ,” he laughed. He shoved her shoulder to get her started. 

 

Michelle took another second before leaving. Peter opened his apartment door and started to hype up to his son all the cool things they would do that night. “And we’re going to watch a few movies, and play some games. Oh, and I have a surprise for you, Ben.”

 

He set Ben down and pulled his phone out his pocket. Ben was bouncing in anticipation when Peter pressed play on the video. He had taken it the day before when the idea popped into his head, almost immediately after taking down a purse thief. Peter, in his Spider-Man suit, was standing in the middle of a random alleyway. “Hey, Ben! I hear you’re a  _ huge _ fan! Just wanted to tell you to keep being awesome, and that you’re going to do great things.”

 

Peter didn’t really have any clue what to say; he thought it was going to be lame, and disappointing, but Ben started jumping up and down. “Oh my gosh! Spidey! Spidey knows who I am! You’re amazing, papa!”

 

Ben latched his arms around Peter’s neck and hugged tight. He called Peter  _ papa _ . And of all the moments that he had lived over and over again in his head, like graduating high school or college or falling madly in love with Michelle Jones that one summer, he could already tell that that moment would never get tired. Peter would want to relish in it, and hear it a million times over.

 

He called him  _ papa _ . He had never felt butterflies with that intensity before.

 

“And if you want something physical, I got a picture for you.” Peter grabbed the picture laying on the kitchen counter, a selfie of Spider-Man with his signature. “Just for something you can keep.”

 

Ben smiled so wide Peter was worried his jaw was going to break.

 

For that first hour they were together, Peter had no clue what he was so worried about.  Ben was a relaxed kid, who enjoyed his fruit snacks in silence while laying against his father while they watched Scooby-Doo. It warmed Peter’s heart sitting there with him.

 

Then, a someone started to knock at the door. At first, Peter thought it was the pizza delivery guy, but when he went to answer it, it was Ned Leeds.

 

Ned thought Peter was lying. “The MJ I knew would never do that,” he had said when Peter told him. “Besides, she was too much of a lovesick puppy to lie to you.” And even when Peter sent picture after picture, Ned disregarded it. He wanted physical proof.

 

“Hey, dad,” Ned grinned. “Where’s the little monster?”

 

“He isn’t-- He’s in the living room,” Peter sighed.

 

That wasn’t really breaking Michelle’s rule, right? She knew Ned, or she used to, and would trust him with her kid. Peter was pretty confident that she wouldn’t care that Ned was there.

 

Not certain, though.

 

Peter paused the episode and sat down on the couch next to Ben. “This,” he pointed, “is your uncle Ned.”

 

“Hi, uncle Ned,” Ben waved, cheery as always.

 

Ned took time to process before stuttering, “Holy shit, you really weren’t kidding. It’s like MJ had used bio-engineering to make an exact copy of you.”

 

“ _ Language _ ,” Peter hissed. “And, he looks like her! He’s got her apple cheeks and he isn’t totally a pale vampire like me.”

 

Ben, bored, leaned forward to get the remote, and pressed play.

 

“It’s just-- Wow. Congratulations, Pete. Wait, I have to send a picture to Betty. Make the kid smile.” Ned got his phone out.

 

“He isn’t a robot! Hey, Ben, smile for a minute, okay? And look at uncle Ned.” Ben compiled without a beat, showing all his pearly whites for the camera. Peter followed suit. “Send that to me, okay? Tony wants pictures of the both of us.”

 

Ned continued to gape at Ben for the rest of the night. In a good way, if there was a good way to analyze someone’s every actions like you couldn’t believe they existed. Eventually, Ben caught on, and started to stare deep into Ned’s soul. He thought it was a staring contest.

 

“I won!” he cheered when Ned blinked. Then, he stared up at Peter and pushed his tiny little hands into his father’s thighs. “Papa, mama said we would have pizza tonight. And I’m hungry.”

 

Ben batted his eyelashes and rested his chin on Peter’s chest. It made Peter’s heart legitimately stop-- he was so cute, and precious, and he was  _ his _ . Peter helped make that.

 

He wasn’t sure that the shock would ever wear off.

 

“ _ Papa _ ?” Ned laughed. “I’m sorry--  _ Papa Parker _ ?”

 

“Ned, shut up,” Peter whispered, like Ben wasn’t right in front of him. “How about I order some right now, bud?”

 

Ben excitingly nodded his head.

 

So, Peter ordered two pizzas-- one cheese for him and Ben, and pepperoni for Ned-- and while they waited, the three of them played Peter’s favorite game from childhood: Candyland. The board was broken in three places but it didn’t seem to bother any of them, especially Ben, who caught on quickly, without even asking any questions as to what was going on. That know-it-all nature, Peter thought, he got from his mother. Michelle always knew how to do everything.

 

And just as Ben was sliding into first place, the doorbell rang, and he dropped his game piece, shouting, “Pizza’s here! Papa, pizza!” He tugged on Peter’s sleeve so he would stand up.

 

Peter did, and rifled Ben’s hair as he walked to the door. He got his wallet out of his pocket and opened the entryway.

 

To reveal Gwen Stacy.

 

She had on a sweatshirt that was just above her kneecaps, even though it was eighty degrees outside, and Peter couldn’t see her shorts. She was holding a box that looked light enough, but for Gwen, that could’ve meant anything. She was kind of struggling to keep herself straight up. “‘Alone time,’ huh?” she greeted.

 

“What are you doing here?” Peter took the box from her, sighing once looking at its contents. It was a dozen different toys, Barbies and action figures and a few Hot Wheels. “ _ Gwen _ \--” he started.

 

“Ned posted something on his Instagram story about the two of you! And I thought, oh that’s weird, Peter said he didn’t want company. So I’m here to see if Ned is, and if he is, you have to let me in.” 

 

“I don’t  _ have  _ to do anything,” Peter argued. He didn’t have enough hands to stop her from pushing open the door wider, revealing Ned sitting on the floor with Ben next to him. Gwen just stared Peter down, and it made him cave almost instantly. “Alright, come on in.”

 

Gwen was there. With a shit ton of toys.

 

“This is so exciting,” Gwen whispered to Peter. “Oh wow, is that him?”

 

“No,” Ned sarcastically replied, “Peter has a second kid. This is Benjie.”

 

She stuck her tongue out at him and started walking forwards, but Peter caught her by the elbow. “Just, I was serious earlier. MJ wanted to meet you first.”

 

“It’ll be fine, Peter. I’m sure as long as you’re here, she won’t care, right?”

 

He had promised Michelle that he  _ wasn’t _ going to do this, that he wasn’t going to spoil their son and that his girlfriend wouldn’t be around. That very thing Peter  _ swore _ that wasn’t going to happen, happened almost without hesitation. At least, though, he hadn’t broken every rule. There was still one that was very prevalent in his mind, and begging to be disturbed.

 

Gwen introduced herself to Ben as his daddy’s friend, which Peter was very grateful for, but their conversation had been tuned out. Outside of his window, Peter could see multiple police choppers flying south, and it made his skin itch, wanting to get out there and help with the trouble. He  _ couldn’t _ , though. It was irresponsible to leave his son with two people who have never had child care experience before, and Michelle specified that Gwen shouldn’t have even been around Ben.

 

And, it was frustrating to Peter. He had sworn to her that he wouldn’t be involved in Spider-Man business that night, but his mind was always in that mode. What if the city  _ needed _ him? What if there’s a spot that only Spider-Man could get to before a building collapsed, or blew up, or whatever else buildings do? If Peter didn’t go, wouldn’t he always feel guilty for letting people die?

 

“Don’t do it, dude,” Ned said in his ears. Gwen was helping Ben get the best looking slice of pizzas. “If you go out there, MJ will know. She’ll see the news.”

 

“Yeah, thank you. What if I go under the radar, though? Like--” 

 

“She knows you too well for that. Your son is a snitch, I can tell, he’d give you up if she asked.” Ned took a large bite of his pizza without blinking.

 

“I can’t just let people  _ die _ , Ned. I-- Really quickly, okay? In and out like nothing ever happened. Make sure he doesn’t jump off the counter or--”

 

Ned waved him off, “Yeah, we got it. But MJ’s gonna beat your ass when she finds out.”

 

**MICHELLE**

 

She wasn’t mad when she saw a video of Spider-Man helping civilians out of a derailed train. Michelle was disappointed, but she wasn’t mad. The clarity of the difference in those emotions had increased dramatically since she became a mother, so she could confidently say that Peter disappointed her. He promised he wasn’t going to do that.

 

And yet, even though it was Michelle who made the rule, some part of her knew that Peter didn’t have it in him to follow through on it. No matter how much he swore he wanted to be in his son’s life, there was just no getting in between him and his desire to save people. She had known that for years. Ben was probably with May, and Michelle trusted May.

 

If Peter had moved Ben to his aunt’s house, he would’ve texted her. But that didn’t exactly calm her nerves when it was eight p.m., thirty minutes after Spider-Man was first spotted, and there was no text from Peter. So, their son was at his apartment. He had to be. Right?

 

Michelle’s mother noticed her biting her fingernails and kicked her out. “Your grandmother doesn’t need your external stress, Michelle,” she bickered, literally pushing her towards and out the door.

 

So, no, Michelle wasn’t mad when she saw Spider-Man’s name on Twitter highlights. It, quite actually, made her feel like Peter was still the Peter from high school, the one who would ditch a Spanish final if it meant helping a cat down from a tree.

 

No, Michelle wasn’t mad until she got to Peter’s apartment. 

 

When the door opened, all of her comments that she had made in Peter’s defense hit her straight in the face. She, over and over and over again, told her mom that he would never blatantly betray her. Peter wouldn’t do anything to put their son in danger, and he’d never go against any of Michelle’s reasonable requests. “Peter isn’t that type of guy,” she had promised. “He cares, and he’s loyal, trust me, mom. I know him better than you do.”

 

Then, a woman she had never met before was standing in Peter’s apartment, holding  _ Michelle’s _ kid.

 

She was blonde and blue-eyed and beautiful and petite, like all the models Michelle would compare herself to in high school, because there wasn’t a world in which she deemed herself similar to them. The woman had a pleasant smile, and wasn’t at all confused at who was standing in front of her. “Peter has told me so much about you!” she greeted. “I’m Gwen Stacy.”

 

Of  _ course _ she was Peter’s girlfriend. Of all the people Peter could have dated, he was with someone who was, undeniably, so much more attractive and pleasant that Michelle. She felt this jealous pit burning in her stomach. Gwen was holding  _ her _ kid, and Gwen was with--

 

Gwen was with her nothing. They weren’t anything. Michelle had to keep reminding herself of that.

 

“Hm,” Michelle blandly responded. “Is Peter here?”

 

“Y-yeah, he is. He just got back from his aunt’s, though, he had to pick a few things up. He’s in the bathroom.” Gwen was confused at Michelle’s disinterest for her, and stepped out of the way so she could walk into the apartment.

 

Michelle took Ben out of her arms. He was sleepishly keeping his eyes open, and curled around his mother’s body while trying to explain everything that had happened. “Mama, I, I had so much fun. P-papa and Gwenie gave me new toys, and Ned taught me… taught me…” He passed out, drool dripping onto Michelle’s shirt.

 

“New toys?” she asked Gwen.

 

Gwen babbled, “That was all me. I had a few laying around my apartment because my niece’s liked to play with them when they were young and I might’ve bought a few, but I’m not expecting you to pay me back or anything! I just-- Peter’s important to me, and Ben is important to Peter, so I--”

 

“I got it, Gwen,” Michelle hissed. She turned to Ned, who was watching from the couch, and who she hadn’t even seen since high school. “Ned. What’d you teach him?”

 

“Hey, MJ, haven’t seen you in a while. I hope you’re doing well! My year has been great so far. Betty is coming back from Europe soon and-- Sorry. I might’ve accidentally taught him a few swear words.” Ned sunk down in the couch and shielded his face from Michelle’s wrath.

 

She bit her lip to contain her emotions. “Whatever, it’s not like he doesn’t hear them at home. Just, next time, keep it down. Can you keep an eye on him while I talk to Peter?”

 

“Yeah, of course.” He welcomed up a spot by putting a pillow on his lap for Ben to lay his head on, which Michelle gently placed her son down. “The bathroom is the first room on the left.”

 

When Michelle walked that way, she couldn’t ignore Gwen’s sad and lonely stare. She had taken Ben out of her arms just to put him in someone else's, a move only a bitter ex-wife would do to her ex-husband’s new girlfriend.

 

Michelle hammered her fist on the door three times. “Parker,” she rang. “Can I come in?”

 

“M-MJ?” he stuttered out. She could hear items being knocked over and cabinets being shut. “Yeah, you can come in.”

 

The first thing she noticed in the bathroom was the bloody rags in the garbage. Then, the hydrogen peroxide on the counter and the wounds on Peter’s back that looked like it came from a giant claw machine. “Peter--” she gently started, but then masked that gentleness with something different. Michelle grasped onto the hydrogen peroxide and got a cloth, and started cleaning the claw machine patterns. “You said you would stay home.”

 

“I know, I’m so sorry, MJ.”

 

“What the fuck happened, Peter?” She took hard swipes at his skin. Michelle could tell that there was no need for stitches, not with his healing powers; it was something she had always been able to tell in an instant.

 

“No clue! This guy came up behind me and I didn’t even see his face and--”

 

“ _ No _ . I meant with  _ Gwen _ . Why the hell is she here?” Michelle grabbed some gause and started wrapping Peter’s torso, and he awkwardly stiffened when she did.

 

“It’s not like I invited her. She just showed up because Ned came, and then I couldn’t say no. And, Ben had a great time! He loves her! So, what’s the big deal, MJ?” 

 

She tucked the loose end of the bandages under the other rows and watched as Peter put on his fresh t-shirt. “The big deal is that I  _ asked _ you not to let her over! And I asked you to run by everything you buy and  _ not to leave to almost get killed _ !”

 

Michelle swung the door open, in her hot-headed manner, and stormed out of the bathroom. She knew Peter was right behind her, so at a level that wouldn’t wake Ben, but at a level that she knew Gwen would hear, she said, “If you’re going to be a parent, Peter, you need to learn how to say no. That boy will beg and beg for shit he doesn’t need, so you say no! He doesn’t need a million toys, because he hardly even plays with half of the ones he has now! Be responsible, Parker.”

 

Peter bit down, flexing his jaw, his eyes just as intense as Michelle’s. “I’m  _ learning _ , okay? You got to go through all the trial and error stuff with him as a baby, and I’m going through it now. Give me time, MJ.”

 

“Peter?” Gwen’s voice, small and tiny like her satire, croaked out. “I’m going to go home. MJ, I’m so sorry if I--”

 

“It’s fine,” Michelle blurted. She wasn’t even looking in Gwen’s direction. “It was nice meeting you, Gwen.”

 

“I’ll come with you,” Ned hurried. He slid his way off the coach without disturbing Ben and almost sprinted to Gwen’s side. “Uh, have fun.”

 

They left. Now, it was just Peter and Michelle in a stalemate, and one sleeping five year old. 

 

“How am I supposed to trust you with my kid if you don’t keep your word?” she asked.

 

“ _ Our _ \--” he started, frustrated, but dropped it with a groan. “MJ, I promise you, tonight-- tonight was a fluke. Tonight was first night jitters! Ben is my top priority.” Peter held her hands together like he was scared she might do something drastic.

 

“You aren’t just thinking for yourself anymore. You’re thinking for that little boy, too, so before you do anything, just for a moment consider if it’s going to get you killed. And if it’s the best thing for him. Not the best thing for  _ you _ .” Michelle yanked her hands away and started to walk towards the couch, where she slid her arms under her son to pick him up.

 

“Woah, woah-- where are you going?”

 

She adjusted Ben on her side. “Home. Ben is already asleep.”

 

“No, MJ,” Peter said, hopping in front of her. “I-- I set up a room for him! Let him sleep here. I won’t leave again, okay? And Gwen won’t be back here. I  _ swear _ .”

 

Why was she so inclined to trust him, all the time? She remembered how he used to lie before admitting he was Spider-Man, because  _ that _ was the most important thing in his life. And even after learning her best friend lied and lied and lied, Michelle told him everything and believed him when he said he was never in danger. 

 

She always forgot those things. She always forgave those things. But, as Michelle pondered on if she should leave her son with Peter for a night, her stomach twisted and turned in a way she couldn’t explain. 

 

He let  _ Gwen _ in.

 

“If Ben stays,” Michelle proposed, “Then I’m sleeping on the couch.”

 

“Yeah, sure. Whatever you want, MJ.”

 

For the second time, Michelle observed Peter tuck Ben in, but didn’t stay for his wonderstruck gazes. She excused herself to the bathroom and got her phone out to call her mom.

 

Her mom met her with immense disappointment. “You don’t owe that man anything,” she accused. 

 

“I know, mom.” Michelle kept her voice hushed, scared that Peter might pick some things up with his hearing. “And guess who answered the door for me? The  _ girlfriend _ . I asked him--”

 

“If I were you,” her mom interrupted, “I’d cut all ties with him. Do exactly what we did to your father. Don’t even think about him.”

 

Michelle bounced her foot up and down, staring at the floor in shame. “I can’t.”

 

Her mom sighed. “Because you’re still in love with him?” she asked, but it wasn’t opened to be answered. It was a statement. A slap in the face, but a statement nonetheless.

 

“Mom--”

 

“You’re too emotional,” she groaned, and within seconds, had hung up the phone.

 

Michelle quickly splashed water on her face and walked out into the living room. It was nine o’clock, too early for either of them to go to bed, so Peter offered to reheat some pizza and to play a movie to pass the time. “Like we always used to do in high school, remember?” he smiled.

 

Michelle, her conversation with her mother hanging over her head, scowled, saying, “Yeah, and we know how that turned out.”

 

They sat there in silence, watching a movie she had already seen, and eating half-burnt pizza. Halfway through, Peter, who was on the opposite side of the couch, paused the movie.

 

“MJ, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have broken your rules, and next time when Ben is over, I won’t go off and do Spider-Man business. He’s my top priority, and I want a chance to show you that. Please, MJ, trust me.” The screen lit Peter’s face, showing just enough emotion to, eventually, make her cave.

 

“I trust you, Peter,” she managed. 

 

Peter erupted into a grin that he soon forced down. “Thank you. So much. I have work in the morning, so, yeah. I’m heading to bed. Wake me if you need anything else and for when you leave, there’s a spare key under the mat.” He walked around the coffee table to reach her, and leaned down to embrace her. “Thank you, MJ,” he whispered in her ear.

 

He walked to his bedroom, closing the door, and she started to continue the movie with the volume on low. Michelle didn’t fall asleep until much later, despite how annoyingly comfortable Peter’s couch was.

 

_ You’re still in love with him _ , her mom’s words ran through her mind.

 

Michelle had never denied it. At three a.m., she drafted up a text to send to her mother. A whole paragraph, one that probably wasn’t coherent, about how she hadn’t been in love with Peter Parker since that second year in California.

 

She deleted the paragraph, though, crashing her head down on the pillow and turning on a different movie.

  
_ You’re  _ still _ in love with him _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was SO long and bleh im sorry! but thanks for sticking it out <3 more interesting chapters will come soon!


	5. Chapter 5

  **PETER**

 

His life had never been more chaotic.

 

Tony, his _boss_ Tony, had started to create all these blueprints, most of them that ended up being discarded, and would shove them onto Peter’s desk, because he had the _magic_ touch. So, at work, Peter would be fixing and tweaking non-stop. Otto would be there, of course, trying to help him, but on random days would hardly say a word to Peter. One day, he’d offer to take a project off of his load, and the next, he’d mercilessly slam down four more.

 

Then, _Iron Man_ Tony would send Peter random distress calls for him to check out. There’s a fire in Queens? Call Peter. There’s gunmen trying to rob Stark Towers? Oh, sorry, Tony is in India, but Peter is just around the corner. Peter’s back is killing him and some mornings he can hardly move? He’s fine. There are civilians to save!

 

And, obviously, Peter chased down every call he could. On the nights he wasn’t with Ben, Peter would stay up until the late hours of the night trying to do as much as he could. He felt like if he had to make up for the days he was losing. All he wanted was to find the person behind the whole “killing Spider-Man” initiative, and the faster he did that, the safer the city was.

 

The safer his family would be, at least, and that was mainly his driving motivation for not passing out on rooftops.

 

It had been two weeks since his first night with Ben, and he had yet to leave for Spider-Man business again. Michelle, for the first few nights Peter was with his son, hung around the whole time. “I gave you too much too soon,” she had told him one afternoon. They were sitting on the couch together, watching Ben play with Legos, and they were having a conversation, for once, that wasn’t filled with punches.

 

And it made Peter think-- what would it have been like if Michelle had told him in the first place?

 

He’d actually been thinking about that a lot, actually. In his optimistic view, they’d probably be married. They’d probably have another kid, and Michelle would have been able to graduate college and would’ve had a job at the Daily Bugle, like she had always wanted. And Peter wouldn’t feel like an outsider in his son’s own world, and he’d already know all the stories and wouldn’t have to watch every video a million times just to feel like he was _there_ with Ben when he grew up.

 

But, if Peter had to be honest, his optimistic outlooks almost never became a reality.

 

That’s what killed him. See, even if they _had_ stayed together, and even if they _had_ raised Ben together, they probably would’ve been estranged in a matter of years. Two eighteen year olds raising a baby didn’t equal a happy ending, even when you considered how much they cared for each other.

 

Peter tried to say yes to whatever Michelle invited him to. Dinners with her icy cold mother, a trip to the zoo, and even a parents’ night at Ben’s school where he’d be starting in the fall-- yes, a _parents_ night. They were the youngest people there by at least a decade. He stuck to her side like glue the whole time, not knowing what to do or who to talk to. Michelle wasn’t sure either, exactly, so they stood near the refreshment tables sipping on their plastic cup of wine, and counted how many times each parent walked up to get more.

That felt like what they used to do at high school parties. When Peter told her that Felicia, mother of three cats and one child, had taken her sixth glass, Michelle erupted into giggles. “Watch, if she is too tipsy to walk, then they’re going to throw another one as an apology for this one. That’s what happened at Ben’s preschool, at least.”

 

“You’ve been to one of these before?” he asked. The small sips of wine were doing nothing for him.

 

“Yeah, but, this one is much better. Must be the type of wine they have.”

 

“Yeah. Must be.” Peter nudged her with his shoulder, and she nudged back, and it felt _normal_. Their friendship felt like it had returned; he didn’t have this sinking feeling in his stomach when he looked at her anymore, and even better, they were back to joking around. No hard jabs, or anything, just cheeky smiles with light comments.

 

Being with Michelle all that time was beneficial to everyone. Her, Peter, and their son.

 

Actually-- there was one person that it was detrimental to.

 

Peter hadn’t see Gwen in days. Not for lack of trying, though, but with everything going on in his life, he just didn’t have enough time. Gwen said she understood, but with every canceled plan and every lunch he missed, Peter could just see her heart getting dragged in the mud.

 

When he asked her out to dinner for a Saturday night, Gwen immediately pounced on the chance. She texted back ‘yes’ twenty times without ever asking where or what time.

 

God, and Peter was _so_ close. His tie was on and his hair was slicked back, and he was about to text her that he was on his way, when Michelle called.

 

“Hey, are you busy?” she whispered.

 

“Why? Is everything okay?” He slipped his suit jacket on-- he was planning on taking Gwen to a nice, expensive restaurant, for all the trouble he had caused.

 

Michelle took an exhausted breath. “Uh, not really? I wasn’t going to mention it for a while, just so you wouldn’t want to drop everything and come over. But, Ben has a bad fever, and nothing I’m doing is working, and he’s _begging_ for you. Do you think you could stop by? For a few minutes?”

 

“‘Course, MJ. It’ll be there as soon as possible.”

 

It was without hesitation, as well. Peter left his building in the clothes he was wearing and traveled the ten blocks difference to Michelle’s building. And, his mind was only on Ben-- how sick was he? And, oh wow, he was asking for Peter. Ben loved him, didn’t he? He loved him just as much as Peter loved him.

 

Peter texted Gwen that he might be a few minutes late, since there was a Ben emergency. Her reply read, ‘ _Take as long as you need!_ ’ However, he still felt the need to promise a quick, in and out situation where he’d go straight to dinner after.

 

When Michelle opened the door, her relieved face scanned his body. “Vomit doesn’t do good on a suit that expensive looking,” she hesitantly said.

 

“I have a date in half an hour,” Peter explained.

 

“Oh.” She moved out of the way so he could enter the home, and then closed the door behind him. “Well, Ben is in his room. He’s threw up in the middle of the night, and today has just been terrible for him. And all he wanted was to see you.” Michelle gave him a tired smile; she’d been there all day with a sick kid, of course she was tired.

 

Her hair had been up, at one point, but most of it was falling out of the holder. And she was wearing a baggy NYU sweatshirt, that she had borrowed from Peter one night, but he wasn’t expecting to get it back, as there was a patch of dried puke right on the letters. Michelle didn’t have enough time to change.

 

“How about I watch over him for a few minutes and you take some time to yourself?” Peter offered. He freed himself of his suit jacket and untightened his tie.

 

“Are you sure? What about your date?”

 

He shrugged and said, “A super quick few minutes. Gwen will understand if I’m a little late, anyways.”

 

“Yeah, okay,” Michelle smiled back. “I’ll take a two minute shower. You have no idea how fast you get when you know your baby might wake up soon.”

 

“I can only imagine,” Peter laughed. He hadn’t meant it to be a jab, but for a moment, her face fell.

 

Then, she turned around and walked into her room to grab her things.

 

Peter followed down the same hallway and turned into Ben’s room. He had Michelle’s laptop at his feet and a bucket on the floor next to his bed, and a clear sippy cup full of water that looked like it hadn’t been touched. Peter knocked on the doorframe, and groggily, Ben grinned and held out his arms for a hug.

 

“Papa, I’m sick,” he sadly informed his father.

 

Peter sat on the edge of the bed after embracing his son. “I know, mama told me. Have you been drinking water?”

 

Ben hesitated. Then nodded.

 

He slumped his shoulders and grabbed the water. “Then why is this full?”

 

“It was too cold?” Ben said, like a question.

 

Peter held the water out, and Ben put his lips to the nozzle and tilt his head back so he wouldn’t have to hold anything. When Peter put the sippy cup down, he asked, “There. Don’t you feel a bit better?”

 

He nodded. “Yes, papa.” He sunk back into the bed, his face pale, and he grasped onto one of Peter’s fingers and just… stared at it.

 

Peter slipped his shoes off and moved to lay down in the free space next to the wall. He threw his arm around his son and pulled him in tight, and pressed play on the computer by clicking the spacebar with his toe. “What are we watching?” he quietly asked.

 

“Mama’s favorite old movie. The girl is a mermaid.” Ben rested his head on Peter’s chest and closed his eyes.

 

“We used to watch this all the time,” Peter commented. “Your mama knows all the lyrics and almost all the dialogue, last I checked.” Michelle’s number one choice for movie nights was always _The Little Mermaid_ , even if they had just watched it the week before.

 

It made Peter happy that she still loved that movie. Michelle was still the same person; she was just older. And a mother.

 

Soon, she poked her head into the room. She was in fresh new clothes and her curly hair was wet. “How’s he doing?” Michelle asked.

 

“Did you know he lies about drinking water? He’s probably too dehydrated.” Peter stayed where he was, as Ben had fallen asleep.

 

“I know! You have to force it down his throat.” Michelle absentmindedly wandered over to the bed, and then make the decision to pick Ben up and to slide into the spot he was in. She placed Ben between the two of them, on their laps. “I love this movie,” she said. “Don’t you have a date to go to?”

 

Peter looked at her, his mouth slightly agape. “What’s a few more minutes?”

 

And the guilt didn’t hit him until later. It didn’t hit him, truly, until the movie ended, when he had checked his phone for the first time. And he saw that Gwen had texted him twenty times, that she wasn’t mad and that she understood but she wanted Peter to call her as soon as possible.

 

And when Michelle asked him what was wrong, and why his face looked contorted, Peter brushed it off. They weren’t in the right place to talk about relationship issues, he thought, so he told her to play another movie. Then, when she noticed how uncomfortable he looked, Michelle threw him a pair of sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. Peter was in the hall, changing, for only a second, and then he slinked back into the twin bed.

 

With Ben on their laps, watching his favorite childhood movie, Peter and Michelle shared a smile. This was how it was always meant to be. Their child asleep, them acting like a family-- the world just felt right to him. He felt safe and relaxed and as Michelle fell asleep on his shoulder first, he couldn’t believe how lucky he was.

 

The only thing keeping him back from a solid night’s sleep-- Gwen.

 

**MICHELLE**

 

She woke up with Peter’s arm around her, and both of her arms holding onto Ben.

 

They really slept in that cramped, tiny twin bed like that? Her laptop had been kicked to the floor--she really hoped it wasn’t broken--and Peter was snoring. Michelle didn’t remember him ever _snoring_. What she did remember, though, was how he was almost never able to sleep through the night. How he’d wake up in a cold sweat and in tears.

 

Peter looked calm. And his glow was natural, not fear based.

 

Michelle stretched out her legs and moved Ben’s onto Peter’s stomach, placing a kiss on his forehead when she was upright. (He was no longer warm, and he had slept through the night, so she was mostly confident that he was healthy again.) And, just because she had an urge to, Michelle lightly grazed her fingers against Peter’s cheek.

 

Her two beautiful boys.

 

She turned around and saw Peter’s dress clothes piled in a corner, and she was given a heavy reminder that Peter, still, wasn’t… he wasn’t her’s. And, if Michelle wanted Ben to have the relationship he deserved with his father, Peter would never be her’s.

 

Because, if they broke things off, and it _wasn’t_ amicable that time, and it was hateful and spiteful, Michelle would never be able to look at him again. They needed to do what was best for Ben. And that did not include them being a _them_.

 

And, Gwen Stacy was someone Michelle had come to like. They hadn’t hung out a lot, only once, and they were only alone for the thirty minutes when Peter went to get dessert, but Gwen was _funny_. And she was nice, and caring, and obviously had strong feelings for Peter. Michelle wouldn’t want to hurt Gwen like that. Even though, that was probably what happened the night before.

 

Peter always used to ditch her for Spider-Man, and she hated it. Now, as Michelle was coaching him out of that, he was ditching Gwen for her and Ben.

 

Michelle walked into the kitchen and debated whether or not she should make pancakes. She hardly knew how to make any food without burning the place down, so she decided otherwise and grabbed different kinds of cereal for Ben and Peter, for when they woke up. Cheerios. Froot Loops. Lucky Charms-- and if Michelle was remembering correctly, Lucky Charms were Peter’s favorite.

 

It was nine in the morning on a Sunday, and sunlight poured into her misshapen windows as Michelle anticipated Peter and Ben’s slumbers to be over. The apartment was quiet, way too quiet, since her mom was at her grandmother’s, so Michelle just had time to think.

 

Gwen could probably cook. She probably already had made Peter a pancake in breakfast in bed, with coffee in a cutely decorated thermos and hashbrowns on the side. And Gwen was probably patient, and didn’t act irrationally like Michelle, and didn’t think about waking Peter because she _missed_ him.

 

She had fallen asleep in his arms, and Michelle missed him. He was just down the hall.

 

And she really, really wanted him to be awake.

 

And as her urges took over and Michelle tiptoed down the hall, there was a knock at the door so soft she thought she had imagined it. She froze in her tracks, waiting to hear it again, and thirty seconds later, the knocks came back.

 

Michelle turned around, grasped onto the door handle, and swung it open. Gwen was on the other side holding a giant bowl in her arms. “Hey! You’re awake. I was worried it was too early.”

 

“Gwen? Did Peter--”

 

“Yeah, he gave me the address a week ago. He was going to take me to a bar one night after he left, and he wanted to meet outside. That never happened, but at least I got your address, right?” Gwen laughed, brushing off Peter’s absences like it wasn’t a big deal. “I, uh, I brought you some home made soup! For Ben, the poor guy.”

 

Michelle grabbed the bowl from Gwen’s arms and set it down on the kitchen table. Gwen remained in the doorway, rocking back and forth in her kitten heels. “You can come in, if you want,” Michelle told her.

 

“Right! Thanks.” Gwen only walked a few feet into the apartment before stopping, and started playing with the strap of her purse. “Is-- Is Peter here?”

 

“He’s asleep,” she replied, hiding her face with her hair.

 

“Did-- did he sleep in your--?”

 

Michelle aggressively shook her head and spat out, “No! No. Not in my bed. He slept in Ben’s bed. Well, we all kind of did, but it wasn’t--”

 

“Michelle,” Gwen stopped her. “It’s fine. My sister and her husband used to do that all the time with their first born. But in this situation, it’s different… I guess.”

 

“Do you want me to wake up Peter?” Michelle asked.

 

“Yes. What I have to say is-- is kind of urgent.” Gwen wasn’t looking at her, but was staring at a picture of the living room wall. Per Peter’s joking demands, Michelle hung a picture of the three of them at the zoo. Her mom grimaced every time she looks at it.

 

Gwen wasn’t exactly grimacing, but she was frowning.

 

“Are you going to break up with him?” Michelle blurted. “Because of last night?”

 

“Can you please get Peter, Michelle?” she repeated, slightly losing her temper.

 

So, that’s what Michelle did. She nudged Peter’s shoulders until he woke up, and his eyes bugged out of their sockets when she said that Gwen was here. In a hurry, Peter moved Ben off of him, effectively waking the little boy, grabbed his phone, and dashed into the living room.

 

“Hey, Gwen!” Peter cheered, anxiously. He was in Michelle’s pink scoop neck shirt that she never wore. “ _Gwen_. Wow, I am so--”

 

“Would you mind walking me home, Peter?” Gwen asked. _I want to be alone with you_ , was what she meant.

 

Peter looked back and forth between the two women. “Yeah, sure. Um, MJ, I’ll be back later. For my things.”

 

He excused himself for a minute to get his shoes. “I’m sorry, Gwen. If I did anything that hurt you,” Michelle choked out.

 

“You didn’t do anything. I promise. And, you can keep the bowl. I bought it after I thought I lost one of the same model. Well… I found it, so, yeah. Keep it.” Gwen formed a thin line with her lips and nodded. “I hope Ben enjoys the soup.”

 

Peter rushed out of the hallway again and rested his hand on Gwen’s lower back. She stepped away from him. “Let’s go,” she said. “Bye, Michelle.”

 

“Bye, Gwen.”

 

They disappeared into the hall, the last view of Peter’s face an apologetic stare.

 

For the rest of the day, Michelle stressed about what Gwen had to talk to Peter about. She tried distracting herself by taking Ben to McDonald’s for lunch, _his_ idea that she just obliged to, and by folding laundry that had been sitting in her bedroom for days. Peter had said he would be by later, but he never even texted her for an update.

 

Gwen had to be breaking up with him. She had that guilty look on her face. But, that’s also the look Michelle had when she found out she was--

 

Oh, god, what if Gwen was pregnant? What if Peter really was a total idiot when it came to sex, and Gwen was _pregnant_?

 

Michelle was going crazy. She needed Peter to text her back.

  
And after a whole day of driving herself mad with speculations and fear, and spoiling Ben to take her mind off of things, Peter texted her back. It was eleven fifteen p.m., and he said, ‘ _Please tell me you’re awake. I’m coming over_.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> didnt do my homework all day, only did this! if you guys have any direct questions you want to ask you can go to my curious cat (https://curiouscat.me/hannrlee) and as always you can leave comments here <3 thanks for reading! ilysm


	6. Chapter 6

**PETER**

 

Peter walked Gwen to her apartment in silence. Every time he tried to talk, she’d murmur something about wanting privacy, and it made his insides contort in fear. What was so bad that they couldn’t talk on a street that was only occupied by a few wanderers?

 

Gwen unlocked the door and walked inside, without a care that Peter was even behind her. She threw her keys on her coffee table and stood in the middle of her living room, hands on her hips, and a fading sense of confidence. “Can you sit down?” she asked.

 

“S-sure,” Peter stuttered. He nervously took a seat on her couch, and stared up to try to look her in the eyes.

 

“Peter,” she started, resting on her knees in front of him. “You are probably the best guy I’ve ever met.”

 

Oh, god. He knew where this was going. He’d seen enough movies to know how break up speeches started.

 

“You’re so kind to me, and so gentle, and you’ve made me realize what I really deserve. And I’ll always appreciate that. But-- but, damn it, Peter. You’re so  _ stupid _ .” Gwen placed her hands on his knees to hold his attention. “And I mean that in the nicest way possible.”

 

“How is that nice?” he whispered, shocked.

 

“I’ve seen the way you are with Michelle. You wish you were a family, you wish you were still with her, and-- and Peter, I get it, okay? Of course you’re going to feel that way. But, but I deserve-- I deserve someone who is man enough to admit what they actually feel.” Gwen wiped a tear off her cheek and took a shaky breath.

 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

 

She slumped her shoulders and threw her head back, groaning throughout. “That’s why you’re stupid, Peter. If you could see the way you talk about her, and how your face lights up when she calls you… Sometimes, I wonder if you were ever like that with me. If we were ever going to get to that stage.”

 

Peter grabbed onto her shoulders. “We  _ are _ at that stage. Gwen, I don’t know what to tell you, but all my feelings for MJ are gone.”

 

“Did you even try to show up last night?” she asked. “What was so pressing, and so urgent, that she couldn’t have taken care of him herself? I get wanting to see if he’s okay. But, you were there for hours. You all slept in the same bed. Did you even think about me?”

 

“ _ Yes _ . Of course I thought about you.”  _ For a few seconds _ , he reminded himself. And then, Gwen stared up at him with her big blue questioning eyes and he cracked. “I told MJ to take a shower, and that I’d watch over Ben while she did that. Then, he fell asleep on my chest and then MJ came in and sat down next to me and then  _ she _ fell asleep on my shoulder and I just--”

 

“You didn’t want to disturb her,” Gwen answered for him. “You are always thinking about her, Peter. If you’re in love with her, you need to tell me now.”

 

“Gwen--”

 

She cut him off. “No, Peter. There’s a difference between lingering feelings for the mother of your child and being in love with her. And, if you’re in love with her, that’s  _ fine _ . I’ll be okay.”

 

Peter thought back to all those times in high school when he would look at Michelle and think that she was the  _ one _ . The one he’d be with for the rest of his life, because they were so similar, and because she brought out a side to him he didn’t even know that he had, a side that enjoyed his life as Peter Parker. He thought about what it was like the first time he kissed Michelle, and the first time they had sex, and how Peter, to that day, swore that was the best he’d ever have. And every time he considered a touch of the skin, or a graze of the lips, his body set aflame. Just the thought.

 

And they weren’t the same anymore-- not at all, in fact, but Peter could still think of Michelle and smile. Which was crazy, because he should’ve hated her guts for what she did to him. Peter just couldn’t, not for the life of him.

 

And he wasn’t able to figure out why. Why couldn’t he hate the woman who robbed him of memories, and of love, and of five years of his son’s life?  _ Why _ ?

 

“I’m not,” he whispered.

 

“ _ Swear _ it. Swear that you don’t have feelings for her, and that there’s not a chance that you’ll just-- just be right back in her arms one day. Because I cannot just wait around for your to make a choice, Peter. I can’t sit in a restaurant for hours, alone, telling the waiter that  _ he’s coming _ and that he would text me if he wasn’t. And I’m not going to ruin your chances at having the family that you want.  _ If _ you want it.”

 

“I haven’t thought about her like that since-- since--”

 

“Do you promise, Peter?” Gwen gripped onto his knees, pleading and begging for him to not break her heart. “Say the words, and I’ll drop it. But I refuse to wake up one morning and be  _ that _ woman who got cheated on because she couldn’t see the signs.”

 

“I’d never cheat on you,” Peter said in disbelief. He started to reciprocate her tears.

 

She ran her hand through her hair and stood up, distancing herself from him. “I’m not saying you ever would, but-- if you  _ did _ , it’d be with her. And it’d be behind  _ my _ back.”

 

“So, what Gwen? Do you want me to stop talking to her? That’s impossible.” He was getting angry. If Peter was able to refute it and move on, by that point he already would have, but he wasn’t confident in his answer yet.

 

That was his driving force for his argument of  _ not _ being in love. Because when you’re in love with someone, you knew. You felt all those urges that came with being in love-- and they weren’t always sexual. You just wanted to hold them, and touch them, and do anything you could to be near them. And, you wanted to fall asleep in the same bed. And you wanted to raise a family with them.

 

And Peter… God, Peter really wanted to raise Ben alongside Michelle. He, also, because he never had any, wanted him to have siblings.

 

And as he was staring into Gwen’s eyes, waiting for her response, there was one thing he knew for certain-- they were never going to make it to that stage. No matter how hard Peter tried to convince Gwen otherwise, she knew it deep down in her heart what he truly felt.

 

“No, Peter,” she sighed. “All I want for you is to be happy. Out of every one that I know,  _ you _ deserve it the most. But, are you going to find that happiness with me, or with her?”

 

His silence was deafening.

 

And Gwen had all the confirmation she needed.

 

She rubbed her eyes with her hands and stiffened, adding in a smile towards him. “Go be happy, Peter. Go be with your family.”

 

He stood up and engulfed her in a hug. Gwen threw her arms around his shoulders and pulled him in tight, breathing him all in, and Peter wasn’t exactly clear what this hug was communicating. A thank you, gratefulness, admiration. It didn’t matter.

 

“I’ll see you at work?” she sniffed. He nodded. “Don’t skip out on our lunches again. I’m going to need updates, okay?”

 

“I’m sorry, Gwen.”

 

“Don’t be. Really, I’m okay. Now, go.” She laughed as she pushed him away and towards the door. “You have people to be with.”

 

After Peter left, he had no idea what to do next.

 

His instincts told him to go to Michelle’s, just to talk out their complex situation in depth, and normally, they never could figure anything out without fighting. And adding on Peter’s break-up, and Gwen’s supposed realization, he was convinced that if he went over there, it’d turn to hell. 

 

Peter just needed to clear his head. He needed to see the sun and breathe in air that wasn’t filtered, just so maybe, he could find out if Gwen was right or not.

 

So, he walked around for hours. Hours spent thinking about Michelle.

 

Eventually, after eating dinner at Subway, alone, he found himself just down the street from her apartment, and he texted her.

 

She responded, ‘ _ I’m awake. I’ll leave the door open for you _ .’

 

**MICHELLE**

 

Peter had been sitting in her apartment for an hour before he said anything other than “hi.”

 

Ben was already asleep, as his bed time was seven, but Peter snuck in his room to place a kiss on his forehead. Then, he walked back into the living room, and simply nodded his head when Michelle asked if he was okay. He stole the remote from her and turned on a random movie.

 

The quiet was eerie. Peter always had something to say, usually, unless something got in the way of his cheery life. Michelle didn’t want to push it, despite the  _ not knowing _ killing her.

 

“So,” she started during a commercial break. “What did Gwen say?”

 

“Ah, you know. What we said when we broke up,” Peter cleared his throat.

 

“B- _ break up _ ?” She was a terrible person. For a second, a smile she couldn’t contain spread across her face.  Then as quick as it appeared she shoved it down and sympathetically said, “Oh, Peter. I’m sorry. Why?”

 

“I haven’t been spending enough time with her. That, that I get. And then she said--” He stopped himself, craning his necks and distantly looked into her eyes. “Nah, nevermind.”

 

Michelle nudged his shoulder. “Tell me. There’s no judgement in the Jones home.” Peter rolled his eyes. “There’s no judgement from  _ this _ Jones. And, if it’s something that can be fixed, I’ll give you advice. Work your way back into Gwen Stacy’s life.”

 

He didn’t move, then hesitantly angled his face down. Oh, wow. He didn’t want to be with her anymore. “She said I wasn’t spending enough time with her. Between Spider-Man and work and Ben and… and you.”

 

“ _ Me _ ?”

 

“Yeah,  _ you _ . She mentioned you a lot, actually, MJ. She thinks I’m like… God, it’s stupid. She thinks I’m in love with you.” Peter rolled his eyes and reached forward, taking a long sip of his beer.

 

_ Stupid _ . Michelle’s heart fell. “Why does she think that?”

 

“The way I talk about you, I guess. And the way I am around you. I don’t know. She’s so convinced of it.” His voice was low. As if he was embarrassed.

 

“And-- it’s not true? Not that  _ I _ personally want to know. I’m just… checking.” 

 

“No, of course it’s not. And if it  _ were _ , would it even be the right thing?” Peter asked, with wide, inquisitive eyes.

 

Michelle shook her head. “If it were true, I would say forget about it. It’s not what’s right for Ben, and he’s more important than either of us.”

 

“Yeah, no,” he gulped. “Yeah, of course. Ben.”

 

Then, the movie came back on. The tension between them was unbearable, making Michelle’s skin crawl and making her mind fritz out. She kept checking her phone and bouncing her leg, and eventually she got so fed up that she excused herself to make popcorn.

 

And as she rested her head against the kitchen counter as a cool down--because shit, of course Peter didn’t love her, her mind was playing tricks on her and she was never getting him back-- he walked in without a word. Michelle straightened her back to look him in the eyes and gasped, “Hey. What are you--”

 

Peter took a step towards her and reached his hands out so they could rest on her hips. Then, he pulled her close, swiftly placing his lips against her’s as their bodies slammed together.

 

Their lips released, and Peter leaned his forehead against her’s. Michelle’s shock wore off in a matter of seconds, and when it did, all of her rules and rational thoughts went flying out the window. She wanted to be selfish for once. She wanted Peter, and she wasn’t able to deny it anymore.

 

Michelle kissed him, deeper than this first time. They were no longer people who were too worried about everything-- they were people who were in their own, little, self absorbed bubble.

 

Peter hitched her legs up and moved her backwards, placing her on the kitchen counter. His tongue slipped into her mouth, and Michelle released a moan that vibrated her entire body. 

 

In high school, he had different kinds of kissing. There was the soft kind, that was only applied when Michelle was crying or he was injured. There was his eager kisses, the one that lead up to sex, and there was  _ distracted _ kissing, when they were having sex, and he’d forget he had to do something with his mouth.

 

This, though, was a whole different kind. It wasn’t aggressive, but it was assertive. Peter’s hands gripped her thighs tightly as he leaned her head back against the cupboard, and if that was happening as an eighteen year old, he would’ve apologized when she hit her head. He would’ve asked if he was holding on too tight, and even when she would say no, Peter would loosen his grip anyways, losing some erotic appeal.

 

But when Michelle did hit her head, the only acknowledgement he gave was him moving down her neck, placing wet and sloppy kisses down it. She would look like a leopard tomorrow, but fuck it. Peter’s hot breath was sending her mind to places she needed to be in, instantly.

 

She pulled his hair and directed him back to her lips. When Michelle subconsciously wrapped her legs around his back, Peter lifted her up again with one hand. “Bedroom?” she gasped, out of breath. She felt him nod against her.

 

Michelle stuck out one hand to feel for the different doors. They passed Ben’s, the one with stickers and posters on it, and the one next to it should’ve been her’s. The anticipation of entering the room almost stopped her from grasping onto the doorframe, signifying to him to stop.

 

When they entered her bedroom, they crashed down onto her bed. Michelle bursted into a fit of giggles due to the incoordination, and Peter laughed against her bare shoulder. “We have to be quiet, okay?” he whispered.

 

“You know I’m not,” Michelle boldly replied.

 

She flipped him over so she was straddling him, and the first thing Michelle did was ride her hands up his abs. Her hands slipped under his shirt, and eventually she brought it over his head. Peter did the same, albeit stopping when he got to her bra. Suddenly, he asked, “Is it-- is it okay if--”

 

“Just do it, Parker.”

 

In one movement, Peter’s fingers undid her bra and tore it and her shirt off. As their kisses got more and more hungry, his hands cupped her breasts, and her hands traveled to the waistband on his sweatpants. 

 

Michelle pulled them down as much as she could without moving her position, and at that moment, she was fine with that. She was learning Peter’s new moves, memorizing how each kiss made her feel. 

 

Each one erased a day she spent crying over him. They were replacing the memories of all the guys she went through to forget about Peter. They made Michelle remember how it was him, and only him, who made her feel that special, and loved, and worthy of lust.

 

Peter froze suddenly, and a second later, Michelle’s mom walked into her room.

 

Before she could turn the light on, Peter spun Michelle over so she could cover herself. When brightness illuminated the room, Mrs. Jones could see Peter Parker, with his pants halfway down and his chest heaving, and her daughter, embarrassingly covering her bare chest.

 

Her mother immediately looked to Peter. “Out,” she demanded. “Get  _ out _ .”

 

“I--” Peter stuttered. He clambered around for his shirt, but her mom found it first.

 

She chucked it at him, and started scolding him. “If you think you can just defile my daughter again without any consequences--”

 

“ _ Mom _ ,” Michelle cut her off. “I’m twenty four years old! If I want to be defiled by Peter, I will.”

 

“Don’t act like this isn’t stupid, Michelle,” her mother snarled. “You think this is going to end well? You think I’d let you live here if you dated this  _ jackass _ ?”

 

Her mother’s face was reddening, and her stare into Peter’s soul deppened. He threw it on over his head and opened his mouth, but her mom shushed him. “Just go, Peter,” Michelle said in defeat. 

 

He didn’t bother in trying to stay. Peter waved goodbye and awkwardly stood up, then slid between the doorframe and her mother.

 

“Michelle, baby,” her mom groaned, “He’s just going to leave again and break your heart. And he’ll break that little boy’s heart even more. Start thinking with your head again.”

 

She left her room, shutting the lights off and quietly closing the door.

 

Michelle let go of her grip on her chest, relaxing into her soft bed, and the events washed over her. 

 

And soon, her sobs were too loud to possibly contain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> before yall yell at me to no end this is a big thing in the story thats v important dont hate me. talk to me on cc https://curiouscat.me/hannrlee <3 and thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

Peter had never been so humiliated before in his life.

 

And that was really saying something. He’d been caught in the act before, even with Michelle, and he had been unable to  _ perform _ once. Peter really thought that would never be topped. But, then Michelle’s mom bursted into the room, as Michelle’s hands were about to delve underneath his boxers, and he was stared at with such judgement and hate.

 

He understood-- really, he did. Peter had nights where he hated himself for ruining Michelle’s life. Her dreams of going to Stanford and being the most successful reporter of their generation were squashed as soon as Peter got his hands on her, and her mother knew that. However, was Michelle’s life  _ over _ ? No. She loved their little boy more than anything in the whole world.

 

Also, they were grown adults. They were twenty four, with a five year old child, and Peter had his own job and apartment. There was no reason for Mrs. Jones to be looking at them like they were scum for deciding to have sex, as if she had never had a moment of weakness.

 

That’s all it was--a moment of weakness. Peter’s emotions had overwhelmed him, and he couldn’t stop thinking about Michelle. Michelle kissing him, naked, underneath hin, with her legs hugging his body. And it was everything he remembered, and also so much better, and Peter…

 

Peter felt proud of himself. Not for making a move, which would’ve been acceptable, but because he  _ had _ her where he wanted her. He had her with her shirt off and moaning in his ear, and he was proud to be there.

 

Maybe that’s why it was so embarrassing for him. Because he was being selfish, since not even ten minutes before, Michelle had told him that a relationship between them wasn’t an option. They needed to do what was best for Ben. And when Peter heard that, he agreed wholeheartedly, and when he went home, he decided that was still the best thing. 

 

Peter wanted Michelle. God, he wanted her so bad. But, he backed out of her bedroom like a coward, being able to stand up to war criminals, but not angry mothers. And he was scared to pick up the phone and call her. Michelle would say that they couldn’t do that again, and it’d be weird and awkward the next time they saw each other.

 

What if, Peter thought, she changed her mind? What if she wanted to get back together? The possibility terrified him. If they got together again, and if it didn’t work out, they’d would never be able to get over it. For the next thirteen years, at the very least, Peter would have to see her at birthdays, and graduations, and remember how badly it had ended.

 

He didn’t want to do that. He didn’t want to hate Michelle until the day he died.

 

So, petrified, Peter didn’t return her calls for a week and a half. She’d spam his texts, demanding him to call her, because Ben missed his father. Eventually, she gave up, and one day dropped Ben off at May’s place. It was their neutral ground.

 

The day he finally got the courage to talk to her again, she offered to meet him at his place. Things were looking up for Peter, but two hours before Michelle was scheduled to show up, Gwen and Ned showed up with a case of beer and pleading smiles.

 

“Did you forget?” Gwen pouted. “It’s movie night.”

 

“ _ Back to the Future _ , dude. You chose it.” Ned breezed past him without an invitation.

 

Peter tried to kick them out, he did. But neither of them would budge, as they had both glued themselves to the couch already. And easily, he caved, making them promise to lock themselves in one of the rooms while he and Michelle talked.

 

Then, he sat down to enjoy the movie, and his anxiety about Michelle faded away. Peter had totally forgotten she was coming, so, he let Gwen answer the door.

 

_ Gwen _ answered the door. Peter didn’t get to see Michelle’s face, but he would’ve bet that it was coated in pain and betrayal. It probably looked like he had used her for what he wanted, and then ran back to the ex-girlfriend. 

 

It was Peter’s turn to spam her phone.

 

Day after day, Peter told her that he was  _ so _ sorry, and that he didn’t know what to say to her. He promised that Gwen was there only as a friend. Michelle responded once, the Friday evening four days after she came to his house. All she typed was,  _ Ben’s at May’s.  _

 

He called, and called, and left voicemail after voicemail saying it’s not what it looked like. Peter missed her with his whole being. 

 

He went to her apartment a few times, hoping she would answer the door. No one ever did, until a week later, when Mrs. Jones’ stare burned into him yet again. “Can’t you take a clue?” she hissed.

 

“I-- Hi, Mrs. Jones. Is Michelle here? We, uh, really need to talk.” Peter anxiously cracked his knuckles. She looked ready to break him in half.

 

“Do you think her life is a game?” Mrs. Jones ignored his question. “You’ve broken her heart so many times, I just wonder, is it humorous for you?”

 

“ _ No _ . God-- No, I love her. Can I please, please talk to her?” Once, Michelle told him that reconnecting reminded her of being teenagers again. He fully understood now.

 

“She’s not here. If you loved her, you wouldn’t be here. You should’ve stayed gone, because we were all doing fine before you came back.” Mrs. Jones went to close the door.

 

Peter caught it, slamming his hand against it, and it made a loud  _ thud _ . “Gone? What do you mean  _ gone _ ? I never left.”

 

“Sure. And my husband didn’t leave us for a girl fifteen years younger than him. You know what, Peter? You are so similar to him. You treat my daughter like shit and  _ left her _ while she was having  _ your _ baby. The good thing about him was that he never came back.”

 

Michelle--

 

Michelle told her mom that Peter  _ abandoned _ them? 

 

He was sick to his stomach, rage pumping through his veins. Michelle told her  _ what _ ?

 

“I never  _ left _ . And you know what? I’m here now. Get used to it, Mrs. Jones. Now where is she?” he said through his teeth.

 

“Who knows? Last I heard she was at the library using their internet to look at real estate back in California. She’s taking my advice, and thinking of moving back.” Peter’s heart fell to his stomach, and his hand fell from the door. “It was so nice talking to you, Peter.”

 

She slammed the door in his face.

 

Michelle was moving back to California?

 

She told her mom that Peter was like her father?

 

What was she planning to do with Ben?

 

If he wanted to, Peter could’ve kicked the door down and demanded answers. He could’ve, actually, thrown Michelle’s mom through the wall and force her to take it all back and admit she was lying. But, god, it was so crazy-- Peter believed her. She was telling the truth, wasn’t she?

 

He wiped away the tears that were forming and turned to walk back to the exit. When Peter picked his head up, Michelle was standing there, groceries in hand. “H-hey, Peter,” she croaked.

 

In an instant, Peter was screaming.

 

“Your  _ father _ ?” he yelled. “You compared me to your  _ father _ ? The man who used to get drunk and tell you how worthless you are? The one that made you cry yourself to sleep in my arms? The one who left you high and dry and almost forced you to live with me?” His face was red, as he was hardly breathing.

 

“Peter--” She took a step backwards away from him.

 

“I just want to be clear, MJ. You compared me to your worthless, shitbag, dickhead father who left your mom for another woman? When you never told me about Ben in the first place? When you waited six  _ fucking _ years to tell me that I have a kid that I seemingly abandoned?” He was practically in her face yelling profanities, and Peter didn’t have the control to stop himself. Not anymore.

 

Michelle started crying. “I- I didn’t know what to do, Peter. You were so happy. You were going to NYU, a-and Stark had practically promised you a job. And all you crime fighting shit just scared me  _ so much _ , and my mom was yelling at me day after day and I couldn’t take it anymore. I’m so sorry.”

 

“You better be.” She jerked back at Peter’s response. It was so unlike him to be vindictive and harsh, and Peter knew it. “I would’ve made it work, MJ. I thought I was  _ making _ it work. And now you’re just, what, moving back? Because we messed up?”

 

“E-excuse me?”

 

“Your mom told me you’re moving back to California. Really, MJ?” His anger bubbled up in his chest, ready to burst, and Peter said something he’d later regret. “I can’t believe  _ you _ are the mother of my child.”

 

Her jaw dropped.

 

“What the hell does that mean?” she demanded.

 

“It means you are quite possibly the worst person to deal with these things. You are so immature, you run away at any sign of difficulty! A real adult would stick around, MJ.” He also meant she was terrible, and infuriating, and if he wasn’t still in love with her he would’ve screamed it in her face.

 

“ _ I’m _ immature? For five years, I have been taking care of  _ my _ son. I didn’t get parties, I’ve never been so drunk that I forgot what I did the night before, because my mom was too busy working her ass off to help out at home. I am more of an adult than you will ever be.” Michelle was standing tall now, her tears not affecting her demeanor, and they were at a stalemate. Who would crumble first?

 

“Our child. And, at those parties were I was getting wasted, it would’ve been really nice to know about him. That way I could toast to you while I was there.” Peter paused, looking at her with nothing but rage. “You know what, MJ? I am  _ nothing _ like your father. And you’ll have to kill me if you want me out of Ben’s life.”

 

“Gladly,” she dryly whispered. 

 

Michelle was the first to break. She pushed pass him, ramming her shoulder into his, and didn’t even finish unlocking the door before weeping.

 

Peter walked out of the building, and it hadn’t yet hit him how he shouldn’t be making decisions in that state. The thing in his mind was what Otto had said, weeks ago, when Peter first told him about Michelle and Ben.  _ Custody _ . He’d mentioned it a few times throughout the weeks, and at that moment, with the idea of Michelle moving to California and taking Ben away from him, suing for custody sounded like a really good idea.

 

Peter dialed Otto’s number, and when he answered, he asked for more information about gaining full custody. 

 

**MICHELLE**

 

Once inside, she dropped the groceries to her feet and slumped against the door, a pool of tears already collecting.

 

Her limbs felt numb. Peter had never looked at her like that before. Peter had never talked to her like that, with so much hate and rage that wasn’t even possible for a Parker. Michelle could hardly tell if there was any feelings for her left at all behind that gaze.

 

And what was she, really, if she didn’t have Peter’s support?

 

Even all those years in California, Michelle would feel warm inside thinking of how Peter still cared for her. They mutually broke up, and he’d never had a hateful moment directed towards her in their lives. She had never so desperately wanted to go back to the time where she and Peter didn’t even see each other.

 

Because now,  _ now _ he hated her.  _ Now _ their whole past had been tarnished, because there’d never be a moment that Michelle wouldn’t think of Peter and start to cry.

 

“Oh sweetheart,” her mom cooed. She sat down on the floor next to her and brought her in for a hug. “We don’t need him. We’ve never needed anyone but each other.” She stroked Michelle’s hair calmingly, and placed a kiss on her daughter’s forehead.

 

Michelle looked over to her mother, her face slowly scrunching up in disgust. “Get  _ off _ of me,” she slurred, rolling her shoulders violently. She stood up and etched away from her mother. “You told Peter I was moving to  _ California _ ? When did I say that?”

 

“Last night,” she scowled. “You were sad because of him,  _ again _ , and I told you maybe it’d be better to move back. And you agreed!” 

 

“No. No, no I didn’t.  _ I _ said, ‘Huh, maybe,’ to get you off of my fucking back, mom. Day after day you shit talk Peter, even when he isn’t here, and yesterday I was sick of it. I am not moving back to California, it never even crossed my mind, so why the hell would you tell him that?” MJ tugged her fingers through her hair and walked deeper into her house. She felt her chest tightening, her lungs compacting, making it harder and harder to breathe.

 

Her mother followed. “Because it’s the best thing to do, Michelle. If you go to California, you and Ben will have a much better life than you would if you stayed. You know that one day, Peter is just gonna pack up and leave again. Don’t be stupid.” That stupid line. 

 

_ Don’t be stupid, Michelle, give him up for adoption.  _

 

_ Michelle, don’t be stupid, I think I know how to raise a baby. _

 

_ Peter is just going to ruin your life again, don’t be stupid. _

 

“Peter would follow us, mom. He would follow Ben to the ends of the fucking Earth--”

 

“Then why did he leave? Why did he say he wanted nothing to do with you?” she demanded. Michelle kept looking down the hall, expecting Ben’s little head to peak out of his bedroom door.

 

“He didn’t leave, mom,” Michelle blurted. She gripped onto the kitchen counter for balance. “He didn’t leave. I never told him I was pregnant, okay?  _ I _ am the bad guy here,  _ I  _ robbed our son of having a father, that was all me.”

 

Her mother’s face fell.

 

She backed away, and for the second time that day, Michelle was looked at with disgust. “You-- You know what, we’re done here. I’m sleeping at grandma’s tonight.”

 

She grabbed her purse, slipped on her jacket, and without looking at Michelle, left their apartment.

 

All Michelle wanted was to keep her son safe. She thought she was doing that by keeping Peter away, and every time she read a new article about Spider-Man saving the city from a chemical attack or from a giant green goblin, she was sure she was doing the right thing. And her mom didn’t know Peter was Spider-Man, so what good was it to tell her about Peter’s dangerous life?

 

The only two people who had ever treated her right, even for a fraction of a second, couldn’t stand to look at her. Michelle realized that, as she sunk back to the floor, her breath getting caught in her swollen throat, her pain and suffering would’ve been so much easier if she had just told the truth.

 

Her crying disrupted her attempts at steady breathing. Michelle didn’t have a job, she didn’t have a college degree, what was she going to do if her mom kicked her out? She’d be homeless with a five year old. No, wait-- Peter would take the five year old, and would leave her on the side of the street to rot.

 

That’s what she would’ve done.

 

Michelle heard small footsteps coming her way, but didn’t jerk in surprise when Ben put his hands on her arm. “Mama?” he asked, scared. “Mama, why are you crying?”

 

“I’m not, baby,” Michelle lied. “I- I just have something in my eye.” She wiped her eyes free of tears and grinned at her son when she was done. “See? I’m fine.”

 

He smiled back. It almost hurt her how much he looked like Peter. Ben kneeled on the floor next to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I love you, mama.”

 

She felt all her emotions come rushing back to her, and Michelle tried her hardest to shove everything down. Ben couldn’t see her cry. He just couldn’t. He’d get too scared, and would start crying, as well, and Michelle didn’t want that to happen.

 

Ben deserved so much more than her.

 

“I love you, too, baby.” Michelle gently moved hair out of his face.

 

He laid down next to her and placed his head on her chest. “It’s nap time,” he whispered.

 

Michelle wrapped her arms around her son, holding him so tightly that she was scared he would freak out and hate her as well. “Yeah, it is,” she agreed.

 

Her mother wouldn’t come back to the apartment for two days, and would hardly look at Michelle until two days after that. She didn’t press for information, but heavily stressed how  _ disappointed _ she was. As if Michelle needed to hear that more.

 

And Peter, well, he went silent. He made Ben inform her on what days he was free,  and sometimes Ben would forget to tell her, so Peter would make May text Michelle that Peter was  _ waiting _ . And he’d always lock himself in a different room when May answered the door, making May say, “I’m sorry. Peter’s, well, he’s not really in the mood to talk to you.”

 

If had only went on for a week, Michelle would’ve been okay with that. However, it was now late August, eight days out from Ben’s first day of school, and a fifteen days after their fight, and Peter hadn’t said a damn word to her the whole time. She wanted to get over it, and to find a compromise that didn’t include using their son as a homing pigeon.

 

Peter didn’t want a civil conversation with her.

 

Michelle figured that out one day when a man had served her papers. Instantly, she knew what it was. She knew what Peter had done, and her fear was only confirmed when she opened up the package.

 

Peter was suing for custody.

 

And his lawyers at signed it, and wouldn’t you know it, when Michelle looked them up, they were Tony fucking Stark’s personal lawyers. Michelle wasn’t going to be able to compete with that.

 

Her son was going to be ripped right out of her arms, wasn’t he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn yall these characters are all so unlikable im sorry 🤢 if you wanna yell at me take it to my cc <3 https://curiouscat.me/hannrlee


	8. Chapter 8

Michelle, twenty minutes later, found herself outside of Stark Industries.

 

She had her visitor’s pass in her fist, staring up at the huge building, and was deciding if this was a good idea or not. At first, Michelle had never been so confident. She tore through the streets of New York with one objective on her mind-- to give Peter Parker the verbal beating he deserved. Because, how  _ dare _ he? He could hardly be on time for dinner, so a  _ court case _ ? There was no way Peter actually thought this was a good idea.

 

But, he had Tony Stark’s lawyers. They could talk their way out of anything, and if Michelle just barged in there screaming profanities, they’d have evidence that she was  _ unfit _ and _ violent _ .

 

She almost turned around and left a few times. And the last time, the time she really decided to leave, a man approached her. He was just an inch taller than her, stocky, and wore glasses that looked more like chemistry goggles. He looked kind of familiar, but Michelle couldn’t remember who he was.

 

“Michelle?” he greeted. “You’re Michelle Jones, right? Gir-- uh, friend of Peter Parker?”

 

“Depends on what you define a friend as,” bitterness rolled off her tongue.

 

“Oh. Well, I’m Otto Octavius. Peter calls me Doc, I’m, uh, his supervisor. He’s told me a lot about you.” Otto’s eyebrows rose when he glazed over the words  _ a lot _ . “Are you supposed to be meeting him?”

 

She glanced anxiously all around her, glancing over the two coffee cups in Otto’s hands, and landing on her exposed toenails that were painted orange. A messy orange, done by a little boy with the same coordination as his father.  _ Michelle’s _ little boy. The one she raised, the one she created in her own body, the only one who would love her unconditionally.

 

Michelle confidently faced Otto. “Yeah, actually. But I’m a little early, would you mind if I came up with you?”

 

Otto smiled back triumphitley, like he had won, or was winning. Maybe it’s just the way he was, Michelle didn’t know the man, but she found it to be odd. “No problem, Michelle.”

 

She followed closely behind him, sneaking through security without issues. As they waited in the elevator, Michelle was slowly gaining back her rageful emotions. The orange nail polish haunted her, screaming at her,  _ my kid, my kid, Ben is  _ my _ kid _ .

 

When the elevator doors open, Otto turned left to walk down the hallway, then entered a room, checking over his shoulder to make sure Michelle was still behind him. The room was full of half finished projects and multiple whiteboards, but was only occupied by one other person. Peter.

 

“This is the high-security room. Only the most trusted come in here,” Otto whispered.

 

It caught Peter’s attention. He shot up from the desk and knocked his chair over, and Michelle watched as his face reddened. “M-MJ,” he stuttered. “Why are you here?”

 

“Why do you think?” she hissed back, approaching closer to him. She dug the papers out of her purse and slammed it against his chest. “You’re suing for  _ custody _ ?”

 

“Can we talk about this somewhere else?” Peter asked. He stared at Otto out of the corner of his eye.

 

Michelle ignored his question. “You need to grow up, Peter, and learn to talk without Tony Stark backing you. Raising a child is more difficult than you think it is! You need to be on time to appointments, and you need to be there all day, and--”

 

“When was I supposed to learn that? When you supervised every visit I had with him, or the five years you were in California?” he fought back, and behind them, Michelle could hear Otto shuffling his feet.

 

“You’ve had a straight  _ month _ alone with him. And he tells me everything, you know, about how papa had to drop him off at Grandma May’s for a few hours at a time.” Five year olds had no filters, a fact she was happy about in that moment.

 

Peter was overly aware of his supervisor, so he lowered his voice. “MJ, you  _ know _ what I do is important.”

 

“If it’s more important than Ben, you need to stop being such a dick, and drop this. Because I swear to God, Peter. If you take my son away from me, the whole world is going to know your secret.” She was staring intensely into his eyes, hardly blinking, and Michelle was completely, and totally telling the truth.

 

He scoffed in disbelief, “Then the whole world would know who my family is. You wouldn’t.”

 

“ _ Don’t _ try me,” MJ threatened. She started backing away from him, her eyes steady on his face. “I’ll have my lawyer contact your’s-- oh, wait.  _ Stark’s _ lawyers. I keep forgetting that you’re practically a trust fund baby.”

 

Peter bit his tongue as he watched her walk away from him. Michelle passed Otto, who was still holding the coffees. She pointed to the one with Peter’s name on it.

 

“Have it,” Otto quivered. “Peter doesn’t need any more caffeine.”

 

“It was nice meeting you,” Michelle said, taking Peter’s coffee and sprinting out the door.

 

There was so much more Michelle wished she could’ve said. So much stuck in the back of her mind that she just couldn’t find the strength to say. Because, honestly, all Michelle wanted to do now was pass out. She was light headed, and her stomach was caving in, and as Michelle took a sip of Peter’s espresso, she crashed into the elevator.

 

She didn’t even see Gwen Stacy standing there. “M-Michelle?” she gasped.

 

Oh,  _ God _ . Of all the people that worked in Stark Industries, Gwen had to be the only other person in this elevator. Michelle didn’t believe Peter that she was just there for a movie night. At least, not anymore, she didn’t.

 

“Hey, Gwen,” Michelle boringly replied.

 

Gwen pointed to her coffee cup. “Visiting Peter?” she asked. 

 

She had such a trusting face, and such trusting eyes, that it really made Michelle want to spill her guts in an instant. And Michelle didn’t have any friends to talk to (a situation she thought she’d never be in again after reuniting with Peter). And she really, really wanted someone to talk to.

 

Michelle would tell herself that she would’ve told any random stranger on the street, and it just happened to be Gwen. She still had a bitter taste in her mouth when it came to the woman, for a reason that was nothing if not petty, so Michelle needed to reason with herself.

 

“Peter’s suing me for custody,” she blurted.

 

“He’s-- he’s  _ what _ ?” Gwen’s jaw dropped. “Wow. He didn’t tell me about this.”

 

“Was he supposed to? What, are you two still--” Michelle’s accusation landed flatly, as Gwen started shaking her head rapidly.

 

“No! Peter and I are not doing anything in a sexual manner anymore. Not that we did many sexual things-- Uh, anyways, he and I are strictly friends and co-workers. And as his friend, he last told me that you guys got into a fight. But, it didn’t sound  _ that _ big.” Her face was flushed, and with the clipboard she held against her chest, she started fanning herself. “I can’t believe Peter is actually doing this. It’s so… unlike him.”

 

“Peter  _ hates _ me,” Michelle cried out.

 

“Peter doesn’t hate anyone.”

 

“No. He can’t stand me. Gwen, I-- I don’t know what I’m going to do if he takes Ben away from me.” She started to get choked up, aiming her head up so she could breathe easier. She wasn’t going to cry in that elevator.  _ She wasn’t going to cry in that elevator _ .

 

The doors opened on Gwen’s floor, but she pulled Michelle into a hug instead of walking out. “You should call him tonight, I’m sure-- I’m sure he’ll realize that this is a mistake. You’re a great mom, Michelle. No judge would take Ben away from you.”

 

“You don’t know that,” she said, feeling comforted by Gwen’s warmth.

 

“I-- I’ll get Peter to drop it. Or Ned will get him to do it, and if we have to, we’ll get the big guns out:  _ May _ . Everything will be okay.” Gwen gave a last squeeze and then stepped back.

 

“I always thought Peter would-- I thought he--” 

 

The elevator landed on the ground floor.

 

Michelle wiped her face and gave Gwen a smile. “I’ll see you around,” she promised, swiftly exiting the small container.

 

“Michelle--” Gwen shouted after her. She didn’t turn around.

 

The lobby of Stark Industries was large, filled with random holograms and monuments of its history, and for eleven A.M. on a Monday, it was surprisingly empty. Still, Michelle felt as if the walls were closing in on her. What had she done? What had her life became? She should’ve went to college, she should’ve had a job, because now she had  _ nothing _ to prevent her boy from being taken away from her.

 

Peter always felt  _ there _ . When she was in California, Michelle could practically hear his encouraging comments, that were filled with nothing but love, when her life was at her lowest. She could always think about him as this glowing beacon of hope that would never, ever go out.

 

It was out now. And it felt like that light was never going to be relit.

 

And Michelle just didn’t know how to handle that information.

 

**PETER**

 

The way Michelle looked at him ripped his heart out.

 

Peter’s foot bounced uncontrollably underneath the table, his entire body shaking with it, and he’d never felt worse in his entire life. Maybe he overreacted. There was still time for him to drop it, right? Right?

 

“So, that was the famous MJ, huh?” Otto asked. He rolled his chair in front of Peter’s desk, where projects demanded his attention. Projects Peter hadn’t touched in weeks, because he’d been so distracted by his constant anxiety over Ben.

 

“Yeah, that’s her.” Peter tapped his pencil on his paper. “She’s not usually so  _ scary _ like that.”

 

“That’s, uh, that’s usually what happens when you sue someone. But, hey,” Otto encouragingly slapped his hand onto Peter’s knee, “I’m proud of you, kid. For standing up like that. Ben is just as much your kid as her’s.”

 

“I-- I know, Doc. It’s just… Maybe full custody isn’t the right path. Maybe we just need to figure out an even split, without all the courts and shit.” He filed it without thinking, because he had never been that mad before. But,  _ God _ , Peter wanted to go back in time so badly.

 

Otto exhaled and leaned back. “If that’s what you think is right, Peter. But, don’t you think you deserve more than a weekend and Wednesday nights? I’ve seen the way you talk about the kid-- you deserve it.”

 

“I don’t know. Well, I  _ want _ to be with him all the time, but MJ is just as important to me as he is. This was a mistake, Doc,” Peter admitted.

 

Otto stood up with a disapproving sigh. “If she felt the same way about you,” he slurred, “then she wouldn’t have hid Ben from you. What was her reasoning? You have a good job, you attended a good school, and you’re not…  _ dangerous _ . So, why did she let five years pass before letting you meet your son?”

 

For some reason, Peter’s senses were on high alert.

 

He was always scared that the entire world knew his secret, because MJ knew before he even told her, so how well was he covering it up? Otto wasn’t a terrifying man, either, he once jumped onto a stool to get away from a centipede, and Peter trusted him. One day, if Otto didn’t already know, Peter could see himself telling him everything.

 

But, the way the fluorescent lights avoided his face completely and the stare that was hidden behind Otto’s glasses sent shivers down Peter’s spine. His mouth went dry, and his hands became clammy.

 

“No, no, I’m not dangerous. Of course not. She just-- she wanted me to have a life.”

 

“And that makes it okay?” Otto spat. “Peter, you need just compensation.”

 

“I don’t want  _ just compensation _ . I just don’t want her to run out of New York without telling me where she’s fucking going!” He ran his fingers through his hair, closed his eyes, and steadied his breaths. He needed to calm down. “S-sorry, Doc. I’m just so stressed.”

 

Otto grinned. “It’s alright, Peter. Just, tell me this: who would you rather have around, Ben, your son, or MJ.” He sneered when he said Michelle’s name.

 

“Ben,” Peter blurted, his fatherly instincts taking over.

 

“Then do what is best for Ben. And, a boy needs his father.” Otto nudged the untouched scrap metal on Peter’s desk. “Maybe you should get started on some of this stuff. It’d be a shame if you got too overwhelmed, with all that’s going on.”

 

He walked past Peter, and disappeared into one of the back rooms.

 

He was right. Peter needed to catch up on so much work, he probably wouldn’t make it home until late. And, since Ben was coming over the next day, Peter would have to do his Spider patrolling when he got home, and with the increase of robberies over the last week, Peter probably wasn’t going to get any rest.

 

So, that meant, he’d have an energetic five year old on his hands, and would be running on nothing more than an hour.

 

He could handle it. He  _ had _ to be able to handle it. Tony was coming back into town and he wanted to have dinner with them all--Peter, Ben, and May--and wouldn’t take no for an answer, as he was paying for all of Peter’s legal fees. (Michelle was right; he was a trust fund baby.) Peter missed Tony like crazy, and maybe he was going off the rails because Tony wasn’t around, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be excited.

 

Peter needed a long, long nap, and a stomach full of Tony’s lasagna, and he needed Ben with him. And--if he was being honest--he wanted Michelle in his arms. Cuddled against him, her head against his chest, and sleeping blissfully like they always did on those long summer nights.

 

Peter wasn’t making anything better for himself. He should just pick up the phone, call the lawyers, and tell them he made a big, huge mistake.

 

There was a knock on the door because, of course there needed to be another distraction. When he opened it, Gwen was on the other side. “You’re an asshole,” she greeted.

 

“Wow, thanks. Really what I need to be hearing right now,  _ friend _ .” 

 

“I only have,” she checked her watch, “About a minute before I need to go back to work, but is there something wrong with you? Like, in the head? I thought you were in love with her.”

 

“W-- I-- How do you even know?”

 

“She was crying in the elevator. Now answer my question.” Gwen was lacking in height, but she was staring at him with an unmatched intensity, and it scared him.

 

“Well,  _ yeah _ . Yeah, I am. But, she threatened to take Ben back to California! What am I supposed to do?”

 

Gwen scoffed and waved her arms dramatically. “I don’t know, go with her? Raise your child  _ together _ and not by inflicting the worst pain possible? Beg her to take you back because seriously, Peter,  _ you _ are not as desirable as you think, if you act like this.”

 

“I know that, thank you. Can everyone just give me some space to think? You two are screaming at me and Otto is telling me--” He cut himself off once he observed Gwen’s disgusted expression. “ _ What _ ?”

 

“Otto. You’re listening to Otto. The same man who once walked in here wearing one loafer and one flip flop?” 

 

“And what does that mean?” Peter asked. He felt personally insulted. He trusted and respected Otto on a whole different level than just co-workers.

 

“It means he’s crazy. Please don’t act like  _ he _ is the person to go to for child care advice, when--” Gwen checked her watch again, slumped her shoulders, and groaned. “I have to go work. Don’t call me until you have your shit sorted.”

 

Gwen stormed away from him, leaving Peter to stew in his loneliness. And, to make matters even worse, Ned texted him, basically calling off their weekend plans by saying, ‘ _ Screw you _ .’ He didn’t need to ask why.

 

During his lunch break, he called his attorney's’ office, but apparently they weren’t available. And, as the receptionist told him, they would not be back in the office until the next afternoon. Great.

 

Peter didn’t leave the office until seven p.m. Doc told him to finish  _ something _ , and as his skin itched from entrapment, Peter decided to fix the water fountain so he didn’t have to lie the next morning.

 

He changed on the roof, using the hatch Tony showed him, and once his street clothes were off and his suit was on, Peter leaped off the building.  He threw his hand out and pressed against his wrist, making webs shoot out and attach to a different skyscraper. He was yanked in that direction. Then, he followed down that street for a while.

 

Swinging through the hair was clearing his mind.  _ All _ he wanted was for Michelle not to take Ben out of New York without him. Full custody was rash, and at the time he filed it, Peter was still brimming with rage. Maybe he should make his way to town hall, or wherever things like this were done, and find a way to just-- make it disappear. That’d work, right?

 

God, he had no clue what he was doing. Peter wished he would just grow up already and know all the secrets of the universe.

 

Suddenly, one of Peter’s webs detached from the wall. It made him crash to the ground, but he tucked and rolled until his feet found the floor, and he slid backwards. The first thing he heard was giant metal clanking. It got closer to him, eventually making the whole ground shake.

 

There was a loud metal thud that landed in front of Peter’s feet. His eyes widened, and he saw a shape he could only describe as a metalic claw. It reminded him of how, over a month ago, he had Michelle patch him up after a similar shape had been dug into his skin.

 

“Claw machine,” Peter laughed, looking up at the person in front of him. A mask concealed his identity, and he had seven other arms attached to him like the one that was threatening Peter’s feet. “I’ve been looking for you for weeks.”

 

His foes never had a habit of talking back, but this one didn’t even hesitate before swinging one of the arms, trying to grab a hold of Peter’s body. But, he dove out of the way. He brought himself to perch on one of the lower roofs. “Too slow,” Peter remarked. 

 

When he tried webbing his legs up, however, he didn’t take into account how eight extra limbs were really  _ too _ many limbs. Peter was distracted with the ones in front, and didn’t dodge early enough to miss the one that knocked him so far backwards all the air left his lungs.

 

“ _ Too slow _ ,” the voice mocked, deepened by a modulator.

 

With that, the metal-octopus-claw-machine-man retreated. Apparently, all he wanted was to scare Peter.

 

This city was getting more and more complicated, just as his life was doing the same. Because of course it was.

 

He needed to get over himself. Peter could handle this, just like he had handled everything else. When his attorneys were available, first thing, he’d figure something out. And Claw Machine wouldn’t be around for long.

 

Peter just needed a little rest.

 

And, his sleep deprivation overtaking him, Peter passed out on that rooftop. His life was totally not a mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! hope this chapter didnt blow <3 yell at me here or on my cc (https://curiouscat.me/hannrlee) <3


	9. Chapter 9

**PETER** **  
  
**

He hated lawyers. Especially the ones Tony employed.

 

They weren’t out for Peter’s best interests, only themselves and if there was a check being deposited in their name every week. Peter had called them, saying he wanted to see if he could just call it all off, and they said, “You should really think about this, Mr. Parker. Just take a day or two to calm down and to consider what could happen if you won.”

 

Corrupt; that was one word Peter used to describe them.

 

He walked down his street towards May’s apartment, dialing MJ’s number to update her on his decision. She probably wouldn’t answer-- she probably hated him, with good reason, because Peter was a dipshit who never thought things through. He shouldn’t have acted that fast. And, if MJ had picked up, she would’ve heard that.

 

However, Peter got her voicemail. He left a message. “Uh… hey, MJ. Look, I know you’re dropping Ben off later at May’s, but if you could call be back soon, I’d-- I’d appreciate it. Thanks.”

 

He didn’t know if he could fuck up his life anymore. Maybe he needed a break, like a vacation, and maybe in Hawaii, and the three of them--Ben, Peter, and Michelle-- would all go and it’d just heal everything. Peter so desperately wanted that hypothetical Hawaiian vacation, but knew Michelle wouldn’t be going anywhere with him.

 

He has this annoying pain all over his back as he turns down a different street. It’s a dreadful pain, like he’s laying on glass, and Peter had been experiencing throughout the day. Usually, his scrapes and bruises went away. But when that mechanical octopus guy had hurled him into another dimension, Peter’s comfort in knowing he’d be healed soon disappeared. And it didn’t help that he had been in the air all day, trying to look for any clue of him. It seemed that he was only going to be found when he wanted to beat up Spider-Man.

 

That’s how these things always went.

 

Peter knew he was on May’s street when he saw Tony’s car parked out front. He hadn’t seen Tony in months, and before that it was at Peter’s graduation from college, and before  _ that _ it was just small scattered interactions. All somewhat empty, lacking in emotion, but Peter didn’t blame Tony; Tony couldn’t face himself for a long time after Pepper died. At least he didn’t push Peter away completely.

 

They would talk over the phone, but it was always so much different being in Tony Stark’s presence. Everything had a different meaning and a different feeling, like his words carried so much more weight. Tony was excited for Peter about Ben, but his voice sounded so distant when he said congratulations. Now, as Peter began to unlock May’s door, he was anticipating Tony’s real thoughts.

 

Tony and May were standing in the kitchen, with Tony making dinner. May was peeking her head over his shoulder, asking, “Are you sure that’s how you do it? Because I’ve never done it like that.”

 

“May Parker, you burn every meal you make. Get out of the kitchen,” Tony directed.

 

May slumped her shoulders and turned around, smiling when she saw her nephew. “Peter! You made it,” she warmly said, crossing the room to bring him in for a hug.

 

“Of course I did.” Peter wrapped one arm around his aunt’s back. When they seperated, he gave her the flowers he held in his other hand. “Sorry I haven’t been around much.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” May promised, taking the flowers from his grasp and walking away with them to put in a vase.

 

Tony wandered over to Peter. He was wearing one of May’s aprons that she had bought years ago, and had never used. “Where’s kid junior?” Tony smirked, running his hands across the apron.

 

“MJ’s dropping him off soon. Uh, how are you? You look--” He looked the same as he always did, and Peter didn’t know how to phrase it.

 

“ _ I  _ look old. You know, you’re getting there, too. Must come with being a parent.”

 

“He’s right!” May chimed in. “I used to be young and hot and then I became your guardian, and look at me now.”

 

Tony stifled a laugh. He spread his arms out and pulled Peter in for a hug. “I missed you, kid.”

 

“I missed you, too, Tony,” Peter said.

 

Soon after, Peter and May sat down at the table while they watched Tony cook. They talked about Ben, mainly, as if that was the only thing going on in Peter’s life. He never really understood how parents could  _ only _ talk about their children--he got it now. Peter boasted about Ben non-stop, telling funny stories and showing pictures and he felt a sense of pride. May was watching him the whole time, with that same feeling hiding behind her smile.

 

Then, there was a knock on the door. Peter stayed in the chair, wanting to hide himself from Michelle’s wrathful glares, as both Tony and May flocked to answer. 

 

May opened the door, and stumbled backwards when Ben latched himself onto her legs. “Grandma!” he cheered. He had on his backpack--Spider-Man themed, of course--that Peter had bought for him for school. It was currently filed with his clothes. 

 

She hugged back, lifting Ben into the air. Tony only glanced at him for a second before turning his attention to Michelle. Peter could only see parts of her uncontrollable hair and the side of her face from where he was sitting. “Ms. Jones,” Tony greeted. “It’s been a while.”

 

Michelle never liked Tony in high school. She said he was irresponsible for dragging Peter to Berlin, and would drag his name whenever she got the chance. “Stark,” she responded, the ‘K’ hard in the back of her throat. “I hope you know that my son won’t be going on any dangerous missions with you.”

 

Tony chuckled, “None that you’ll know about.” He glanced over his shoulder at Peter, and Peter knew that look. Tony was about to say something stupid. “Would you like to eat dinner with us, Ms. Jones?”

 

“Tony--” Peter blurted. Tony shushed him.

 

He turned to Ben. “Do you want your mommy to stay for dinner?” 

 

Ben’s face lit up, and in May’s arms, he started bouncing erratically. “Mama, stay! Please, mama?”

 

“The kid wants you to stay, Ms. Jones,” Tony smugly remarked. “And who can say no to that face?”

 

“I-- O-okay. Sure.” Michelle took a small, uncomfortable step into the apartment, and looked at Peter with wide, sad eyes.

 

They hadn’t spoken since the day before. And he hadn’t really planned until talking to her until  _ after _ he dropped the case, so Peter truly didn’t know what to do.

 

He stared back for a moment. Peter broke their gaze first, staring down at his feet in shame.

 

May set Ben down and he ran over to Peter. “Hi, papa,” he excitedly said. “We saw an octopus!”

 

“It wasn’t an octopus,” Michelle kindly corrected. She pulled out a chair and sat down across from Peter, the tension between them already immensely distracting. Her eyes remained on Ben, and her voice was distant. “It was-- I-- I don’t really know. It had eight arms, and he asked me what kind of animal had eight arms, and now he thinks we saw an octopus right outside your apartment building.”

 

“Right outside?” Peter asked. “Just now?”

 

“It was a few streets down but-- Why? Is it, like… you know.”

 

May and Tony wandered back into the kitchen, making Peter clear his throat and turn his attention back to his son. “Forget about it. So, an octopus? Was it cool?”

 

“So cool! I wish I had extra arms!” Ben boasted.

 

Ben went on about how useful extra arms would be for a while, distracting his two parents from the other’s presence. They laughed together, admiring their son. Things like this could work. They didn’t have to fight the whole time; they could sit, in the same room, and focus their attention on Ben. Peter and Michelle could be civilized if they wanted to.

 

And for an hour, they remained civilized like that. Michelle mainly talked to Tony, giving him a genuine compliment for once. “It was really smart of you to destroy your suits. Superheros retire, too, don’t they.”

 

Tony had just scoffed in response. (He still had some laying around, in case he ever needed it.) 

 

And May and Peter were solving puzzles with Ben in the living room. She had collected really complex ones over the years, so for most of the time, as Peter and Ben tried to solve a twenty-piece dog puzzle, all May did was take pictures. “So cute,” she’d say.

 

“You’re such a grandma,” Peter said under his breath.

 

“I love hearing that,” May remarked, laughing. “Say it again.”

 

The issue occured when they all sat down together for dinner. Tony had served meatloaf, of all things he was capable of, and the first twenty minutes were solid. They talked to fill the silence, their topics ranging from, “So, Ben is starting school next week,” to Tony describing to Ben how cool Dubai is, even though the five year old didn’t care in the slightest.

 

When Tony asked Michelle what her future looked like. She froze, biting her bottom lip as she stared down at her plate. “Uh, you know, it really d-depends.” 

 

“Depends on what?” May asked.

 

Oh, that’s right.

 

Peter never told May.

 

He’d meant to, so many times, but along with the fact that he hardly had any time to himself, Peter was just scared of how’d she react.

 

“You know,” Michelle raised her eyebrows, her eyes darting to Ben. He was happily kicking his feet back and forth and looking at Tony Stark with wonder. 

 

“No, I don’t know. What am I supposed to know?” 

 

Peter cleared his throat, dropping his utensils on the glass plate. Everyone’s eyes snapped to him. “Maybe we should talk about this later,” he said.

 

“ _ Seriously _ ?” Michelle hissed. “You didn’t-- Of course you didn’t. Why would you be responsible for once?”

 

Tony turned to Ben and held his hand out. “Wanna go watch some TV?” he offered.

 

Ben agreed. Tony turned the volume up high and, when the kid was situated with watching reruns of old Disney shows, May was still asking what was going on. “Is it something dangerous? Is one of you dying? Are you pregnant again?”

 

“No!” Michelle screamed. “I’m sure the two of you would like that, though, right? So you can take another one of my kids away from me.” She looked at Tony and Peter.

 

“Another? Peter, what does she mean by  _ another _ ?” May gasped. “Did you-- are you  _ suing for custody _ ? And are you--” she turned to Tony, pointing fingers, and at the very tip was a metaphorical knife, threatening to slit their throats. “--are you helping him?”

 

“I just gave him the lawyers number,” Tony confessed. “I didn’t know what he wanted it for!”

 

He felt like May had found the alcohol that was once hidden under Peter’s bed again. She was so disappointed in him, but this time, she seemed more  _ insulted _ than anything else. Like this was directly influenced by her.

 

“You can hardly solve a twenty piece puzzle, Peter. How are you going to raise a child? On your own?” May yelled.

 

“I--”

 

She cut him off. “And don’t forget about the time you almost burned the apartment down  _ last week _ because you left the pizza in the oven too long. I bet you really could be a terrific dad, Peter, but you do not know how difficult it all is.”

 

“You did it,” he reminded her. Tony and Michelle were watching their back and forth, with the same level of intensity as Ben was watching the Disney Channel.

 

“It’s not the same! Not at all.  _ I  _ had help, I had a support system, I had the kindest man to help raise our nephew into being the same way. What happened?”

 

“What does that mean?” Peter asked.

 

“It means that if he could see you right now, and see what you are planning on doing to her,” she pointed at Michelle, “he’d be ashamed of you.”

 

It felt like she stabbed him in the heart.

 

He stood up, knocking his chair over along the way. “I’m going to get dessert,” Peter announced. His legs shook as he made his way out the door, hearing no objections from anyone inside.

 

May was wrong. Ben--his uncle Ben--wouldn’t have been  _ ashamed _ . Ben was the most important person in Peter’s life, and hearing that, especially from May, the second most important person in his life--it just made Peter feel like his entire world had crumbled.

 

When the fresh air hit him, it also made Peter’s digestive track realize that it did  _ not _ appreciate Tony Stark’s meatloaf. Every few feet, he’d have to stop and take a deep breath before continuing. It took him half an hour to walk to and from the grocery store. He picked out a package of macaroons, however, he ate a few on the way back.

 

Michelle was waiting for him on the steps of May’s apartment complex. “You actually got dessert,” she sneered. Her arms were crossed, and she watched Peter as he moved in front of her.

 

“Well, I said I would, didn’t I?” Peter snapped.

 

She tsked, shaking her head, before admitting, “Tony’s giving me one of his lawyers. Says he feels ‘guilty.’ But I think May is making him.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“But-- Peter, you should just drop it, okay? If you lost your  _ entire family _ because you’re being too stubborn, then will it really be worth it?” 

 

His blood was still boiling from May’s comments, so he didn’t hesitate before asking her to clarify what she meant by  _ entire family _ .

 

“Let’s say you won-- you’d lose May first. Then, eventually, based on all the comments Stark’s been saying for the past thirty minutes, you’d lose him, too. And, when Ben is old enough to realize what you did, he’d never talk to you again.” Michelle’s feet scuffed the ground anxiously. “Of course, I’d never talk to you again, either.”

 

“And if I dropped it right now, you’d forgive me?” It’s what Peter had been planning on this whole day; so why did the hypothetical offering of him dropping it make him feel wrong?

 

“Yes, Peter. And May would, too. All you’ve gotta do is let it go.”

 

Peter stared up at her. Michelle, the first and only person he had ever loved, and even though he wasn’t displaying it, the person he  _ still _ loved, was giving him an out. A glorious, glorious out that he should be bouncing on. Everything would be forgiven, she had told him, and if Peter wasn’t so damn stubborn…

 

His stomach was still sick because of what May had said. “Can-- can you take these up there?” Peter asked, holding the box of macaroons out. “And can you tell Ben that I had to leave, and that I’m sorry?”

 

“Sure,” Michelle agreed. She took the box from Peter’s hand, their fingertips grazing. “Bye, Peter.”

 

That night, with too much on his mind, Peter didn’t go out patrolling.

 

And the next day at work, when he was talking to Otto, he had never been less motivated to do anything in his whole life.

 

Peter had said, “They’re right, Doc. I’m going to drop it. It’d make everything just-- just easy again.”

 

“No,” Otto blurted as soon as possible. “I mean-- don’t do that, Peter.”

 

“But I should. I’m going to. Yeah, I’m going to.” Peter, in that moment, decided he was going to call the lawyers again, and this time, they were going to listen to him.

 

“Listen to  _ yourself _ . Not to them. What do you want to do?” Otto asked. He shuffled uncomfortably in his seat. “I hope you know that, no matter what you decide, I will always be there for you.”

 

“What-- what does that mean?”

 

“They’re all against you. All of them, only looking out for themselves, and none of them are thinking about what is best for  _ you _ . May, practically your mother, is abandoning you to support the woman who robbed you of precious time. Don’t you see how messed up that is?” 

 

Peter straightened his back; Otto was kind of right. “Yeah, I guess.”

 

“And I know you’ve said that Stark was your idol. Now he’s helping Michelle, too. They don’t care about you, Peter.  _ I  _ care about you. And if you decided to continue with the case, which I think you should, I will be there by your side, supporting you.” 

 

That made him feel warm inside. After being in agony for a week, Peter finally had someone who wasn’t treating him like shit. “Thanks, Doc. W-would you mind if I took a few days off next week? To clear my head?”

 

Otto stared back, his growing smile becoming somewhat malicious. “Take as long as you need, Peter,” he replied.

 

And that night, when Peter got back home, he went through all of his messages. A few from Ned, telling him he needed to grow up. A few from Gwen, saying he was being a dick. Finally, a voicemail from May, which started as an apology but quickly turned into her chewing into him again.

 

Peter went to his closet where he kept his Spider-Man suit. Instead of putting it on completely, though, he pulled the mask over his head. “Karen, turn the police scanner off,” he commanded.

 

Even with Otto’s undying support, Peter was still being shunned. He needed time. Time that wasn’t being filled with ours of patrolling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had difficulties writing this chapter :/ anyways, i'm thinking of starting to prewrite the next chunk, so it'll take a while to come out w the next one! they'll be better than this! thank you for reading <3 send me questions on my curiouscat if you have any (https://curiouscat.me/hannrlee) or @ me on twitter (@parkerbjones) <3


	10. Chapter 10

**MICHELLE**

 

Ben was worried about Spider-Man.

 

Every day around three p.m., Ben would sit in front of the TV and listen for mentions of his favorite superhero. And whenever Michelle would bring the newspaper in, Ben would tear into it, looking for pictures and asking if he could cut the pictures out. For the last couple of days, though, Spider-Man had been missing from the papers. Ben was driving his mother crazy with his worries.

 

Michelle was troubled, too; Peter had gone radio silent since the dinner with May and Tony, leaving her only with one text message that read: _I need time to think_ . No Spider-Man, no Peter Parker. She was still undeniably upset, rage still filled her body when she thought about him, but-- but it was Peter. And that’s the only way Michelle could describe her stupid sense of loyalty to him. It was _Peter_ , and she couldn’t just let him isolate himself.

 

One day, when Ben was close to tears over the missing hero, Michelle brought her son in for a hug and promised, “How about I go check on him?”

 

Ben gasped, his face lighting up. “You can do that?”

 

“I can find a way.” Michelle combed his hair out of his face and placed a kiss on his forehead. Ben seemed content with that, calming down and going back to watching cartoons.

 

She waited until her mother came home. Her mom still grimaced when they exchanged glances, and their conversations consisted of nothing but sneers and upsetting jabs. “I’m going to go check up on Peter,” Michelle stated. “Can you watch Ben for an hour or two?”

 

“Sure,” her mother agreed, passive aggressively not looking up from the papers she held. “Go have fun, Michelle.”

 

“It’s not a casual visit, I--” There would be no use in arguing with her. Michelle dropped it and added, “I’ll be back.”

 

She made her way to Peter’s place. She had no clue how she was going to approach him--angry and bitter, or gentle to make an attempt at peace. Michelle was just hoping he’d answer the door, as May and Ned had done the same thing, and Peter stayed locked in his apartment.

 

When she got there, she knocked and shouted, “Peter? It’s MJ. I need to talk to you.” Who knew if he was even home? It was Tuesday at four p.m., after all, he might’ve been working. Something told her he wasn’t, though.

 

Peter didn’t answer, so she tried again. “It’s important,” Michelle screamed. Still, no response. She pulled out the one card he wouldn’t be able to ignore. “It’s about Ben. He’s hurt.”

 

It wasn’t a lie. Not really.

 

The door swung open. Peter stood in front of her, his hair disheveled and his eyes sunken in. It looked like he hadn’t been sleeping, and as Michelle glanced past his shoulder, his apartment was an absolute wreck. “H-hurt?” he croaked out. “Is he in the hospital?”

 

She pushed past him into his apartment. “No, he’s fine. Physically. He’s having a rough time without you around, though.”

 

Also, not really a lie. Peter _was_ Spider-Man, and Ben had been asking where his dad was. Michelle was telling him that Peter had chicken pox, so Ben had to stay away.

 

“MJ, you can’t just say--”

 

“Well, _you_ can’t just go AWOL when you have a five year old waiting for you. What’s going on, Peter? Everyone is really worried about you.” Michelle started to, instinctively, clean up around his home. She threw a stash of candy wrappers away while she heard him stammer for his response.

 

“No one is _worried_ . Just a few days ago, Ned texted me how heartless I am because of what _you_ told him. Everyone hates me,” he said under his breath.

 

Michelle put the dishes sitting on the countertop in the dishwasher. “Nobody hates you, and I never told Ned. I told Gwen, and Gwen told Ned, okay? They all just-- strongly disagree with you, that’s all.”

 

Peter finally closed the door. “You guys don’t care. If you cared--”

 

“Where are you getting this idea that everyone is against you, Peter? Wasn’t I just telling you that if you dropped it, dropped everything, then we could just go back to normal? Do you remember what _normal_ means?”

 

“ _If you cared_ ,” he persisted, “May wouldn’t have said what she said.”

 

“She feels terrible about it.”

 

“Still said it, though. And has anyone taken the time to think about _why_ I’m doing this?” Michelle wet a towel and started wiping down his kitchen table. “And oh my god, please stop cleaning.”

 

“Sorry. Nervous tick.” She left the cloth sitting there. “Fine, Peter. Why are you suing for custody?”

 

Peter took a shaky breath, like he was bracing himself for what he was about to say. “MJ... you robbed me of so many moments and memories, and then your mom basically told me that you were moving back to California, I felt like it was happening all over again.”

 

He opened his mouth to say more, but Michelle cut him off. “You never gave me the chance to tell you otherwise! You came up to me, screaming about my father. What was I supposed to say?”

 

“I don’t know, MJ! I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. All I wanted was for you not to run off with him again.”

 

“So you sued for full custody?” Michelle spat. “We could’ve talked it out! We could’ve had a talk, like real adults do, instead of screaming at each other. Peter, god, you’re so _stupid_ sometimes.”

 

“Oh, a real talk?” Peter raised his eyebrows at her, sensing the hypocrisy in her statement. “A real talk. Like the one we had when you hijacked a ride up to a _secure_ part of Stark Industries and then yelled at me in front of my boss?”

 

She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Because it felt like my son was going to be ripped from my arms!”

 

Peter took a step forwards, his eyes welling with tears. “ _Our_ son, MJ. He is my kid, too.”

 

They stared at each other, both of them on the offensive. Then, Michelle backed off, and lowered her head. “Please, Peter,” she pleaded. “I’m so sorry. For everything. You won’t believe how many times I almost picked up the phone and called you. I just-- I thought I was protecting him. _Please_ drop the case. Ben deserves both of his parents.”

 

He didn’t respond.

 

Michelle kept going, saying, “I won’t take him out of the state without your permission, and I won’t be one of those bitchy ex’s who turns him against you. And we can chop this up to one, big, huge misunderstanding, and we can raise _our_ son together. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

 

Peter swallowed roughly. “Yeah. I-- I guess it does.”

 

“Really?” she said in disbelief. Relief flooded her as she suppressed a smile. “Do you mean that?”

 

“I still want _some_ legal rights.”

 

“We can do that.”

 

“And I want more than a Wednesday night and a weekend, you know? We live just a few blocks away from each other.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“And--”

 

Michelle jokingly groaned. “God, all these demands. You’d think _I_ was the one who was going to sue.”

 

Peter gaped at her for a moment. “I was just scared, MJ. I’m sorry.”

 

“I know.” Her humorous attempt had fallen flat, and had made everything feel weird again. “I’ll tell May and the rest that everything is all good again, and in the meantime, maybe put the mask on. Ben misses his favorite superhero.”

 

“Do you think I’m still worthy?” he asked. May’s comment must’ve really affected him, and Michelle knew why; his uncle Ben was his idol. Peter would’ve done anything to make him proud.

 

Michelle hesitated, then took a step forward and embraced him into a hug. “I do. And so does your son.”

 

She let herself melt into Peter’s arms briefly. She didn’t realize how much she had been yearning for this moment, and when Michelle pushed herself away from him, she didn’t exactly expect to be desiring more.

 

“Also,” she continued, clearing her throat. “You should probably clean up your apartment. Or take a shower. Or both!”

 

Peter groaned. “I was getting to it. So, uh,” he cleared his throat, “do you think the three of us could maybe go to the zoo tomorrow? Like, a family outing?”

 

“So many demands,” Michelle repeated. “But, sure. Why not.”

 

“Perfect,” he smiled back. “I’ll-- I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

 

“Yeah.” She nodded. “I’ll see you then.”

 

Their eye contact lingered for a while. Peter took a sharp inhale, “Thanks for not tearing into me.”

 

“I’m a real adult now.” Michelle playfully nudged his shoulder, as a way to make the air around them less tense.

 

As she was leaving his apartment, she felt proud of herself. Maybe they’d never be a nuclear family, but at least Ben would have _both_ parents-- a concept Peter nor Michelle had experienced. If they could get over this last bump in the road, maybe they could give their son what both of them desperately needed. A present and loving father, a non-judgemental mother, a _family_.

 

They both messed up. And it was arguable who messed up more, since in their hearts they both felt they were doing what was right, but Michelle was confident that this could work. If they both forgave each other.

 

**PETER**

 

After several days of being off the radar, Spider-Man returned to the streets of New York. He stopped a bank robbery with no casualties, saved civilians from a car crash, and felt nothing but pride the whole time.

 

Peter, after Michelle left, had a long talk with May on the phone. She cried for a while, telling him that she just got carried away because she loved Michelle like a daughter when they were in high school. “Ben would be so proud of you,” May admitted. “And maybe-- maybe he wouldn’t be particularly happy with this action, but he didn’t have it in him to be ashamed of you.”

 

He told her he was going to be dropping the case. He told her he hated himself for filing it in the first place.

 

Michelle was right; she was a real adult. She’d been a real adult since she was eighteen years old, when that pink plus sign slapped her across the face. She raised Ben, and in the process, had grown up dramatically. Peter, at times, still felt like he was a child. And he had sued on a whim, on a crazy, rage induced whim that he should’ve ignored.

 

May told him that it’d all eventually be okay. And, Peter hoped she was right.

 

Ned and Gwen had yet to answer his texts, but, he sent them at two in the morning. Maybe they were just sleeping. He, also, sent a quick text to Tony.

 

The only person Peter had left to talk to was Otto.

 

Thinking about telling him made his stomach twist into knots. Actually, thinking about Otto in general gave Peter the same effect. Something had changed ever since Michelle showed up. He used to be this fun, bubbly, erratic boss-slash-friend. He didn’t have a menacing bone in his body. And yet, as soon as Michelle returned, it was like a switch went off in Otto’s brain. Looking back on them, his actions all seemed calculated and off putting to Peter, and his eyes were clouded in spite.

 

Still, Peter loved the man. He was supportive when every one else wasn’t; that had to count for something.

 

Peter dialed Otto’s number early that next morning. He was already dressed for the zoo in a few hours, excited to turn over a new leaf.

 

“Peter?” Otto’s voice sounded concerned. “Is everything okay?”

 

“I-- Yeah, Doc. Everything is great! Why wouldn’t it be?” Peter asked, already side tracked.

 

“Because I thought you were taking a few days to clear your head. What’s up, kid?” his boss replied.

 

Peter balanced the phone between his shoulder and his cheek and started making himself breakfast. Simply scrambled eggs, but it was better than nothing. “MJ-- MJ and I are gonna work things out. We had a talk last night, and we’re all hanging out later today, and--”

 

“ _What_?” Otto hissed. “A-are you kidding me? After all she’s done?”

 

“It’s what’s best for Ben,” Peter replied, his voice injured from Otto’s scorn. “It’s what’s best for all of us.”

 

“That’s what they want you to think, Peter. Michelle is _evil_ ; your child deserves better than a mother who turns your family against you.”

 

 _What the hell?_ Peter thought. He’d never heard Otto talk like this before.

 

“ _Evil_?” he spat back through the phone. “Evil? You don’t know her!”

 

“I think I’ve heard well enough to make my own conclusions, and--”

 

Peter cut Otto off. “MJ isn’t evil, Doc. She made a choice, one she thought was best for her and Ben and-- and fuck, even me. I might not have a job with you if she told me six years ago that she was pregnant!” His entire body was on fire; how dare he say that? “And I shouldn’t have overreacted. I thought… I thought you said you would support whatever decision I made.”

 

“This is the wrong one,” Otto warned. “Don’t fold, Peter. Get custody, get your kid, and be happy with him.”

 

“I think we would all be happier if we were all together. At least, I hope. We’re going to try it out.”

 

“When?” Otto asked.

 

Reluctantly, Peter replied, “We’re going to Queens Zoo today. At one.”

 

“You’re making the wrong decision, Parker,” Otto snarled.

 

 _Parker_. It set off Peter’s alarm bells. “I’m not, Doc. My bad decision was letting you plant the idea in my head in the first place.”

 

Silence filled Otto’s end of the phone. Peter didn’t realize until a few seconds later that he had hung up.

 

Feeling uneasy, he set his phone down on the counter. That was… weird. Strange. Peculiar. Otto’s voice had sent chills down Peter’s spine. He was personally insulted by Peter’s change of heart, and he had no right to be. He was supposed to _support_ him, because that’s what he promised.

 

Peter’s eggs started smoking. He rushed to turn the stove off and to move the pan to an unheated portion, and quickly grabbed a towel and started fanning the air. It probably wasn’t doing anything. But, Peter was hungry, and frustrated, and was growing more and more concerned by the second.

 

Work the next day would be full of horrific amounts of tension.

 

For now, however, Peter didn’t have to worry about _tomorrow_. His sights were on his afternoon with Ben and Michelle, and he’d just have to ignore the pit in his stomach.

 

A few hours later he was standing outside the zoo’s entrance when Ben entered his vision. He came running up to Peter, wrapping his tiny arms around his father’s legs. “Papa!” he cheered. “Are the chicken pox gone?”

 

Peter’s hand held the back of Ben’s head. He looked up and saw Michelle running up to them, in a flowy sundress with her hair down. She was glowing in the afternoon sun. “Chicken pox?” he asked, smirking.

 

“You had a terrible case of chickenpox,” she laughed. “You’re so forgetful sometimes, Peter.”

 

He nodded along, then took Ben’s hand in his. Ben grabbed his mother’s hand and, together, like the makeshift family they were, they walked together to the ticket booth.

 

After they received their tickets, they went to the sea lion exhibit. “Ben loves them,” Michelle informed Peter as they observed their son gawking at the sea lions. He made silly faces at them through the glass. Once, Ben thought one of them waved at him, and it was the most exciting moment in his life.

 

His parents watched with love. And Michelle was acting nonchalantly, like nothing bad between them had ever happened. She’d look over at Peter and smile casually and would elbow him jokingly and it was making him more nervous than it should have.

 

At one point, at the coyote exhibit, Peter said to her, “We’re, y’know, good. Right?”

 

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Yes, Parker. We’re good. Stop being a pansy and cough up a quarter, Ben wants one of those souvenir coins.”

 

“You give him a quarter,” Peter deflected, however he had already found one in his pockets. He placed it in her palm.

 

“I’ll tell him it was from me.” Michelle beamed. She turned away, and walked the three steps back to Ben. Peter watched her walk, watched her act with Ben, and maybe for the very first time, he couldn’t believe this was the same girl from his Decathlon team in high school.

 

He had thought about it a few times, how different she was. But Michelle was almost like an entirely different person. She was now so forgiving, and patient. Still rash, but was trying to overcome her urges. Kinder than anyone would ever assume, mostly with Ben, but the point stood. It baffled Peter.

 

And, it also distracted him.

 

They had just purchased cotton candy when Peter heard a scream. It didn’t sound fearful, or close at all, so he chopped it up to kids being shocked by a roaring tiger. He was too busy thinking about how everything might really be falling into place to care.

 

Then came the myriad of mechanical thuds. And a swarm of shrieks from adults and children alike. And Peter felt his whole body go cold.

 

Michelle looked past his shoulder, her eyes going wide as she did. She bent down to swoop Ben into her arms and started tugging roughly on Peter’s arm. “Do you have the suit?” she asked.

 

Peter tried looking over his shoulder, but his eyes wouldn’t move from Ben’s expression. He seemed to be the only one in the entire park to still be joyful. “I- I left it. Family outing, remember. What is it?”

 

“It’s the octopus!” Ben cheered. He pointed happily in the direction of the thuds, that were getting closer, and closer, and closer, until--

 

Until something grabbed Peter by the waist and yanked him backwards before throwing him across the plaza. The air left his body when he landed on his back, and his body began to tumble. The concrete peeled his skin off, leaving a burning sensation as he kept going.

 

When he became stationary, Peter could feel blood trickling down his forehead. And he could hear Michelle’s screams. “Move!” she yelled. “Peter, _move_.”

 

Before he could, the octopus’ metal claw came back, gripping his core once again. It lifted Peter off of the ground and quickly began to dip the very ends of the metal into his side. It felt like absolute hell. Peter let out a gut wrenching scream as the metal went deeper and deeper, and as he still struggled for air to flow through him.

 

His eyes finally opened, and he saw the person holding him. Their face was unidentifiable, for the mask they wore covered everything. Red glowing eyes stared back at Peter. They were menacing-- especially when Peter was, well, Peter. And not Spider-Man.

 

There was nothing for him to do. He pushed down on the metallic arm, trying to get out of its grasp, with no results. Peter was panicking. He could hear Michelle’s muffled screams, and Ben’s diluted sobs, and the monster’s maniacal laughs.

 

Peter started motioning for Michelle to run. She kept shaking her head no, and he continued, hoping she’d eventually come to her senses. Perhaps it went on too long, since the octopus monster had caught on.

 

The claw retracted from Peter’s body, willingly letting him free fall to the ground. He slammed against the ground, his head taking a major blow, and the blood trickled into a puddle quickly. He started losing consciousness. He could hardly keep his eyes open.

 

Peter tried screaming at Michelle to run. Nothing came out.

 

The monster turned away from him, beginning to move towards Michelle and Ben. She covered Ben’s head and moved so Peter could only see her back.

 

His eyes felt heavier and heavier. The weather was in the eighties, and yet, he felt so cold.

 

The monster, with ease, peeled Ben from his mother’s arms. Inaudible to Peter, he said something. Michelle screamed bloody murder. Ben cried, his arms outstretched, begging to be in Michelle's arms. And as he disappeared from the zoo, Peter Parker passed out in a pool of his own blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKOKOKOKOKOK BEFORE YALL YELL-- i just wanna take a minute to talk abt how important this story is to me. its my first attempt at a story with a complex plot, instead of just romance. and the fact that ive gotten this far with people still supporting me really shows that one day maybe i could do this again! so, thank you <3 you can yell now.
> 
> twitter: @parkerbjones  
> curiouscat: https://curiouscat.me/hannrlee


	11. Chapter 11

**MICHELLE**

 

The world had stopped moving. The city had halted all of its noise. Its people had frozen in time, no one even fidgeting with their phone as they looked upon the broken man and the childless mother.

 

If there were noises, Michelle couldn’t hear them. Her ears had begun to ring as soon as Peter had let out his first blood curdling scream, and nothing after that had registered in her mind. He was yelling something at her, wasn’t he? Peter’s mouth was moving, and yet she didn’t know if any words had come out.

 

Michelle was petrified. She was crawling over the concrete to Peter’s limp body, sobbing, whimpering, her hand being doused in his blood. “Peter?” she cried out, unsure if her voice carried. She reached him, eventually, and her entire dress was stained. She grabbed onto his head and shook it. “Please, wake up. Peter, Peter I- I need you to wake up.”

 

His skin was pale, expect the blotches of red Michelle had smeared on his face. She placed two fingers to the side of his throat and held her breath as she waited.  _ Please, please, please still be alive _ , she thought. She felt small, spaced out beats against her finger tips, and sighed in relief.

 

Peter was alive. Oh, thank god, he was alive.

 

She kept muttering, “Wake up, please wake up. I need you to wake up,” until the paramedics arrived. Michelle observed as they put Peter onto a stretcher and pulled him into the ambulance, and then she made the executive decision to get in with him. In the heat of things, the two paramedics allowed her in.

 

As they rode to the hospital, Michelle held onto Peter’s hand. She was trying not to think about anything. Trying not to picture Ben every time she closed her eyes. Trying not to remember how it felt to have him be ripped from her arms. There was nothing for her to do about it; the one person who could’ve done something, was getting closer and closer to death every second.

 

However, no matter how hard she tried, Michelle couldn’t get it out of her head. Ben was terrified; his arms were outstretched for her to steal him back and, despite Michelle’s absence of hearing, she could definitely hear his squeals. His loud, loud screams of fright, that probably woke people up all the way in California.

 

Michelle should’ve stayed there.

 

She should’ve let her mom go back to New York by herself. She made enough on her own to live in a smaller apartment, and so what if she had to sleep on the couch? At least Ben would’ve been  _ safe _ .

 

Michelle’s first instinct to keep Ben from his father was right all along, and that killed her. Peter was blossoming into a fantastic parent, and it was his fault that their son was now taken.

 

No,  _ no _ \-- it wasn’t his fault. And it wasn’t Michelle’s fault for coming back, and giving Peter the chance he deserved all this time. No, it was the maniac with the metal arms’ fault. He took their son, and he almost killed Peter.

 

That’s what Michelle was trying to wrap her head around, with the help of Tony Stark. She was still going between hating herself and hating Peter when he walked into the hospital. May had rushed over to Michelle first, pulling her in for a shocking embrace. “Is he okay?” she yelled. “What’s going on?”

 

Tony then stoically walked into her view. He ran his fingers through his hair obsessively, and wouldn’t say a word. An hour passed, and May was still crying, and Michelle was still cursing herself, when Tony finally spoke. “It’s not your fault,” he croaked.

 

“What? I- I never said--”

 

“That’s what you’re thinking, though,” he continued. Michelle felt May’s hand comfortingly grip her knee. “Pepper’s death-- I- I wasn’t around. And I blamed myself for years, but… there’s nothing you can do about the maniacs in the world. You can’t stop living out of fear just because one might be lurking around the corner.”

 

“But--” she persisted. Tony shushed her, and put one arm around her shoulder and brought Michelle into his side.

 

“They’re both going to be okay. And if-- if--” He cleared his throat, his only movements being his bouncing leg. “It’s not your fault, Michelle.”

 

The only thing for them to do, was wait.

 

Wait in the emergency room of the stuffy hospital for the doctors to bring news about Peter’s surgery. Wait while the three of them sat in complete silence, petrified about the potential of his death. Waiting, waiting for  _ hours _ while Michelle was helpless to find her son. Who knew what was happening to him, at that time. Ben was probably upset, and hurt, and crying for his parents.

 

Ned texted her, saying he and Gwen would try and help. They’d ask around, make some posters, tell Twitter to look out for an octopus holding a sobbing child. Their efforts produced nothing valuable, not even late in the night when Peter’s surgeon finally graced them with the good news.

 

She wouldn’t let Michelle see him. “Immediate family only,” she apologized, and proceeded to lead May and  _ Tony _ down the hall.

 

Tony wasn’t anymore of an immediate family member than Michelle was. Nevertheless, the two older adults looked down at her with pity, like she was seventeen once more and clambering to find her missing boyfriend. They walked in stride with the doctor, and left Michelle alone.

 

Her mom had texted her a million times, and so had Ned, and Gwen; she didn’t have the willpower to text any of them back. She slumped back into her chair, and let the situation overwhelm her completely. Michelle’s hands were still stained with blood. Her dress was never going to be clean again. Her  _ son _ was  _ gone _ . Peter was  _ dying _ . And she let the tears take control, for the first time since Tony had put his arm around her.

 

May came jogging back into the hall, suppressing the smile on her face. “He wants to see you,” she told Michelle. “His anesthesia wore off faster than expected, and the first thing he asked for was to see you.”

 

She grabbed Michelle’s hand, who shot up in her chair and let her legs carry her to Peter’s room.

 

The walk there felt brutally long. Her stomach was in knots as they walked through the everlasting hallway, that seemed to grow two paces longer with every step. May seemed enthusiastic; her nephew was okay. Her mind must’ve been wiped of the other trauma of the day, since she was skipping through the hall with delight.

 

Peter was sitting straight up in his bed talking to Tony when the two of them walked in. He had stitches on his swollen face, and he was permanently holding his side. “MJ,” he said, groggily. 

 

Michelle stood in the doorway and let out a relieved puff of air. “You’re alive,” she said, like she couldn’t believe it.

 

Tony stiffly got up, moving from the bed to where Michelle was standing. “I’ll let you two talk,” he smiled, and escorted May out of the room.

 

The door closed behind Michelle. “Stop staring at me like that,” Peter told her. “You’re acting like I was dead.”

 

She took two, fast strides to his bed, sat down on the side, and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Ribs!” he grimaced. “Insiction! MJ, so-- tight--”

 

“You seemed dead,” Michelle said into his ear. She pulled back, and could feel the tears welling up again. “Peter, I’m so scared. What if we never get him back?”

 

“We will,” he promised. It didn’t sound very convincing; his voice was rattling and his yes were scanning the room obsessively. Peter was rubbing Michelle’s back, but it provided little reassurance. “And I’m scared shitless, too. But, I’ll be on my feet in a few hours. And I won’t stop looking for him until I find him.”

 

Carefully, Michelle adjusted her body so that she was lying alongside Peter. She rested her head on his shoulder, and cried once more. “What if we never get him back?” she feared, and Peter took her hand.

 

“Whoever did this isn’t out to hurt a harmless kid. They’re out to hurt me, and they know that it’s the uncertainty that pains the most. MJ, we  _ will _ get our son back. I promise.” 

 

“Don’t keep promises you can’t keep.”

 

“Well, I’m keeping this one. He’s the most important thing in my life, MJ. If I lost him for good, I think--” Peter never finished the sentence, and instead gripped tightly onto Michelle’s hands.

 

She nodded against his shoulder. “I know what you mean,” she said. If they lost him for good, their lives would no longer have meaning.

 

“When we get him back,” Peter gulped, “I- I’d understand if you wanted to go back to California.”

 

“If we get him back, it’ll be because you saved him. And you always will protect us, won’t you?” She knew the answer; she just wanted to hear it again.

 

“Always,” he reassured. “ _ When _ we get him back, I’ll always protect the both of you.”

 

Peter was always the optimist, Michelle always the pessimist. Some things would never change.

 

Neither of them could fall asleep that night. Tony pulled some strings and made it so that Michelle could stay in Peter’s room, and for most of the night, they held each other and stared at the ceiling. Part of her was waiting for a ransom call; the other part of her was waiting for Ned’s text, sending her a news article declaring their son deceased. Peter, on the other hand, was brainstorming ideas. “I’ll scour the city. Day and night. I’ll-- I’ll broadcast a video of me, telling them my position and we’ll fight it out. I’ll kill them.”

 

“Don’t,” Michelle said. “He deserves to rot in prison. And you don’t want that on your conscious, not when we’re going to teach our son that murder is wrong.”

 

Peter glanced at her, and gave a reluctant nod. “Yeah but… I wanna fucking kill them. So bad.”

 

“Me, too.” 

 

The next day, to the complete surprise of the doctor’s, Peter’s wounds were healed. They were determined to keep Peter in the hospital another day to observe, but he refused, and Tony told them, “I’m taking him to a high-tech facility upstate. He’ll be safe.” Peter’s eyebrows twitched in response, believing him for a moment, mad that Tony would stop him from searching for his son.

 

Instead, they went to Peter’s apartment. Michelle had her arm around his waist, as if he needed help walking, when in reality it was just for herself. When they got there, Ned and Gwen were already inside, huddled around a system of computers. Gwen’s eyebrows were scrunched as she stared down at her keyboard, whereas Ned was ferociously scanning every screen in front of him. “I’m a biology major,” she stressed. “I don’t do-- Peter! MJ! Oh my God, I’m so sorry.”

 

Gwen swopped the two of them into one big hug. Tony squeezed past them, and drifted to Ned. He started giving muffled pointers and took over in Gwen’s spot on the computer station. “What are you doing?” Michelle asked.

 

“I think Ned is looking at surveillance cameras throughout the city, trying to see if he can track down Ben’s location. I think.” Gwen frowned, her sympathy filling the entire room. “Ned filled me in on everything. The Spidey thing. So this was a targeted attack, right? God, that sucks. I’m so sorry. You’ll get him back. I’m sure of it, and--”

 

“Gwen,” Peter sighed. “Thank you for being here.”

 

“Of course. Anything to help.” She smiled, and took a quick glance over her shoulder. “I decided to bake some cookies. Food is good for comfort, right?”

 

Michelle’s hand gripped tighter around Peter’s waist. “Thank you, Gwen,” she mustered. “May’s grabbing some lunch, too, so…” She felt like her body was melting, since she couldn’t keep her eyes open. They dropped as she talked and her knees wobbled, and just before she toppled over, Peter caught her.

 

“You should get some rest, MJ,” he said. Gwen grimaced, and turned away from them awkwardly.

 

“ _ No _ ,” Michelle hissed, with little effort. “I need to-- I need to look for Ben. I can’t just sit here doing nothing anymore.”

 

“Sleep deprivation won’t help.” He started dragging Michelle down the hall, towards his bedroom, and she tried to put up a fight.

 

“You got the same amount of sleep I did!” she argued, firmly placing her feet onto the hardwood floor.

 

Peter pulled harder than her feet could handle. “I’m used to working like this, you aren’t. Just take a little nap, and when you wake up, I won’t stop you from tearing the city apart. Actually, I’ll  _ help _ . But you gotta get some rest first.”

 

Michelle stared Peter down, her nostrils flaring and her mind ready to fight her way to get Ben back. But, her body was lacking. She felt drowsy, and as she came to terms with that, she slumped her back and crashed her head into Peter’s shoulder. “Just-- Just make sure you look  _ everywhere _ .”

 

“I will,” Peter promised. He placed his hand on her lower back and directed her to the bed, giving her one more embrace before tucking her in.

 

He kissed her forehead, but didn’t pull back very far before Michelle stopped him. “Can you stay with me for a few minutes? I-- I’m scared.”

 

Peter hesitated. “Yeah, yeah okay. For a few minutes.” He laid down on the other side of the bed; Michelle placed her head on his chest immediately. He wrapped his arms around her and promised, “Everything will be okay. We’ll get him back.”

 

She woke up, a few hours later, to the feeling of Peter’s phone vibrating against her leg. He snapped out of his dazed state, for a few moments, forgetting the urgent situation, and answered his phone with complete leisure. “This is Peter Parker,” he said, and rested his head against Michelle’s.

 

Obviously, she couldn’t see his face. The room was coated in darkness and she was below it, but, she felt him stiffen. His breath hitched and all Michelle could hear was the drowned out whispers of the person on the other line, and their voice was hardly comprehensible. 

 

“Peter? What’s wrong?” Michelle asked. She leaned over and turned the lamp on, and once light surrounded them, Peter’s face was one of pure rage.

 

“Is he okay?” Peter asked. “Just tell me that he’s okay.”

 

He was talking to the monster; the one who kidnapped Ben. Michelle started tugging Peter’s hand, trying to snatch his phone and put the volume on speaker. “What is he saying?  _ Peter _ ?”

 

He moved her hands away. “I don’t believe you,” Peter growled.

 

For three seconds, silence overtook them. Then, Peter let out a relieved gasp, and immediately put the phone in between him and Michelle, finally pressing the speaker button. “Ben?” he said, “Are you there?”

 

“ _ Ben _ ?” Michelle cried out. Peter grasped onto her hand as they waited for their son to speak.

 

They heard a string of delightful giggles. “Mama! Papa! I got some new toys!”

 

He wasn’t hurt, and he didn’t know what was going on; that gave Michelle little solace. “That’s great, baby,” she replied. Her tears welled up once again as she gripped tighter onto Peter’s hand.

 

“Ben,” he started, his voice inquisitive. “Ben, where are you?”

 

Their son began talking, but was swiftly cut off by his captor. “It’s not that easy, Spider-Man,” he taunted. “I already told you my demands.”

 

Peter glanced to Michelle, and it was obvious that whatever he asked for, it was a hefty price that Peter didn’t want to pay. “And I already told you--” Peter said.

 

All the blood in Michelle’s body rushed to her head, and determined to get her son back, no matter the cost, she made an executive decision. Her hands shook as she grabbed the phone from Peter’s loose palm, and her voice wavered as she began to talk. “Let’s do a trade,” Michelle offered. “Ben is innocent in everything; he’s just a kid. Take me instead.”

 

“ _ MJ _ ,” Peter scorned. “What the fuck? No. Absolutely not.”

 

“Let her make up her own mind, Spidey.” The voice sent chills down Michelle’s spine. “She’s just as demented as you are, if not more.”

 

She took a heavy breath and dismissed what he had said, instead asking, “Do we have a deal? You take me, and the rest of them get the kid back. That sounds pretty fair.”

 

Peter kept shaking his head, mouthing the word “No,” a million times over. Nevertheless, the villain agreed, with a menacing chuckle. “No tricks. Be on the roof of Parker’s apartment at midnight.”

 

The other end of the call went blank. And Peter turned to Michelle, furious. “What the fuck? Why did-- Why did you--”

 

“Ben is more important than I am, Peter. And what if we never found a way to get him back? At least  _ this way _ , he’ll be in his own bed by tomorrow night.”

 

“But what if we never find a way to get you back?”

 

They stared at each other. Neither of them were going to break, but Peter didn’t control Michelle. She was doing this, if it meant her son would be safe.

  
“Then you’ll survive. You’ll raise our son, and you’ll move on.” Michelle reaffirmed her grip on Peter’s hand. “Besides, you promised you’d get him back. So promise you’ll get me back.”

 

“I-- I promise, MJ. But I still think--”

 

“Peter,” she cut him off, and brought his arm around her’s and made it so that they were laying down. “Just say you’ll save me and shut your mouth.”

 

“I’ll save you. I promise.” Peter held her tightly, and Michelle considered how this might be the very last time that they’d ever be together. And that scared her, shitless.


	12. Chapter 12

**PETER**

 

“He said no tricks,” Michelle spoke. Tony had just given Peter what he would’ve called ‘spy equipment,’ if they were in any other situation. “This feels like a trick.”

 

“It’s not a trick,” Peter argued. He put a necklace around Michelle’s neck; the medallion had a camera in its center. She was also wearing an earpiece, so she could hear Peter’s voice the whole time, and it also doubled as a GPS tracker. They weren’t losing her. “It’s a precaution.”

 

“A precaution?” She turned to face Peter; her eyes watering, as they had been for the last few hours. She was scared, even though she had yet to admit it. 

 

“You know. When we go save you.” Peter was trying his hardest to be upbeat about it, trying his best to not scare Michelle even more. However, she could probably see right through the thin veil.

 

He had doubts, and a lot of them. He’d been through situations like this before, and  _ none  _ of the people he’d been up against had kept their word. Michelle was still adamant, though, on following through. “I know you think he’s not going to bring Ben back,” she said, assuming his thoughts. “I heard you talking to Stark. But-- but maybe he’ll bring me to where he’s holding Ben.”

 

“I’d much rather beat the truth out of him, if I’m being honest,” Peter mumbled. Michelle glared. “I know. Gotta go in with a strategy, not guns blazing. But, if you’d just--”

 

“No, Peter. I’m doing this. You have the ability to go out there and fight, and that’s exactly what I’m doing.”

 

“This isn’t  _ fighting _ , MJ. This is sacrificing. A sacrifice that won’t even amount to anything if he doesn’t give Ben up!”

 

Michelle reached up, cupping his face in her hands. “If he doesn’t give Ben up, at least you’ll know where to find me. And, in that hopefully emptier environment, you can-- I don’t know, do your thing. Fight it out there. And I know you can win.”

 

“You know?”

 

“Well, I wouldn’t be doing this if I had any doubts, now would I?” She was lying. Her voice shook when she talked and a tear fell down her cheek. With one hand, she brought Peter’s wrist up to her eye level to read the time off his watch. “Oh, shit…” Michelle sighed.

 

It was almost time.

 

There was so much Peter had wanted to do with her, now that he had her back. So much he wanted them to do as a family. And now, that might be over. Now, he might never get to see her safe and alive again. Now--

 

Michelle, with no warning, pressed her lips against Peter’s. Soft and gentle, it was like everything he remembered. He kissed back; his arms hugging her waist. His mouth communicated everything his words couldn’t, and he could feel Michelle doing the same.

 

“In case I never get to do it again,” she said, leaning her forehead against his. “Peter, I--”

 

“If you confess everything now, you’re kind of just cursing yourself to a demise.”

 

“Too bad,” Michelle, always stubborn, blurted. “Now let me talk. I just need you to hear this, okay? I’ve never stopped loving you.” Her voice was wispy and raspy at the same time, and Peter felt a tear drop onto his chest. It wasn’t his. “And-- and if I don’t make it back--”

 

“You’re making it back,” he promised.

 

“And if Ben does, tell him, every single day, how much I loved him. And don’t let him know how it happened. He doesn’t need to be blaming himself for the rest of his life.” She curled her finger around Peter’s hair.

 

He nodded, communicating his promise with no words. “I never stopped loving you, either,” he said. 

 

For a while, they stood there, embracing each other, and basking in their impending doom. On any other occasion, Peter would’ve been bouncing off the walls. This would’ve been the most important confession of his life, getting back together with her and they’d continue on and make a life together. But, in context, it was gut wrenching. 

 

When they walked back into the living room, there wasn’t a sound in the world. Gwen and Ned’s already hushed conversation had stopped dead, and everyone stared at Michelle with such sorrow. “Do you want to call your mom, sweetie?” May asked.

 

Michelle looked indecisive, for a moment. “She’s-- she’s probably busy. We’ll just fill her in later.”

 

“Are you sure? I mean, she’s your mom.” May sadly smiled, her shoulders slumping. “I know you think she doesn’t--”

 

“It’s fine, May. Thank you for caring, though.” She pulled May in for a hug. Then, she turned to Tony. “You’ve never been my favorite,” Michelle blurted. “But-- you’ve always been important to Peter, so… thank you.”

 

She was saying her goodbyes.

 

Peter, feeling his lungs constrict and his stomach squeeze, wiped his tears off of his face. He stood there, as stoically as possible, and watched as Michelle brought his mentor in for a small, awkward hug. Tony looked shocked, and hurt; once his eyes drifted to Peter, they turned sad. She then drifted over to Ned and Gwen, and he couldn’t watch any longer.

 

Peter stormed down the hallway and turned into his room. He put the Spider-Man suit on, his hands shaking as he did. He should just fight him as soon as he shows his face. Peter shouldn’t let him take Michelle. They could find Ben another way, right?

  
He put his street clothes over it, as Michelle had made him promise not to do anything to mess up the transaction.  _ Transaction _ \-- it was like the woman he loved and their child were like playing cards, that could be traded on a whim on any playground in the city.

 

They were all waiting for him in the living room. Their eyes obviously trying not to stare holes into Michelle, and now that he was back into the room, Peter himself. “Is it-- is it time?” he stuttered.

 

She nodded. Her lip quivered, but instead of facing them all, she turned around and started to lift up the window. For Michelle, it wouldn’t budge, and she became frustrated and started hitting the lock. Peter crossed the room, their friends and family frozen. He opened the window with ease. “Thanks,” Michelle said, in a hushed tone.

 

“Do you want me to go up with you?” He shouldn’t have asked; he should’ve just told her-- _ demanded _ \--to go with.

 

“Someone has to be there to take Ben back, right?” She gave a sympathetic smile, and her hand grabbed his. “He’ll probably ask you to come out, if that’s what he wants. I’m fine. I’ve got it.”

 

“Okay,” Peter said, defeated. He moved his hand to her chin, and slowly brought her close. Their lips connected, and it was filled with dread, and worry, and years and years of missed opportunities. “I’ll get you back,” he said. “Both of you.”

 

“Sure you will,” Michelle cried. She swung her leg over the windowsill, and gripped onto his hand one last time. She looked at him, and you really believed that they were never seeing each other again. “Well-- bye. I’ll see you guys on the other side.”

 

Nobody reacted; they just stared, shaking in their seats, watching the young, talented and bright Michelle Jones leap into near certain death. “I love you,” Peter tried to say, once more, but it had gotten stuck in his throat.

 

And then, just like that, she was now on the other side of the window. Peter observed as she walked up the fire-escape, and as soon as she was out of view, he turned around to direct Ned to turn on the camera. “ _ Now _ ,” he had hissed. He felt a bit bad about the delivery, but Ned understood. 

 

Peter, unfortunately, was right.

 

He didn’t bring Ben. 

 

He just took Michelle; Peter had to close his eyes and cover his ears so he wouldn’t have to hear, or see, or deal with anything except the pressing knowledge that he shouldn’t have let her do this. He knew, and he let her do it anyways. What was wrong with him? What was wrong with her? How was he supposed to get her back now?   
  


Peter had lost a chunk of time. His frustration had disabled his consciousness-- he couldn’t seem to remember anything from after he had initially closed his eyes. When he opened them back up again, he was still cradling himself on the couch; Tony was gone, and it was just Gwen, Ned, and May looking at Peter like he was broken.

 

“Peter?” Gwen whispered, her hand rubbing circles into his back. She had never seen him like this before, so helpless and livid. 

 

“Tony had an emergency,” Ned said from Peter’s other side. “But he said-- he said he’d be back, as soon as possible. He even took the suit out of retirement to get there faster.”

 

Peter felt as if another knife had been plunged into him. Tony hadn’t used the Iron Man suit in months, and he was the reason for him using it once more. “He would’ve been fine taking a car,” Peter grumbled. “Four people is enough.”

 

Nobody interjected, but he could tell they were all thinking the same thing. The three of them were citizens; average citizens, only two of which held a degree in the scientific field. The only one in that room that could do  _ anything _ , was Peter. Who was distracted, his mind weaving between being focused and being dazed. He was hunched over, the exhaustion too much for him, and was trying to remember what Ben sounded like, and what Michelle felt like in his arms.

 

“Where are they?” Peter asked. His eyes had finally drifted to the monitor that showed the feed of the camera he had hooked Michelle up with. The room she was in was completely empty, minus the construction equipment. The walls were barren and tall and the floorboards had been stripped and laid off to the side. In front of her, were two, wide, floor to ceiling windows. “How long have they been stopped?”

 

May filled him in. The octopus had assumed that Peter was going to use a tracker, so he had somehow disabled it. “Tony had some long winded theory,” she explained. “It all went over my head.” She also said that Michelle had been sitting there for close to an hour.

 

“An  _ hour _ ?” If he knew Peter’s every move, then he would know about the camera, and the earpiece Michelle harbored. So what was he waiting for?

 

“We aren’t sure what his plan is,” Ned said. “Do you have an idea?”

 

He didn’t have a single clue, and it killed him. He could hear Michelle’s shallow breaths, her whimpers, her cries for help; he was so tempted to just shut everything down. 

 

Still, Peter couldn’t abandon her. He promised that he would be there, in her ear, the whole time. He reached for the microphone that fed into her ear piece, and said, “MJ, I’m here. You can hear me, right?”

 

“I can hear you,” she whispered. Michelle sounded dreary and distant; her hopes at getting her son back crushed.

 

“Did he hurt you?” Peter demanded to know. “Are you okay?”

 

“I’m okay. Tied up to a chair, but I’m okay.”

 

The room Peter resided in was silent. May was biting her fingernails, Ned was pacing back and forth at an unmatched speed, and Gwen clutched a pillow to her chest like she was going to throw up. He wanted to shrivel up into a ball, himself, but he couldn’t. His son and Michelle were out there, and they needed him.

 

“MJ, do you know where you are?” he asked. 

 

He could hear her choking down tears. “N-no. I got blindfolded. I’m sorry, Peter.”

 

“It’s not your fault, baby.”  _ Baby _ . The word came out of his mouth without him registering it. Peter then turned to Ned and said, “Is there anyway you could track her location?”

 

Ned stopped in his tracks. “Well, I mean, probably. I think. It’s been a while since I did this, you know? It might come back to me, you never know, so--”

 

“Can you, or can’t you?” Peter, his temper short, cut him off.

 

“I’ll try.” His friend scurried back to the couch, and pulled his computer onto his lap.

 

Peter didn’t pay attention to Ned’s nimble fingers, slamming away on the keyboard. He started talking to Michelle again, promising, “Ned’s gonna find you, and I’ll come get you, and then we’ll find Ben. Does that sound like a plan?”

 

“Sounds great,” she said, finally letting out a sob.

 

“MJ--”

 

His phone rung, and he saw Tony’s contact photo cover the screen. Peter reached for it to pick it up, but at the same moment, a man stumbled in front of Michelle. The arms weren’t attached, but his bulky voice modulator was.

 

“Peter Parker.  _ Spider-Man _ ,” he mocked. “We sure are lonely without you.”

 

“Tell me where you are,” Peter demanded.

 

The man rolled his shoulders, displeased with Peter’s response. “Straight to business, huh? Stark Industries. Floor forty six. We’re all waiting.”

 

“All?” Peter blurted. “What do you mean all? Is Ben there too?”

 

He just shook his head, and the man reached for Michelle’s necklace and yanked it off of her chest. The camera feed went blank as he crushed it on the floor. “Say goodbye,” Peter heard.

 

“No, wait--” is all he got out, before the other end of the line went blank.

 

Frustrated, Peter sent the equipment flying, and shot up onto his feet and started tearing his clothes off, revealing the Spider-Man suit. He pulled on the mask, immediately greeted by Karen, who said, “Mr. Stark has an urgent message for you. Would you like to talk to him?”

 

“No,” he answered, shortly.

 

Peter stormed towards the window without another word. May shouted after him, “Be careful!” as he dove out into the night.

 

Tony called him and sent him so many messages that Peter demanded for Karen to shut off his communication system. He was fuming, and couldn’t think straight. And, as he swung down the final strip of road separating him and the Octopus, Peter was basically just all rage. He had never considered murder before, but, it  _ really _ seemed appealing.

 

Of course, he wouldn’t do it. But for Peter Parker, of all people, to think like that-- he had to be on a different level of anger.

 

“Karen,” he spoke, looking at Stark Industries from a perch. “Scan for bodies.”

 

“Seventy nine people are inside. Including two people near the top.” She showed the heat scan, and Peter saw exactly what he needed to see. That’s where Michelle was.

 

He scaled the building, bracing himself for what was about to commence. It was just another fight, he told himself. Just another brawl that he had been through a million times before. Peter would have to punch and kick and throw things around, like he always did. It felt different, though. Sure, he had saved the city a handful of times, but this felt impossible. For once, he had to save someone close to him, and it was like his world was crumbling around him.

 

The window was completely shattered. Karen turned the heat scan off and, for a few seconds, Peter sat there against the glass. He took deep breaths and whispered to himself, “You can do this. You can do this.” He could. He could do this.

 

Peter hoisted himself up and rolled through the broken glass on the floor. Instantly, he saw Michelle, just a few feet in front of him. “Peter,” she said, sighing with relief. 

 

Seeing her, tied up to a chair with tear stained cheeks, he forgot everything Tony had taught him. He launched towards her, forgetting that Karen had showed him another person in the room. His hands untied the knots, ignoring his tingling Spider sense.

 

“I told you I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you,” Peter told her as the ropes around her hands dropped to the floor, and he got work on the ones around her feet.

 

“It’s Otto,” Michelle blurted.

 

He froze. “What’s Otto?”

 

That was the trigger; from a dark, shadowy corner of the room, a metallic arm came hurtling towards Peter. He was stunned, hardly having enough time to dodge. And even though he was able to, a second arm gripped onto him and shoved him against the wall.

 

Peter’s lungs constricted as he saw the man lurk out of the shadows. He was short and plump, and strutted over to Peter with a sense of cockiness that Otto would never possess. So it couldn’t possibly be him, Peter thought. It couldn’t possibly be the man who promised him his undying support.

 

But it was him, wasn’t it? Otto had become increasingly irritable and malicious over the past few weeks, snapping at Peter when he suggested trying to smooth things over with Michelle. He didn’t want to admit it, but as the man got closer, more and more, Peter knew.

 

“ _ I’m _ Otto,” he sneered, now up close and personal with Peter. He tore off his mask to reveal a gut punching pain in Peter’s stomach. Otto stared back at him, almost indistinguishable. The same soft eyes that once mentored him now were vindictive and cruel and were drowning in hate.

 

“You’ve got me here, now let her go. Let Ben go.” He didn’t know how he was still talking; his breaths were deep gasps, as the pain in his chest grew.

 

“That’s no fun,” Otto pouted. His voice was different. His voice had changed just like his eyes had. “Besides, I don’t want  _ you _ .”

 

Over his shoulder, Peter saw Michelle free herself, and jump to her feet. “Then what do you want?” he asked.

 

“To take away what you took from me.” His grip on Peter tightened, and he let out a high pitched screech.

 

“I didn’t do anything to you, Doc. I would never!” Peter started to desperately claw away at the metal around his chest, but to no avail. Meanwhile, he caught glimpses of Michelle grabbing one of the wooden planks.

 

She slammed it over Otto’s head, and then rammed it into his back. “Let him go,” she growled, and buried it into his side once more.

 

Otto stumbled over, but Peter was still pinned to the wall. Michelle kept hitting, and kicking, and slamming him with the wooden plank until Peter was able to wiggle out. When he did, however, Otto rose to his feet with a smug smile.

 

It was almost like he  _ wanted _ that to happen.

 

And from there, it all happened too fast. He grabbed Michelle, his arm retracting through the broken window as his gaze locked onto Peter. Peter, who released webs to pull Michelle in. Otto tore through it, his smile criminal.

 

Her legs kicked and she screamed and cried and yelled for Peter. And then, as she released her final, “Please, Peter, please!” Otto let go.

 

And Peter jumped out the window once more, just before Otto caught him.

 

He watched in fear as Michelle hurtled towards the ground.

 

Peter tapped on both of his web shooters, and prayed to God that they would make it in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no one mention that its been three weeks <3 i was just so stuck on trying to make this like, the best thing i’ve ever written. anyways i hope you guys enjoyed this! i’ll try to write the next update faster lol


	13. Chapter 13

**MICHELLE**

 

In the first grade, she had made a miscalculation on the monkey bars. Her fingers slipped off the metal and her back landed flat on the ground, freeing all of the air that was trapped in her lungs. She had sobbed and begged for air until another first grader had taken her to the nurse’s office. 

 

Peter always made fun of her for it. “It was four feet. How do you get the wind knocked out of you from falling four feet?” As if he wasn’t also scared as hell, watching his best friend clammer to breathe. 

 

This was like that, Michelle thought, her fully grown body falling what felt like hundreds of stories towards concrete. Except what was meeting her at the ground wasn’t another winded experience, but it was death, instead. 

 

She closed her eyes. Her tears were not strong enough to fight against the downward force, so they pooled in her waterline. Michelle’s arms and legs were stationary as they were lifted up in the air. She had given up. 

 

That was the plan all along, right? For Ben to be safe even if she wasn’t. Except, she didn’t know where Ben was. Except, he could still die even after she does. Except, she won’t be able to see her little boy grow up.

 

Her last thoughts wouldn’t be about  _ exceptions _ . Michelle bombarded herself with the good memories; the first time she heard Ben’s heartbeat, and how magical it made her feel. The first time she kissed Peter, and how it made everything else in the world so unimportant. The  _ last _ time she kissed Peter, and how he loved her all this time. 

 

She took one last inhale and pried her eyes open. Michelle saw Peter within Otto’s claws, and then everything sped up once more. Her slow motion, blissful reflection had halted to show her reality.

 

She knew the ground was getting closer.

 

The cars were getting louder. The bystanders’ voices were like dynamite in her ears. In just a few seconds, everything would go black.

 

One second. Michelle caught one last glimpse of the red and black suit.

 

Two seconds. She thought about how her son’s smile was her favorite thing in the world.

 

Three seconds, and her counting got interrupted. 

 

She felt something connect high on her chest and around her legs. The webs tightened, slowing her fall, and Michelle could just hardly see Peter struggling to pull her higher so she had more leeway.

 

Then, she stopped falling.

 

She let out a gasp in disbelief and looked over her shoulder; she was just nine or ten feet from the ground below her. Her hands flew to her face, overwhelmed, and Michelle started  _ laughing _ . Laughing and crying and thanking God that she didn’t die.

 

The webs connected to her feet got cut. Her legs were forced down, and she heard the crowd that had collected scream once more. Michelle gripped onto the remaining web strand for dear life, just as Otto snapped that one in half, too.

 

A few crowd members caught her. She still made contact with the ground, crushing one of the men in the process, but her fall had been broken. 

 

“Are you okay?” the man asked. He held onto her shoulders and squeezed, trying to get her attention.

 

Michelle smacked his hands away and launched herself onto her feet. Her back and neck ached, but she stared straight up, anyways. She could only catch glimpses of the fight; Peter being thrown out the window, then circling around and flying back in; a metal arm expanding outwards, probably on accident. She couldn’t tell-- and for that reason alone, she needed to be up there.

 

She started off towards the entrance of the building, only to be stopped by the group who saved her. “You need to go to the hospital,” one of them said. “You’re in shock. Just take a moment, okay?” a woman told her. “Are you crazy? There’s no way you’re going up there. Spidey’s got this.”

 

Michelle glared into the man’s eyes, the one she had just brushed off. “He’s got this,” he repeated. “Spidey always wins the fight.”

 

She tried pushing against their arms, but the three of them overpowered her greatly. Michelle bit her lip and looked up again, and saw Peter dangling from the ledge. 

 

That set off a reaction within her, even though that was a sight she had seen daily in high school. Michelle let out a shriek, falling to her knees and sobbing into her hands. She was helpless. Useless. A withering mess on the concrete. She had never felt so  _ dispensable _ before. At least a few hours ago, she was trading her life for her son. At least five minutes ago, she had smacked Otto with a plank of wood that had distracted him.

 

But now, Michelle had to sit and wait. Wait to find out if Peter was going to win and if he’d find the location of their son.

 

She wasn’t as confident as everyone else was.

 

A lull fell over the people surrounding her. She felt them leave her side, almost timidly, as footsteps approached her. “Michelle,” Tony Stark’s voice rang through her ears, his hand resting on her shoulder. “We have to get you out of here.”

 

He was in his suit. His Iron Man suit.

 

“Why aren’t you up there?” was her first thought. “He needs  _ help _ . Go help him!”

 

Tony pulled her up to her feet. “He won’t want me there, and you know it.”

 

“I don’t care what he  _ wants _ . It’s what he  _ needs _ , Stark. Y--”

 

Not wanting to comply with her resistance, with his arms holding onto her tightly, Tony turned his blasters on. They rocketed into the sky; Michelle held her breath, with her new fear of heights.

 

“He  _ needs _ you out of danger. So he doesn’t have to worry about you, as well,” Tony told her.

 

Time went slowly as they crossed through New York’s districts, and the whole time, Michelle’s heart rate never slowed; she wanted to be on the ground. She hated how her feet were dangling and she hated how flimsy Tony’s grasp felt. She hated how she left Peter behind, the most, though.

 

She sprinted for the television when they got to Peter’s apartment, disregarding everyone else. Every news channel had almost indecipherable footage due to the poor moonlight, but the reporters had constant updates. “He only has three legs now! Go Spidey! Oh… he’s on the ground now. He’s getting up. Firing webs. And-- they missed. This might be a long one, folks.”

 

It felt like a rollercoaster ride. Peter was winning, then they were tied, and then he was thrown through a building and it seemed like he wasn’t getting up. Michelle had little moments of celebration because it would look like the fight was over-- but it never was.

 

Ned and Gwen were on either side of her, watching in anticipation, just like her. May and Tony were discussing something down the hall that Michelle had taken zero interest in. Otto only had two metal arms now. 

 

May, frustrated, stomped down the hall, coming to a halt in front of Michelle. “We have something to tell you, sweetie,” she said. “Something Tony should’ve mentioned in the first place.”

 

“Peter--” she attempted to argue, but was cut off by May.

 

“Tony found Ben. Right after Otto took you. He tried calling Peter but he never picked up, so…” May continued talking, a sympathetic look crowding her face, but all Michelle could hear was noise. Nothing specific, just  _ noise _ .

 

She stood up, breezing past May and walking towards Tony, who angled his head down in shame as he pointed to Peter’s bedroom. Michelle rushed towards the door, swinging it open in a hurry.

 

The hallway only provided a sliver of light. But, perfectly, it illuminated her son’s face. His flawlessly unharmed, beautiful, pure face. His face that looked so much like his dad’s, sleeping peacefully.

 

Michelle wanted to be blissfully happy. A part of her was; he was  _ safe _ . He was in front of her once more and she was never letting him out of her sights again because she would be so nervous. As she let out a happy sob, though, Michelle’s heart remained heavy. Ben might’ve been safe, but Peter wasn’t.

 

She took a few steps forward, slipping her shoes off as she etched the sheets back just enough for her to lay down on. Carefully, Michelle pulled her son into her chest. She couldn’t describe how overwhelmed she was.

 

“Mama?” Ben sleepishly said. All of a sudden, he was energetic. “Mama! I missed you. But I had such a good time with the octopus! He let me play with his toys and gave me McDonald’s. I tried to tell him that you never let me have it but--”

 

“Baby,” Michelle whispered. “Let’s go back to sleep. It’s been a long day.” She actually wanted to hear his voice for hours, but was choking back tears. She didn’t want Ben to see her cry again.

 

He frowned. “Where’s papa?”

 

“H-he’s on his way. If we go to bed, he’ll be here before we know it.”

 

Ben’s face scrunched up like he didn’t believe her, but he laid his head down, anyways. She held him close to her, finally able to take a breath. She didn’t think she would ever fall asleep, but the exhaustion of her long and daunting past few hours had taken over.

 

The first time Michelle woke up, it was an hour later. Ben was still asleep--and still in her arms, thank god--when she heard a creaking noise behind her. She froze, her heart beat kicking up once more. Then, the other side of the bed dipped, and someone let out a painful groan.

 

“P-Peter?” she whispered, her back still turned.

 

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” he answered. It sounded like it hurt him to talk.

 

Carefully, she moved Ben out of her arms and flipped herself over. She placed her hands on either side of Peter’s face, only getting a glimpse of his bruised and beaten face before kissing him. Deeply, contently, kissing him.

 

He was safe, Michelle’s head was screaming.  _ He was safe _ .

 

“I didn’t think you were coming back.” Their foreheads were pressed together as their noses grazed. She was breathing him in, finally allowing herself to be blissfully happy that this was over.

 

Peter’s hand rested on her lower back. She could feel him smile against her. “You thought wrong, Jones. When I saw you fall, I-- I didn’t think you were--”

 

“You thought wrong, Parker,” she echoed. Michelle placed her lips against his again, but it was just a quick peck. “Are you okay?”

 

“I’ve been through worse. Are you?”

 

“You’re here, and Ben is here, both safe-- I’m perfect.” She rested her head against his chest, her arms snaking around his waist.

 

Peter winced as she did, but when Michelle went to withdraw herself, he urgently stopped her. “I’ll heal quicker with you like that.”

 

“That’s not how that works.”

 

“You don’t know that.”

 

She knew he just wanted her to hold him; she also knew, she just wanted to be touching him. Making sure Peter was there, and breathing, and that they lost no more time at all. So, Michelle held onto him until they both fell asleep. And it was the best sleep she had had since high school.

 

The second time she woke up, it was almost noon, and she was all alone.

 

She lurked out of bed, stumbling down the hallway as she tried to rub the tiredness out of her eyes. Ben was sitting on the couch, swaying his legs along to the theme song of his favorite cartoon. Peter wasn’t anywhere in sight. “Ben,” Michelle started, already worried, “Where’s your dad?”

 

“Iron Man needed his help! Papa is so cool. He left a note on the fridge,” her son said, pointing absentmindedly towards the kitchen. He returned to humming the theme song under his breath.

 

Michelle stiffly turned, the hairs on her arms sticking straight up. If Peter had to do Spider-Man business, he would’ve woken her up. He  _ always _ used to wake her up before he left, whether it be because he wanted donuts, or the world was crumbling.

 

She yanked the note free from the magnet, ripping off a corner in the process.  _ MJ _ , it read,  _ I love you, and I love Ben. There’s nothing and no one in the world that I love more than the two of you. But, I think you were right. You’re both safer without me around _ .

 

The rest was rambling, discussing how sorry he was and that he wished there was another way. Michelle, furious, crumpled the note into a ball, her fingernails tearing holes into it.

 

It didn’t get to end like this.

 

Peter didn’t get to leave like this.

 

They had waited too long-- knowing each other since elementary school, falling in love in middle school, only being in a relationship for three months before not talking for six years. They had waited too long to never get a resolution.

 

And it wasn’t  _ just _ the two of them that had waited. It was also Ben, who so desperately wanted and deserved his father. Peter, however noble he might have considered himself to be, was wrong.

 

Michelle stormed across the room, and in one fell swoop, she picked Ben up and turned the TV off. He argued, whining in her ear about how his show had just started. Still, she forced both of their shoes on, and rushed out of Peter’s apartment.

 

With Ben on her hip, she called his phone. It went straight to voicemail, though, so immediately after, she called Ned. Michelle’s stomach twisted as it rang, and rang, and rang.

 

_ It didn’t get to end like this _ , she thought again.

 

“MJ!” Ned cheered, nervous. “How are you doing? Sorry we weren’t there when you woke up. May wanted us all gone, you know, to give you space.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. Where’s Peter?”

 

There was a forced scoff on the other end of the line. “ _ Whaaat _ ? Peter isn’t there? That is so-- wait a second, MJ.  _ I’m not giving you the phone _ ,” he said to someone else.

 

“Ned. I saw the note. Where’d he go?” Michelle exited her apartment building, the wind rushing her face. Ben winced, unprepared for the sunlight.

 

Ned sighed. “I can’t tell you that, MJ. He’s my best--  _ Gwen _ .”

 

“Hi, Michelle,” a new voice, Gwen’s, spoke. “He’s at May’s. At least, he was an hour ago. I hope you find him and beat some sense into him. He really… he really loves you, and I think he’s just an idiot and doesn’t realize-- I’ll stop talking. Good luck, Michelle.”

 

“Thank you,” Michelle said. 

 

Gwen sounded slightly choked up when she hung the phone up, nevertheless adding another positive statement to uplift Michelle. 

 

If Peter was gone before she got there-- she didn’t know how she would react. Michelle had cried more in the last few days than she ever had, so she had practically ran out of that emotion. She would probably just be pissed, like she currently was. And she didn’t want to be angry whenever she thought of Peter.

 

The walk to May’s place felt like years. Ben stayed silent, and the both of them avoided the stares of judgmental pedestrians who didn’t like their pajamas.

 

When she got there, her anger simmered. Now, Michelle was worried that he wouldn’t be inside. She’d never find him again. It would all end.

 

She knocked three times. “Open the door, Peter,” she yelled, not wasting any time waiting.

 

Michelle could hear May’s muffled voice on the other side. “ _ Answer it _ ,” she said, blatantly disappointed.

 

A beat passed before the door swung open. Peter hung his head low, “You weren’t supposed to--”

 

“I don’t care,” Michelle interrupted.

 

May walked over and took Ben from her arms, “Let’s go get some lunch, yeah?” 

 

Ben nodded eagerly. He didn’t even say goodbye before they left, too excited to care. Now, it was just Peter and Michelle. She pushed her fingers into his chest and he stumbled backwards. “You think you can just leave?” she shouted, kicking the door closed behind her. “You think we’re better off? You think Ben doesn’t deserve his dad? You think  _ I _ don’t deserve--”

 

“MJ-- MJ, stop.” Peter caught her hands mid-shove. His deep brown eyes were coated in sympathy-- the same eyes she fell in love with. If she looked into them, for a moment, Michelle would forget her anger. “Isn’t this what you wanted in the first place?”

 

“I never  _ wanted  _ this. Peter, I always wanted you around, but I was just scared that something bad would happen.”

 

“Yeah, well. Something bad  _ did _ happen. And it’s my fault.”

 

She gritted her teeth. “It’s not your fault that someone is a psychopath.”

 

“I  _ created _ him, though. I-in a way. None of this would’ve happened if I had just--” Michelle didn’t care for his reasonings, or his rationalization. She rolled her eyes dramatically enough to get a reaction out of him. “ _ What _ ?”

 

“Peter, you aren’t some God. You can’t do everything, and you can’t save everyone. So whatever Otto went though because you were trying to save the city-- I don’t care. But, guess what I  _ do _ care about.” She rested her hand on his cheek, forcing him to gaze at her. “All these years, I was just worried that something terrible would happen. I never thought that you might save us. And you did. You saved both of us.”

 

He took a sharp inhale, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t have had to I was never around in the first place.”

 

“For the love of God, Peter-- you aren’t allowed to leave.”

 

“Not  _ allowed _ ?”

 

“Nope. Not allowed. You are not allowed to leave your five year old son. You are not allowed to leave the city you have been defending for close to ten years now. You are not allowed to leave  _ me _ .”

 

Tears fell down Peter’s face, and timidly, he opened his eyes. “I just-- I don’t know what I’d do if it happened again.”

 

“You’ll  _ save us _ . And if you ever need saving, I’ll save you. But I can’t do that if you don’t stick around.”

 

Rashly, their bodies slammed together as he gave her a tight embrace. Like he was holding on for dear life, the hug was packed with burdens of their past and fears of their future. Michelle let Peter cry as she whispered into his ear, telling and repeating her love and her trust in him. 

 

They stood in that hug until she said, “Promise you’ll never leave again,” in need of verbal confirmation. He gave it; kissing her, then promising a myriad of times as his lips made contact with her’s, then her cheek, and all around her face.

 

They sat down on the couch after Peter stopped. Michelle rested her head in his lap and they just sat there, resting, and in all honesty, wondering what to do next.

 

Next, May and Ben came back, and Ben laid down on top of both of them. 

 

Next, moving fast, like they always had, Michelle moved into his apartment. Her mom was happy to hear it, and they had a heart to heart at one in the morning about all the mistakes they both made.

 

Next, and next, and next--  _ she _ proposed, they got married, Ben was eight years old when his little sister was born. 

 

It wasn’t all easy, or simple. Michelle would be reminded of that day and still feel her entire body breaking, but then, there were days like her daughter’s birth. Or the day she graduated from NYU. Peter had taken her out, and it was just as romantic as their first date.

 

Michelle felt content, for the first time since their graduating class threw that party, all those years ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alright.
> 
> if it feels like the ending was rushed, i'm sorry. i felt like if i prolonged the story anymore it would've become boring/repetitive. also, tysm to my friend lane, who helped me so much with this story. without her i probably wouldn't have gotten anywhere with this. there's a lot in the story i'm not 100% pleased with, but i really do love this story a lot. it was my first attempt at a 'complex' plot and for the most part, i think i did okay. 
> 
> so, yeah. it's done. thank you to everyone who left a kudos or a comment or left me a cc question. it meant so much to me and i hope that this last chapter was at least kind of satisfying. i love you all <3
> 
> my twitter: @parkerbjones  
> and if you want to read my other works you know where to find them :)


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